NATA CARLIN

Respect is a feeling that is very difficult to achieve among people. This word defines many attitudes, feelings and actions. How you treat people determines their respect for you.

Become difficult. This feeling is based not on a one-sided attitude of a person to a partner, but on mutual agreement and understanding. This is equality in decision-making, the ability to make joint decisions, the right to vote and choose in life situations.

Men sometimes misunderstand the concept of self-respect from a female. They believe that ladies are obliged to respect them only because they are men who are physically strong and earn a lot of money. This statement is not true. Men are respected for their generosity, understanding, love and self-respect in return.

A woman worthy of respect - what is she like?

Respect is not love, when a person, at times, cannot even say why he loves.

Therefore, a woman who wants a man to respect her must meet certain requirements. There are several points that cause respect for a woman:

Modesty;
Decency;
Absence of bad habits;
Attention and care in relation to loved ones;
Intelligence and ingenuity in making serious decisions.

And she is engaged in housekeeping and children, worthy of respect no less than the one that runs a large company and earns a lot of money. The work of housewives is no less difficult, but more important for the peace of mind of a man. Therefore, do not wait to give your woman a bouquet of flowers and say kind words to her. Appreciate your soulmate and make surprises for her, regardless of the season and holiday schedule.

How to win the respect of a woman - the rules

A self-respecting man can quickly earn the trust and reciprocal feeling of respect from a woman. This is achieved simply, you need to follow the following rules:

As you, so to you.

Show respect for your significant other. If she sees that you are attentive and understanding to her needs and problems, the answer will be the same. Admire your lady and emphasize her irreplaceability for you. A woman should feel protected, desired and needed. Listen to what she has to say, don't "brush" her opinion, and never make fun of her in front of strangers. Knowing that a man respects her opinion, a woman will try to behave with dignity in any situation.

Don't lock yourself in.

Some men, possessing remarkable intelligence and a sharp sense of humor, drive themselves into a corner, believing that it is not desirable to put dignity on display. Feel free to show your talents in front of your loved one. On the contrary, you must prove to your lady that you have something to respect.

Joke, express your point of view not as circumstances require, but as you really think.

Lies and deceit.

These two "abilities" must be excluded from communication between a man and a woman. If she does not know the truth, she subconsciously feels deceit. Especially when a man dodges and comes up with various fables. With a woman you need to be extremely honest and open. If you can't tell the truth (for reasons beyond your control), explain to the lady that you don't feel determined to talk about it today. Ask her to reschedule this conversation for another time. In return, you will receive a woman's gratitude for not deceiving her.

Confidence and education.

Don't look away the moment a woman is talking to you. Look into your eyes and listen carefully. A confident direct look commands respect and. He says that a person is interested, he is confident in himself, and knows how to listen to the interlocutor. Express readiness to solve her problems, help with advice or support morally. A well-bred and self-confident man will not refuse to help a weak lady.

Man of his word.

This point applies not only. To be a man of his word means to become a respected person in society. People begin to trust you and know that you will live up to their expectations. If a woman knows that you do not do what you promise, she will never respect you. A man must keep his word, no matter what it costs him.

Male beginning.

The main purpose of men, which is inherent in their nature, is a protector. If you are afraid of hooligans or retreat before a boor, a woman will not respect you. You don't have to fight with your fists. Brute male power is not always a worthy way out of the situation. But in the case when the honor of your lady is affected or you see that the weak are being offended, you must intercede.

understand and appreciate.

To gain respect for yourself, you need to appreciate the good deeds of other people. If you show understanding and appreciate what others do for you and your loved ones, then you yourself are capable of such actions. Just try to appreciate the actions of people at their true worth, excessive admiration for other people's success is like flattery or bad. Sincerity and selflessness are the criteria that you act from a pure heart.

