“What helps us to better understand the other (representative of a different nationality, religion, other worldview positions)? ”

Introductory part.

1) The relevance of the topic.

This topic is relevant because:

firstly, working on this topic will help me develop my abilities and skills for this type of project;

secondly, for the last 2 years I have been thinking about a topic of this kind, and when the opportunity arose to work on such a topic, I decided not to miss this opportunity.

2) The problem is in my theme.
In this topic, the girth of humanity and the whole world is taken. I believe that any conflicts, wars, disagreements, etc. occur due to a lack of understanding of each other, and to each other. People do not know how and do not want to understand other people. For this, I think we should consider the reasons for our misunderstanding towards each other, and only then think about what can help us in this .

Main part.

1) Definition of the purpose and objectives of the study.

The purpose of this study is to obtain the correct answer and solution to the question posed: “What helps us better understand the other (representative of a different nationality, religion, other worldview)?”

The objective of this study is to collect as much information as possible in both theoretical and practical terms.

2) Theoretical part.

" What helps us to better understand the other (a representative of a different nationality, religion, other worldview positions)?"? that I exaggerate everything too much, and that there is no need to globalize everything like that, but I will tell you: "no", because I approach this issue, the topic in my own way.
So, before asking the question: "What helps us to better understand the other ...?", I think we need to ask the question: "Do we need to understand the other at all ..?". I think that this is necessary. .To. if you have no understanding for another person, therefore, you have a misunderstanding for him. If you have a misunderstanding for a person, then there will be a quarrel between you, then a disagreement, then a conflict, then enmity, and in the end a war. I think it’s understandable what do I mean .. Again, not everyone asks such a question. Why? I think because people in the world are becoming indifferent to everything and everyone.
It seems to me one andOne of the reasons for misunderstanding between different people is their indifference to others, which also leads to selfish preferences. The second reason I would call is that people always pay attention to such "little things" as faith, nationality, race, etc. On the one hand sides are important things, because they are a component of a person, but this is not an object because of which people would not understand each other. As I said, people need to understand each other, but for this you need to take certain steps (concessions), perhaps, for some, difficult steps. I think that these concessions are: showing respect for another, the ability to listen to another, and in the end imagining oneself in the place of another person, and all this leads to correct communication.
I would like to know if there are individuals, figures, etc. who have somehow touched on this topic?
"Understanding is the beginning of harmony" (Benedict Spinoza) ( https://shkolazhizni.ru/psychology/articles/61503/) Perhaps most of all, many lack tolerance and the ability to understand another person. If the interlocutor has views or intentions that are different from ours, then automatically, unconsciously, we are aggressive towards him. Probably, we all know how it happens when you suddenly find yourself in the middle of an angry argument, even if the topic is not serious, and the opponent is a stranger. It is very important not to immediately dismiss views that differ from yours. After all, how many people - so many opinions. And it is difficult to argue that one of them is more correct than the other. Just try to understand the other person. Why does he think so, why does he disagree with your point of view. Think about how to show him your point of view, explain to him why you adhere to it. Tell the person directly. Talk about it. Indeed, often during a conversation, people say one thing, but they feel and think something completely different.




.

Practical part .

I decided to conduct a small survey (https://www.testograf.ru/ru/oprosi/aktualnie/4c0431ef74015a543.html) , which would help me to consider the point of view of different people (of different nationalities, confessions, worldviews) using social networks such as Facebook, Instagram, Vkontakte about the main issue of my project.

Here's what happened:

Based on the above data, we can say that the majority believes that it is important to understand other people, but still there are those who do not agree with this statement.

Conclusion.

Looking at the practical part of my work, one can say that people want to understand different people, perhaps they know the reasons for misunderstanding among themselves, and they know what would help them understand others, but at the same time, people take into account the very "little things" (above said). You know, we are all different. This survey was "not alive", and therefore we cannot find out whether people answered sincerely or not. But I would like to believe that sincerely. Even if these were sincere answers, the question is asked: "A do you use all this in your life?". In my opinion, perhaps only a few ..

