Absolute calm is the state of our body, which is considered to be the norm. With it, a person is relaxed, can fully control himself, adequately assess the situation, comprehend what is happening and make informed decisions. Not all people have such calmness, especially in non-standard life situations, including during communication. Thus, the question arises, how to stop being nervous when communicating and learn to control yourself? Our tips will help solve this problem.

The words "no need to be nervous" are good for bringing a person into a normal state of rabies.
Stas Yankovsky

Where does nervousness come from?

Nervousness occurs when irritants appear. They can be different, but as soon as they begin to affect a person, the latter loses concentration and all his mental and physical energy is turned towards these very stimuli, which switch all attention to themselves.

At the same time, a priori, nervous excitement cannot be considered a 100% deviation from the norm. On the contrary, it is necessary for a person to recognize positive or negative situations in life and react to them or avoid them. But since it can be difficult and uncomfortable to stop being nervous in communication, it is important to be able to get rid of tension.

The response to nerve stimuli must always be adequate. If nervousness is excessive, then it already becomes a serious problem. Nervous tension turns into stress, and entails serious consequences on the mental and physiological level.

For whom is excessive nervousness dangerous?

Young people are most susceptible to nervousness, because their psyche is not yet able to cope with everyday stresses. But even at a young age, there are people who are easier and easier to endure problem situations, and there are those whose nervous system is overly vulnerable. It is this category of people who most often experiences problems in relationships with other people, communication, self-realization.

Communication is a fundamental process in the formation of a personality, a necessary condition for any development. That is why excessive nervousness and embarrassment in communicating with others is a serious problem, due to which misunderstanding arises, the inability to concentrate on the subject of discussion, the lack of satisfaction from the conversation and, as a result, the narrowing of the circle of communication.

At an early age, this situation is seen as natural, but over time, if the problem persists, the difficulties are aggravated and the person cannot harmoniously integrate into society, realize himself, develop. That is why it is important to take care of reducing nervousness, up to completely getting rid of it.

Why do we get nervous when communicating?

The reasons for this condition may be different. Nervousness appears when we are just making an acquaintance and do not know the person with whom we are to communicate. There is a natural situation of fear of being rejected or misunderstood.

This moment of nervous excitement lasts only for a while, until we get used to a stranger and determine common interests. If for some people this slightest stress can pass completely without a trace, then people with a more vulnerable psyche continue to perceive a person with some apprehension and this becomes an obstacle in conversation.

The next reason for nervousness may be the status of the person with whom you should communicate. If we have to talk with the boss, a strict father, a man or woman for whom we do not feel sympathy. Each of them causes you certain emotions - irritants that can lead to tension, fear or embarrassment.

How to stop being nervous?

Of course, no one will give you a universal recipe for how to stop being nervous when communicating. If there is a problem, then it is necessary to deal with it comprehensively and understand the cause. Often it lies precisely in the fact that a person is afraid of being misunderstood or rejected.

A self-sufficient, self-confident person who knows how to listen and also knows how to clearly convey his thoughts to the interlocutor, no matter what he may be, will certainly never encounter the problem of nervousness during communication. That is why you need to work on yourself, be open to other people and expand your circle of acquaintances in order to gain experience in various situations in communication and be able to respond to them.

It is also important to be able to evoke positive emotions in the interlocutor and are not afraid to be misunderstood or rejected. In this case, you can safely communicate on various topics without experiencing any difficulties at all and without being subjected to any stress. Well, if any arise, then you either stop communicating with the person, or reduce it to a minimum.

It is important to understand that we cannot please everyone without exception. Some people are more active in communication, more open and interested in new acquaintances, while others are closed and prefer to discuss less.

A few rules to help reduce nervousness:

• With whomever you have to communicate, always remember the purpose of the conversation.
• Know how to listen to the interlocutor and always give him the opportunity to speak.
• Find something in common and try to show a sincere interest in the area of ​​​​the interlocutor's life that is somehow interesting to you.
• Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if you don't know what to ask.
• Be attentive to topics that are incomprehensible to you and even more unpleasant, no matter how much you want to succeed in communicating with the person you need.
• Never impose on people who do not show any initiative in communication.