Remember the proverb that a kind word is also pleasant for a cat? A woman, of course, is not a cat, but she is pleased with affection and warmth. Treat your woman with all the tenderness that you are capable of. Do not think that the manifestation of love and feelings is the lot of the weak. Real men are able to become strong and weak when needed.

Aggression.

Needless to say, a woman will respect you if you demand respect for yourself with your fists. This is a method that will not cause respect for you, not only from her. Bullying is an expression of an extreme degree of dissatisfaction with oneself. A person who is able to hurt someone who is weaker than him is condemned in society. The same applies to the screams that a man starts in the family. Never allow yourself, even if no one hears it. Aggressive behavior towards close person will not make him respect you as a person.

Jealousy.

Seeing the dignity of their woman and the attention that men pay to her, some representatives of the strong half of humanity begin to be furiously jealous. Remember what destroys you from the inside. It overshadows the mind and has a negative impact on the psyche of partners, and on. Better be happy for yourself. You see that your woman is really beautiful. You especially like the fact that she loves only you. By baseless nit-picking, you will make her think that you may be right, and it is worth trying to start a relationship on the side. At least to ensure that your claims are grounded.

Nonsense.

Women tend to do stupid things. For men, their actions do not make any sense, and defy logic. But that's the way women are.

Take her nonsense like a child's prank. Explain what she is wrong, try to find mutual language, but do not inflate "out of molehills."

Women are not stupid, they are perceptive.

Do not laugh at the actions of your woman. What you consider strange and inexplicable in the actions and behavior of your woman should not be condemned or ridiculed. Perhaps you don't know true reason her actions. Wait a while. Most likely, the truth will become known to you, and you will thank her for caring. Admire her and get out of difficult situations.

Need for communication.

Do not limit the communication of your woman with people. For ladies, nothing can be more uplifting and enjoyable than an evening out with a friend or a high school reunion. It happens that a man in every possible way limits the circle of communication of his woman with "people from the past." Think for yourself, she is your woman who chose you from hundreds of people she knows in this world. She is pleased to take care of the family, live in communication with you and the interests of children. But man is not a mechanism, he needs a break. Twittering with her friends, she receives a lot of information that is so necessary for all female representatives. Her meetings with friends and colleagues are an opportunity to get away from the routine. Give her the freedom to communicate with people, encourage interests and the desire to be in a team.

And, finally, your woman is the person with whom you once connected fate. You've known each other for a while now. remain in the past and are forgotten. She keeps the hearth of your house, takes care of you and the children, tries to be needed. She gave birth to children in pain, did not sleep at night over their beds. It fills your life with meaning and happiness. So, why not answer her in kind? As soon as a woman understands that you need her as a person, interlocutor and adviser, she will give herself even more to you.

Respect between a man and a woman is trust, backed by a firm belief that the person who lives nearby will not betray or hurt. Love your women, give them gifts, indulge, as your mother spoiled you in childhood. Talk to her, discuss topics that concern you. Let her not understand some of your explanations, tell her again. Do not skimp on affection and tender feelings. Let a woman know that she will find in you a reliable shoulder and a “notorious vest”, which will always be her reliable rear and comfort in difficult times.

Teach what she does not know how, and she, in turn, will teach you to be a real man and a reliable father of the family.

February 24, 2014, 03:59 PM

Every time we change jobs, we have to prove our professional competence and authority anew. Throwing dust in the eyes of people with whom you have to work is pointless, so you need to demonstrate real-life positive qualities.

Settling in new job When joining an unfamiliar team, we are again and again faced with the need to earn credibility and gain respect. The nature of man is such that without this he is not able to fully experience spiritual comfort and receive satisfaction from his daily activities. After all, what is respect, if not proof of our human and professional viability.