For this, in the "Theoretical part" of my work, I expressed my point of view on this issue. Perhaps this will be useful for someone.

Summing up my work, I would like to say once again, or rather make a call for people to understand each other, because this is one of the important components in our life.

Sources:
The main source of all information is a personal archive and life experience.

The great wisdom in life is understanding that you see and perceive the world differently than others perceive it. And the great task in life is to learn to understand people. After all, sometimes it is not so easy to understand a person.

How many times in your life, after talking to someone, have you said to yourself or to people around you: “I can’t believe that she said this” or “Why can’t he understand that what he is doing is wrong?" and so on and so forth.

Some of us go through life making decisions based on how we think - and no one else. We often act based only on our ideas about how life should be and how others should act or react to our words and deeds. And when things do not go “our way”, or the people around us do not act the way we think, this leads us to disappointment.

Imagine what your life would be like if you could accept or understand someone else's point of view. As a rule, in most cases we consider ourselves right in any situation. Sometimes we can still see a different point of view, but, for the most part, the last word still remains with us.

Here are some tips to help you understand the other person's point of view.

• Understand that the other person firmly believes that they are doing everything right (although we may think that they are just crazy). This is already a big step forward, which will help you look at the situation from a different angle. There is nothing wrong with realizing that everyone else is also right in their own heads.

• Accept that other people have their own opinions and their own way of doing things. Instead of thinking that only your path is right and that everyone else is wrong, accept that others have their own path.

• Don't take it personally. It is very, very difficult, especially when we sort things out with our loved ones and family. The hardest part is getting over when someone close to you seems to intentionally hurt your feelings. You have to realize that this is their reality and maybe they don't really know how they make you feel.

• Therefore, do not assume that other people know how you feel. They don't know it. We can only assume what others think about how their words or actions affect us.

• The way you see the world may be different from how others see it. We are all people with different views of the world. Understand that others have their own thoughts, feelings, and ideas about situations that are different from ours.

• What if you spend a week just watching what is happening around you? Just become an observer of other people and their lives. Sounds simple, but it's an interesting practice that will help you understand people better.

Building relationships with others and understanding people is one of the most difficult tasks in life. This is very difficult. Look at it this way - we are all part of a big family. We are all completely different, and this makes life very interesting. Would it be interesting for you to live if you were surrounded only by your doubles?

If you can accept that we are all unique and we all have differences, that will be the first step towards your personal freedom. This is not an easy task, but if you listen and try to understand people day in and day out, you will be on your way to a happy life.

Do you find it easy to understand people?

Understanding is the main key to success in human relationships. If a marriage breaks up, conflicts occur at work, communication with friends or relatives stops, we usually say that understanding has disappeared. This means that two people for some reason moved away from each other or hostility arose between them. How to avoid this and learn to understand loved ones?

What does it mean to understand a person

How to understand another person

To learn to understand other people, make it a rule not to perceive events and phenomena only through the prism of your own views and beliefs. Sometimes it can be very difficult, if you are still able to understand one person, then the other is a complete mystery to you due to differences in opinion.

How to understand that a person is lying

It is quite difficult to immediately understand whether a person is telling the truth or not. He can lie selflessly and quite convincingly, but his gestures, facial expressions and manner of speech will betray him sooner or later. Knowing about some psychological tricks and methods, you can easily expose a liar.

• Look closely at the interlocutor, his eyes can tell about his sincerity. Psychologists believe that if a person in a conversation with you raises his eyes up, then he remembers something, that is, he refers to visual memory. But moving the gaze to the right and down indicates an internal monologue and careful selection of words. Body language is very important here, twitching the shoulder or leg, stepping back, lifting the chin - all this is also an alarm signal.
• It is possible to expose a deceiver by watching him. A person can tell something with interest and gesticulate, trying to captivate you, and at the same time shake his head from side to side, as if disagreeing with himself. Other signs of lying are regular touching of the lips, neck and nose, folding fingers into the lock, stroking one hand with the other (a gesture of self-soothing).
• Trying to mislead, the interlocutor often deviates from the main topic and talks about all sorts of nonsense, stretching time and wondering whether to tell the truth. Ask him a direct question, most likely, he will be confused and confess to deception.
• To find out the information you need, do not warn the person that the conversation will take place. Go beyond the standard scenario, ask the same unexpected questions, periodically change their wording.
• Never lay out everything that you know at once, use leading questions, when there is enough information, you can compare it with the information you know.