How to make co-workers respect you

1. Be professional

The first way to earn the respect of colleagues is to prove your professionalism. This is the main and indisputable condition. You can be a charming person, an excellent listener, a witty interlocutor, sensitive, loyal and helpful, but if at the same time you do not know the basics of your business, get confused in terms, do not understand elementary things and demonstrate incompetence, you are unlikely to earn due respect. Of course, they will willingly go out with you for a smoke break and coffee, discuss some news, but as far as business is concerned, they will not consult with you and will not listen to your opinion. And here you should not be offended, because, as you know, good man- it's not a profession.

2. Knowledge

This should be remembered by young people who are still studying and whose professional success is yet to come. In my student years, I want to do everything, go everywhere, try everything. And how often this happens to the detriment of learning. I just want to tell them all: study while your memory is good and your head thinks perfectly, until you are sat down with household chores and crushed by routine. Knowledge in your specialty general development- the baggage that will allow in the future to take a worthy place in society.

3. Experience

However, knowledge is not everything. As you know, they need to be multiplied by work experience. You become a professional through hard work every day. Be prepared to be a hardworking bee or a stubborn ant and you will earn respect.

4. Ability to take criticism

But professionalism implies not only a set of knowledge and skills, but also certain qualities. For example, the ability to listen to other people's words. And at the same time, do not climb into the bottle, do not feel hurt. It is known that only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

5. Respect others

In order to gain respect for yourself, you need to treat other people with respect. In fact, it is customary to learn this from childhood, in the family. What does it mean to show respect? It means being educated. Listen carefully to the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, show tact and correctness, do not get into the soul, be grateful for the help.

If you constantly encounter disrespect, analyze your actions. Perhaps you, too, allow yourself to do something similar in relation to others. And others just "mirror" your demeanor.

6. Responsibility

For example, they do not keep their word, they do not fulfill their promises. This means that you also allow yourself to promise and not fulfill, which means that you are irresponsible, you cannot be relied upon either. In a relationship, everything is connected. How you treat others is what you get in return.

7. Discipline

And further. There are things that cannot be allowed with impunity. For example, being late for work. Many employees perceive this as a sign of disrespect. It is difficult for everyone to get up in the morning, everyone gets stuck in traffic jams or waits for public transport for a long time, but someone is late, and someone is not. Because he understands that work requires discipline, and he will get up half an hour earlier in order to have time to get ready and come on time.

8. Respect yourself

If you lack self-respect, then it is strange to expect respect from others. Everything is connected here. When is a person? Again, when he acts in a certain way, he shows certain qualities.

9. Self-education

Will the one who can respect himself? A fan of collecting and spreading gossip? What about stalking his colleague? What about the sneak and informer? And the servile one before the authorities? I think the answer is unequivocal: no, of course not. Because such people are quite clearly aware of their own vices and no matter how they justify in own eyes their behavior, they are well aware that they are doing wrong.

Conclusion: self-esteem depends on your actions and feelings. So do not give yourself a descent, do not let bad inclinations take over. Engage in self-education, eradicate bad character traits in yourself. And then you, and therefore others, will have a reason to treat you with respect.

10. Own opinion

Another one feature self-respecting person - he is not afraid. He does not agree with his superiors, does not agree with everyone, just so as not to spoil the relationship. But he does it intelligently, politely, in a non-offensive manner. Moreover, such an employee cannot be called a conflict. This is not conflict, but the desire to always get to the point.

11. Self-sufficiency

In general, a self-respecting person can afford a lot. Sometimes - go against the flow, be not like everyone else. He is not afraid to stand out, because he feels his self-sufficiency. He took place as a person. And such people are respected, they leave the right to be themselves.

Here is an example. Probably, at all jobs there is a tradition to celebrate the birthdays of employees. Not everyone likes it: firstly, it’s expensive, and secondly, it’s somehow strange to celebrate such, one might say, an intimate holiday with people with whom, by and large, chance brought them together. But rarely does anyone dare to express their own attitude to the generally accepted.

So, I know a young man who was not afraid to bend his line and refuse to participate in joint feasts. For several years, especially zealous employees tried to congratulate him. He gratefully listened to congratulations, but resolutely refused envelopes with money and did not cover the "meadow". For several years he had to prove his right to do as he saw fit, until he was finally left behind.

Do you think he became an outcast in the team, a black sheep? Nothing like this. Because he is a self-sufficient person, besides a professional.

12. Appearance

Respect for oneself - and for others - is also manifested in the way a person looks. Neatness, accuracy, observance of the dress code are things that are not discussed ... After all, carelessness in clothes can be perceived as a dismissive attitude towards colleagues. Things like cleanliness, I think, are generally not worth mentioning.

Note to the manager

Everything that we talked about above, of course, will also help the leader who has just taken office and is striving to win the trust and respect of his subordinates. And professionalism, and experience, and certain character traits will play a positive role in this.

First

Immediately establish a certain distance between you and colleagues. No particularly friendly relations with individuals. This will save you from familiarity and unnecessary conflicts. And, in addition, it will give you the right to ask subordinates, encourage and punish.

Second

Third

Help those who need your help. But don't let yourself be manipulated.

Often we experience a flurry of negative emotions due to the lack of a proper attitude towards our own person from those around us.

Instead of recognizing talents and abilities, we have to feel dissatisfaction and ridicule, instead of well-deserved, in our opinion, praise, we have to listen to criticism that is far from constructive. In other words: we dream of respect, but we get indifference or, even worse, we become a victim of humiliation, a witness to the humiliation of our personality. Why is this happening? This question is quite appropriate in such a situation, but the answers to it exist only in the consciousness or unconsciousness of the notorious people around. Therefore, we will look for ways by which we will be able to change our own deplorable situation and, finally, win the respect of our colleagues, friends, and relatives.

Way the first. Follow the "golden rule of communication" wherever you are and with whomever you are.

Let me remind you that it says: always treat others the way you want to be treated. That is, if you crave respect for your own person, start experiencing it in relation to others. What is important here is not “obligation” for the sake of achieving a result, but sincerity. Look for qualities in people worthy of your admiration and respect, focus your attention on them. Then the same will be done by those around you in relation to you. This rule is also called the "law of the boomerang": what you sow, you will reap.

Way second. Celebrate the achievements and abilities of other people, learn to recognize their presence.

Do not skimp on praise, again sincere, rejoice in the successes of others, eradicate envy and anger that usually arise in such cases. Friends, acquaintances, colleagues, relatives will certainly feel your warmth, your kindness, honesty and will answer you in the same way, because they will be imbued with your new philosophy, without noticing it, and will see your virtues and talents.

Way third. Stand out from the crowd.

Individuality is one of the main factors contributing to gaining the respect of other people. This is true for both business and personal relationships. Expand your horizons daily, cultivate positive qualities in yourself, develop intellectually and spiritually. Become an expert in a particular field of knowledge, then others will eventually recognize your competence in specific issues and will increasingly ask for your advice, crave your recommendations, advice. Be sure to find an extraordinary hobby - this will help you express your own personality even more clearly and become more visible.

Way fourth. Never show that you are smarter than everyone.

You should not demonstrate your outstanding knowledge in a particular area, your high IQ everywhere and everywhere. Intrusiveness will not help you start enjoying the sincere respect of others, rather, on the contrary, it will interfere. Do it unobtrusively, as if, by the way, without humiliating or insulting others, without claiming that people recognize your exclusivity. Act wisely, and those around you will not be indebted.

Way fifth. Show mercy and compassion to people.

This is especially true at work, where it is important for each employee to earn the respect of management. Remember: the authorities are loyal to assistants, but not to parasites and individuals suffering from narcissism. Be responsive: if a colleague asks you to explain something to him, to provide a useful service, do not refuse. In the realm of interpersonal relationships, being kind and supporting others will also serve you well. Just do not overstep the bounds: do not waste yourself by getting carried away, otherwise you will turn into a spineless slob, about which everyone who is not lazy wipe their feet - what kind of respect can we talk about here!