PHOTO Getty Images

“I can’t imagine why he did this” ... “I don’t understand your feelings!” Many of us, even if we didn't say those words out loud, felt something similar. Sometimes we really lack the ability to read the thoughts and feelings of other people. Some are lucky - and they are gifted with empathy almost from birth. And what about the rest? Are they doomed to remain ignorant? Not at all.

The ability to understand other people can be developed. This will help two simple and exciting exercises. Both of these are variations on a basic technique called "Duplication" in psychodrama. When there is a desire or need to better understand the state of a person, you enter the role of an interlocutor for a while, trying to think with his head, feel with his body, pronounce his state.

Method 1. With strangers

You can, for example, in public transport choose one of the passengers to train. Now mentally imagine that you are him. Become him. What do you think about when you are him? What do you feel? What emotions are you experiencing? Be sure to speak in the first person (not “he rejoices”, but “I rejoice”), as if putting yourself in his place.

Not the fact that you will guess the parameters of the passenger's state. And even if you guess, it's not always possible to check it. But the task here is different - to get used to entering the role of another person, trying on his condition for yourself. You can also train in the park or in a cafe. At the end of the exercise, do not forget to "come to yourself", that is, to remind yourself who you are.

Method 2. With friends

Play Guess with a friend.

1. Invite a friend to participate in an experiment.

2. Place a chair next to his chair so that you are facing the same direction. A bench or sofa is also suitable.

3. Ask a friend to sit quietly for a while (15-20 seconds is enough).

4. Imagine that you are him. You can reproduce his posture, try to synchronize the rhythm of your breathing.

5. Now, as if from his role, pronounce the state in the first person. For example: "I'm calm and I like this game" or "I feel a little annoyed because you stuck with this game, but I didn't finish my coffee."

6. The task of the person being duplicated is to repeat only that part of the message that was guessed. You can't say "no", "wrong". If not a single word of "understudy" is suitable, then his interlocutor simply describes his condition in his own words.

The dialog might look like this:

Understudy (D): I'm a little tired, so much work has accumulated.

Subject (I): I'm tired because I didn't get enough sleep today.

D: If I got more sleep, I felt more alert.

AND: I would feel more energized if this exhausting renovation were over.

D: I don't like it when something is left unfinished, it creates constant tension.

AND: I don't like it when something is not done, it creates constant tension

The exercise lasts an average of 2-3 minutes. You can switch roles if you wish.

How to use

In its pure form, technology is not used in communication. But if you practice it regularly, you will be much better than before, closer to understanding the feelings and thoughts of other people. This will help you build good relationships and resolve conflicts more easily.

Anton Vorobyov - clinical psychologist, business coach, psychodrama specialist. On June 10 and 11, he holds master classes “Work for Joy or Play for Work” and “Guitar Light” at the Moscow Psychodrama Conference. See http://pd-conf.ru/ for details.

"The point of view depends on the point of sitting."

Have you ever seen how your loved ones quarrel? Agree that your feeling and the story of how it all happened can be very different from what its participants actually felt. Our perception of reality is highly dependent on the angle of view. This fact is well known to all.

It is on it that one of the important NLP techniques, which is called "", is based. Using it, we can consider any situation from all sides: with our own eyes, "get into the shoes" of another person and with the eyes of an outside observer. When changing positions, we can quickly learn understand others people and get additional tools for quick and effective interaction.

And although each of us knows how to do this, at the same time, we tend to “hang” for a long time in a preferred position of perception. While good communicators use all three with ease. One important mechanism by which this occurs is association and dissociation.

1 POSITION OF PERCEPTION

"I - position" is the territory of our personal experience, which refers to the state of "Here and Now". In it, we have the richest sensory experience, and can clearly answer questions:

What do I like or dislike?