Way sixth. Keep your word to the other person.

Under no circumstances do not refuse to fulfill your own promises. Unreliable people who are alien to honesty are not worthy of either trust, much less respect. Always before you make a promise to anyone, think: will you be able to fulfill it? It is better to abandon this idea altogether if you understand that there is a high risk of interference in the process of implementing your plan by third-party factors and various kinds of obstacles. But having given the word, keep it by all means, or find a person who will do it for you at your request.

Way seventh. Stand up for your own positions.

At the same time, be polite, tactful and firm. A person who has his own point of view on everything, ready to defend the latter, at all costs, is always worthy of the respect of others. However, do not go to extremes: if you see that the argument has dragged on and strives to turn into a grandiose scandal, leave the place of the verbal battle. So you will demonstrate to your opponent your peacefulness and at the same time remain unconvinced.

Finally, eighth method: be yourself.

Do not try to imitate the personalities for whom you have respect, copy their merits, achievements, behaviors. In pursuit of someone else's disguise and inner world, you invariably lose your own face, your "I". After all, you want to earn respect for YOURSELF, which means there is no better way than to be yourself and no one else. It is an art, but anyone can master it.

Why do you need it? Yes, in general, there is no need. Millions of men live excellently next to women who do not put them in a penny, and do not really worry about this. It’s even convenient for them: being in the eternal role of gouging an irresponsible, untidy piggy and God’s punishment of a wide range of actions, you can throw off the lion’s share of tedious partner duties.

Another thing is that women who respect their partners feel much happier, calmer and more secure. There is even wisdom like this: “Do you want to be happy? Stand straight before the king, bow before God, kneel before your husband.

* - Note Phacochoerus "a Funtik:
« Not in that sense unfortunately.»

But in order to put this ancient covenant into practice, they, the poor fellows, need an appropriate husband, because in front of a hamster, let's say, you can even kneel down, even crawl like a plastun, but look at him with a happy look from the bottom up still will not work.

In couples, let's say, primitively thinking, the issue was resolved simply. It was enough to hit the missus with a stone on the top of her head to put everything in its place. Now this method works only in very specific populations.

Husband-adviser, husband-protector, husband-teacher, husband-ideal, in an effort to catch up with which ladies work hard on themselves - this is the archetype that even the most notorious feminists recognize, although they never admit it out loud.

From there, all these endless checks on us for lice. Capricious, arranging scenes, behaving illogically, women subconsciously test you for strength. And I must say, very often we brilliantly fail these tests. Although in order for a girl to have respect for you (even if carefully hidden), it is not at all necessary to be a hybrid of Schwarzenegger and Academician Sakharov. It is enough to take into service, for example, at least some of the following points.

1. Don't scream

Even newborn kittens know how to raise their voices at opponents, so the ability to make loud noises in moments of excitement does not at all give you weight. Representatives of our species use the cry in order to: a) call other members of the pack for help; b) bring yourself into a sufficiently excited state, preparing to repulse the enemy; c) scare the enemy.

Therefore, screaming is a sign of weakness, a sign that you are almost losing control over the situation, for which you are already attracting the last reserves.

Children scream more than women, women scream more than men. Very strong men don't raise their voices at all. Because they don't need to.

Irina:
« As for Yaroslav, everything became clear to me when, after dinner, he took me home. In the car, he squealed like a woman at everyone who cut him off, overtook him, slowed down in the wrong place or turned the wrong way. And if, getting into the car, I thought about what to answer him if he wants to come up to my house, then, getting out of it, I knew for sure that this dinner was our last meeting»

2. Don't be petty

It's not just about scandals with waiters holding 49 rubles in change. Pettiness is the readiness to attack with heavy weapons for the most insignificant reason. A man who so mediocrely wastes his time, strength and energy, women suspect (often quite reasonably) that he weakly aims at larger goals.

Pauline:
« After Vladik told me that he took revenge on his former friend by flooding his car with some rubbish, I immediately realized that something was wrong with the guy. I ask: "Why did you do it?" - "What why?" - “You told him everything you think about him, broke off the relationship. So why did you waste paint then? Or do you think that a clean car was more precious to him than your friendship? You value yourself cheaply!” And then, of course, it turned out that he joined the party, because he was “ordered”, and he is a coward of the first order, and in front of the authorities he does his pants - everything is as I thought»

3. Envy the right way

Envy is a great tool that makes us compete with each other and, therefore, push the wheel of world progress. Unfortunately, some people are driven by envy not to run faster than their neighbor, but to look for ways to make their neighbor stop running so fast (and preferably forever). Such envy is almost openly manifested in phrases like “He, like all Jews, is cunning” or “You can’t make money on such a car, only if you steal.” Such phrases always have an inaudible continuation for our interlocutors: “And I am stupid and inactive” or “At least if I work the way I work.”

Envying someone out loud is like signing your own worthlessness, because in this way you admit that: a) you want something that your opponent has; b) unable to achieve his goal. Envy does not cause respect in women. Not women, however, too.

Better make it so that they envy you, and at the same time her. First of all, do not be stingy and give her good perfume - so everyone will know that she has a generous and attentive gentleman. Suspecting that you are a complete zero in perfumery, we give you a tip: the new fragrance EAU DE LACOSTE L.12.12 Magnetic Pour Elle will be an excellent choice - light, feminine, sensual. And for yourself, save the men's EAU DE LACOSTE L.12.12 Magnetic Pour Lui. These two fragrances share a violet note. Yes, we know that you don’t care about these things, but you’ll see: in her eyes you will instantly become a romantic with an excellent sense of taste, and as a bonus, she will receive pleasant compliments from her friends addressed to you “how cute he is, how touching it is” and clapping hands.

4. Do not rush to judge anyone

5 ungentlemanly tricks

Dishonest ways to earn respect should also be treated with respect.
1 Introducing her to friends, persuade them to demonstrate their admiration for you in every possible way. With you then beer.

2 Print out a couple of thanks for saving the drowning, buy a diploma of the winner of the intellectual martial arts tournament in the subway and casually put it somewhere where she will certainly find it. Answer questions: “Yes, this is such nonsense that it’s not worth talking about it!” And do not say.

3 Discussing the exploits of all sorts of martyrs such as Mucius Scaevola, St. Andrew or Khodorkovsky, do not forget to hint that you would have done the same in their place. Even if you know for sure you don't.

4 Get drunk and ask her a thousand times "Do you respect me?", demanding affirmative answers. Saying aloud some statement, we often begin to believe in it ourselves.

Eastern wisdom says that the enemy must be chosen more carefully than the friend. A man who easily labels those around him as “goat”, “idiot”, “scoundrel” and so on causes the ladies to have a fair suspicion that he is not really ready to fight with anyone, and his anger and contempt do not mean anything .

5. Admit others are right

It's very hard to admit that you were wrong. Weak people never do this. Even when they are asked directly: “Well, now you admit that you were wrong?” - at best, they laugh and change the subject, or start looking for ridiculous excuses, which, in turn, causes irritation and a dismissive attitude among the interlocutors. At strong people their gigantic reserve of self-respect is not diminished by the recognition of the fact that somewhere they were mistaken. For this reason, they do not have such problems.

6. Feel sorry for yourself silently

There are times when it is simply necessary to resort to such a powerful tool as the sympathy of loved ones. But normal loved ones will understand when you need it. Especially women, usually so generous with this feeling. There is no need to stimulate female pity with tearful stories about how you are not loved, not appreciated, offended. Yes, and mosquitoes bitten! Till blood!!!

You can pity and respect a person at the same time, but not when he insistently demands to comfort himself over trifles.