What do I want?

How do I think to achieve something?

In "I-position" we are in the most associated state. And focused solely on their own values.

At the same time, this position is inherently selfish, since in it we always give ourselves the first place.

And she is often "cut off from reality." The expressions "walk in circles", "beat your head against the wall" are just about people who get stuck in it. In "I - position" we often fantasize and project our feelings and thoughts onto others. We present our guesses and assumptions as reality.

Almost like this joke:

A man and a woman are lying in bed. The man looks at the ceiling and is silent.
Thoughts of a woman: "Why is he silent? Probably out of love? I feel: he has a different one!"
Thoughts of a man: "A fly .... I wonder how it still keeps on the ceiling?"

2 POSITION OF PERCEPTION

This is also an associated position. But being in it, we are very good at reading the thoughts and feelings of other people. Our focus is on the partner's values. People with the second position of perception tend to empathize and understand others. The "reverse side of the coin" is that the needs of other people are always more important than their own. Often such a person forgets about himself, or his environment does not allow him to do this.

If a person in the "I - position" learns to get up from time to time in the 2nd position of perception, this will help him better understand the motives of other people's actions and behave less selfishly.

3 POSITION OF PERCEPTION

This is the position of "included observer". In it, a person is dissociated, and looks at the situation a little detached. Emotions are preserved, but not as pronounced as in the first position.

Position 3 example: Your boss scolds you for a job well done. If you move into the position of "included observer", you can look at it "through the eyes of another person". So it will be easier for you to notice: how you look from the side.

Once in the third position, you can always give good advice to yourself.

The advantage of this position is that it allows you to develop a different attitude towards what is happening or what you are going to do. In this position, your "inner sage" helps you, who will give good advice to your "I". You will quickly be able to understand what the other person is coming from, how it can be connected to your point of view and see alternative options.

Imagine that the two of you are building Lego, but blindly, without seeing the end result. Is it easy? The third position will give you the full picture.

Our learning of something also comes from different positions of perception. In martial arts, a transition from the 1st to the 2nd position is accepted, when the student repeats after the master, trying to reproduce all movements as accurately as possible. The same way children use, imitating the behavior of adults.

This can be seen when a small baby with a preoccupied look pushes a stroller with a doll in front of him, feeling like a mother.

In their games, children easily master the second position, reincarnating either as a doctor, or as a fireman, or as a singer. This is the process of unconscious modeling. By the way, children learn language in the same way. We, as adults, almost always learn a language using the transition from 1st to 3rd position: first we learn the rules and memorize words, and then we try to put them into practice. The inefficiency of this approach is clearly visible: we have been studying a foreign language for years, and still cannot begin to speak it.

The ability to quickly move into different positions of perception and use them correctly gives us many advantages in life.

Very often, people cannot get out of a state of conflict just because each of them remains exclusively in the "I - position": spouses dividing property after a divorce, a subordinate and a boss who cannot find a compromise solution in any way, friends whose quarrel dragged on for years.

The husband returns home after a difficult, stressful day with the only desire: "Relax and be silent!". He is met by his wife, a housewife who has no one to talk to for the whole day. Having fed him, she hopes for some kind of communication (or, at least, for words of gratitude for caring). When she repeatedly does not receive attention, her resentment grows larger.And there comes a point when she can't stand it.

Mom calls her son from a walk. He plaintively asks for permission to finish playing an interesting game, but receives a categorical answer: "Hurry home! Dinner is getting cold!" A frustrated child leaves his friends with regret and eats cooked food without appetite.

If close relatives tend to take the first position all the time, then conflicts are inevitable in such a family.

The best option is when a person can take the position of another, and then explain in the correct form: why he did it, and that he expects the same attitude from his partner.

If a person simply adjusts all the time, and does not say anything at the same time, then the feeling "that he is being used", "his interests are not taken into account" will grow. And then, the explosion is inevitable.

In families in which they are able to consider situations from all 3 positions of perception, warmer and more trusting relationships develop towards each other. And their children are better adapted to adult life.

So the question is: How to learn to understand others?" just doesn't work for them.