Evgenia:
« I met a businessman at a party. Rich and famous, recently divorced, by the way. So, this adult uncle, for fifty dollars, ate all the baldness to me by talking about the fact that his life was not successful, his ex-wife is a bitch, people are goats, there is no peace of mind, as they say. And I sit and think: “You healthy forehead, who taught you to lure women like that? You have a yacht, loot, power, in the end, and here you are snotty don Juan Kleenex! Has no one explained to you that women are attracted to strength, success and self-confidence? And we simply select those who are offended out of compassion, like garbage pigeons, but we also cheat on them at the first opportunity.»

7. Know how to do something really cool

It’s cool, of course, to be a great cellist, surgeon or mathematician, but the ability, say, to skillfully cut sausage into the thinnest slices, whistle brilliantly with two fingers or shuffle cards like a real croupier, also does not hurt. Respect for professionalism in women is even more developed than in men.

8. Don't be silent when she does mean things

What is good and what is bad, we learn so firmly in childhood that, even if experience makes significant adjustments to “it’s a shame to offend the little ones,” etc., we still always know the true price of our actions. So, if you become indifferently silent at the moment when your girlfriend is cheerfully telling you how they are bullying the new girl for a terrible nail design by the whole department or how she did not return the money to the cashier who cheated, your silence will be regarded as complicity in this trick. And, therefore, in the depths of her soul she will consider you a heartless swindler, since it is much easier for us to condemn another person than ourselves. We do not call on you to make fiery re-educational speeches - it will be enough if you simply say that you do not like it all, because it is not good to do so. Even if she pouts now, she will put aside the thought that you are a decent and worthy person on a special shelf.

Sweet cooing between lovers can take the most different forms. Very often, our species practices the so-called “nuptial feeding” ritual, when one of the partners simulates the behavior of the cub, and the second - the parent. The presence of such a ritual in our sexual program is due to all sorts of important ethological reasons, but we would recommend that you exclude it from your menu. All these "pussies want a goose" and "pussies will be kushanki and spatki", pronounced in squeaky voices, are quite appropriate in the ladies' repertoire. But when a man uses them, he gives the woman who is in love with him a rush of maternal feelings, which are beautiful and all, but, alas, have very little to do with respect. Someday you will get out of bed, and the desire to spank you and check the cleanliness of your ears with a girl can remain forever.

Catherine:
« Okay, when a man lisps, turning to me - it's even funny. But when he starts talking about himself entirely in diminutive suffixes, it's ridiculous. On the other hand, when problems start in our family life, I just remember that for ten years now I have had the happiness of being married to “poor Dimasik”, I wave my hand at everything and resolve the difficulties myself»

A very common response to swear words in all languages ​​of the world is “I am like that!”. That is, a person defined as, say, a bog aphid does not at all seek to immediately prove to his opponent that he does not belong to the aphid superfamily.

No, he usually reacts, saying that he hears it from the same aphid, from the wet-footed booger, from the senseless fungus. This is a normal defensive reaction. Just as in a real battle a falling fighter tries not so much to get on his feet as to drag his opponent to the floor, so in a verbal battle a humiliated one seeks to drag the offender aloud or silently along with him. The more often you humiliate her, the lower you fall in her eyes, even if you are always right in everything, but she is not. Her subconscious will try to protect the self-esteem of the mistress, reducing you to the level of microscopic muck, whose assessments can be ignored because of their insignificance. Condemn, if necessary, not her own, but her actions: she can abstract from them and perceive your criticism reasonably.

11. Don't tell her about your sex life.

A rich sexual experience, in principle, usually does not harm a man in women's eyes. But only on one condition: you do not spread about it. The ability to keep a secret what happens in the bedroom inspires respect in women, and your secrecy in this matter will intrigue, but not offend her. In addition, women also consider the ability to control their desires and not be too driven by the reproductive instinct to be a respectable masculine property. So the image of a playboy-athlete is more likely to disappoint them than the image of a “man with a lot of survivors” so beloved by novelists.

Lelya:
« I really liked my friend's lover, I even envied her - until she told me with laughter that he had a notebook in which he wrote down the names of all the women he slept with from his youth. He even gives them marks with pluses and minuses! Since then, it has been held under the code name "accountant"»

Asking for help is in itself a payment for our subconscious mind for this help. Therefore, unexpected help is perceived internally with much greater gratitude, even if we are talking about the perfect trifle like changing a light bulb or zipping up your back.

Milan:
« My boyfriend is a gamer, he got me hooked on online games too. I remember, with my first character, I painfully tried to break through a herd of evil spiders in order to pick the flower I needed, and then such a sparkling something falls from the sky! Once - and instead of spiders, some miserable corpses are lying around. It was Alyosha who decided to visit me in the game. And I was simply amazed: what admiration I experienced at that moment! I had to get up from the computer, go to his room and express my gratitude with the means available to me ... By the way, while we were doing this, the spiders resurrected and ate me»

13. Respect yourself

It is very difficult to respect a person who does not respect himself. There are a lot of such people: they love themselves, cherish, pity - anything, but do not respect. Because they know for sure: nothing.

By the way, self-respect does not mean talking about yourself in the third person with a respectful aspiration. To respect yourself, it is enough to follow only two rules:
a) do not do things that you yourself evaluate as dishonorable, even if everyone does it and it is convenient, safe and pleasant;
b) if you know that it will be right to do something, do it even if you don’t feel like it and no one will appreciate it anyway.

« If you want to be respected, first and foremost - respect yourself; Only by self-respect can you make others respect you.», -
Fedor Dostoevsky.

Do you feel proper respect for yourself? Or do your loved ones underestimate you? Listed below are 12 ways to earn the respect of others.

1. Know how to stand up for yourself and for others.

They can even bully adults. If you see someone (or you) being mistreated, don't be silent. Let the offenders know that this behavior is unacceptable. You don't have to be an indifferent observer.

2. Answer, don't react.

Following your feelings is very good, but it is unlikely that someone will call an instant reaction to one or another emotional stimulus wise. Do not respond to something in moments of anger or confusion. Give yourself time to process your feelings and respond appropriately.

3. Say "no" more often.

Know your limits because resources like energy, money and time are always limited. Designate important things for yourself and direct your energy to them, abandoning everything else. Do not overdo it in your desire to please everyone at once.

4. Don't waste other people's time.

You need to be prepared for every meeting. Avoid excessive chatter. Stick to the topic of conversation and try to make sure that such meetings are always shorter than planned.

5. Know your moral principles and stick to them.

Think carefully about your moral principles. What do you really believe? What is important to you? What is sacred to you and what is not? Be precise in these answers and do your best to live up to your beliefs.

6. Respect the moral principles of other people.

Even if you don't agree with the other person's beliefs, still support them. For example, don't try to force a vegetarian to eat a piece of meat. Nobody likes it when someone tries to force something on them.

7. Be kind and treat everyone equally.

No one respects a man who sucks up to his boss but treats a taxi driver like trash. Remember that we are all people with equal rights, and we are all important.

8. Stand your ground.

Do not underestimate the importance of your ideas and needs. Stand up for your position. Be kind and listen to what people say, but don't rely on them out of habit. If you disagree with something, say it. People appreciate sincerity.

9. Don't gossip.

Gossip is fun. And it is also a manifestation of frivolity and makes people suffer. By spreading gossip, you openly show that you do not respect the feelings and privacy of others.

10. Be confident in your apologies.

Ask for forgiveness only if you feel guilty about yourself. Don't say how sorry you are if you really aren't. Your apology must always be sincere and thoughtful, and your word- mean something.

11. Keep your promises.

If you promise to come somewhere, then come there on time. Show people that you are reliable, that you can be trusted, and that you respect other people's plans.