Work on yourself

Always be prepared to communicate. In order to enjoy communication, you yourself must have enough interests, comprehensively developed. By reducing the number of topics you do not understand, you can easily find the subject of discussion and talk with people of different ages. This way, there will be no place for nervousness, and you will be able to calmly share your knowledge.

Do not allow empty talk, chatter and gossip. Try to share knowledge, experience, ideas. If a person is pleasant to you and your sympathy is mutual, unrest and embarrassment during communication will disappear. Take advantage of this!

Video: How to overcome fears in communication?

How to stop being shy

Shyness in one way or another is characteristic of every person. However, if your shyness is a stable character trait, and, moreover, interferes with you, then you need to immediately start fighting it. Otherwise, such increased shyness can lead to the fact that your life plans may be violated.

First of all, you need to deal with the reasons for your shyness. Think about what you don’t like about yourself, and what caused you to be embarrassed? No matter how difficult the problem is, it is solvable. If it's up to you appearance- it's easier than ever. Change your wardrobe and hairstyle.

If it is a matter of mild speech defects, then only a specialist will help you cope with this. If you consider yourself a boring conversationalist (or, worse, they tell you about it in plain text), then reading can help you - stay up to date with the news, and it will be much easier for you.

If you don’t see any direct reason for shyness, then most likely you are just used to considering yourself shy. Here a kind of psychological “fitting” on yourself the image of a self-confident person can help you. Start to lead confidently and openly at home. Practice walking. Give a speech (you can do it yourself, there are a lot of tutorials on the net). Over time, you will feel that you are able to behave just as confidently around others.

You can take for yourself as an example one of your acquaintances, if you consider his behavior to be rather relaxed. Carefully study how this person behaves in various situations, and try to copy his behavior - you certainly don’t need to be ashamed of this. This is the case when imitation will only benefit you.

Video: How to stop being nervous? 10 proven ways

There is another psychological technique. Find an even more closed person than you, and try to lead over him. That is, to become his leader, who will help him become more confident. This practice will help you to become more confident in yourself and to pull up your friend.

Another method is to imagine the most negative consequences of your own actions (or inaction). What is so terrible that will happen if you are refused or rude? Get ready for things to go wrong and relax about it. In the end, acceptance will help you deal with resentment more easily, and you will become more confident in yourself.

Do you often worry over trifles? Even if these are important periods in life, getting upset and winding yourself up is not the best behavior at this time. How can you still calm down and stop being nervous? Does this question cross your mind? Further in the article you will find secret tricks from practicing psychologists with extensive experience on how to learn this.

• Try to get distracted

This method is great when you have nowhere to run. You are in a trap that drives you crazy. It's like a zoo cage for a wild animal. In a person's life, for example, this is at a working meeting, where the leader decided to scold you with or without reason.

You can’t really do anything in such a situation: leaving by slamming the door is not an option if you value your workplace, and even if you start an argument and start making excuses, it won’t end well. Therefore, gather all your strength into a fist and find something that can mentally distract you.

For example, consider what other employees are wearing. Do these things suit them or do they look better in what they were wearing yesterday?

• Leave the environment that excites

On the contrary, if there is such a possibility, then The best way to calm down is to get out of an annoying situation. Did something hurt you at a party with friends, visiting your parents, or were you just browsing the Internet and stumbled upon a blatantly unfair comment?

The best thing you can do is get up to say goodbye and leave or close the page. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. When we move away from any factor, regardless of whether it affects us positively or negatively, we cool off towards it.

• Drink a glass of water

When a person becomes ill, the first thing they offer him is a glass of water. Have you ever wondered why a glass of water? Water has healing properties for our body. The norm of water consumption per day is 2 liters for an adult.

But few people follow this rule. Therefore, there is dehydration of the body. But usually, since Everyday life we do not listen to our body, no one notices the signs of dehydration.

In general, water is a cure for both physical and mental ailments. It starts the process of self-rehabilitation in the body.

• Physical exercises

Many people already know about this method. No wonder people go in for sports instead of drinking alcohol or cigarettes to relieve stress. And by the way, he's a great help. This also includes cleaning the house, hand washing clothes, working in the garden, sorting out the rubble of household rubbish, walking on foot.

• contact with water

Even such a simple procedure as washing dishes can relax your tension. Flowing clean water that makes the dishes clean associates that your thoughts become cleaner. All the bad thoughts that made you nervous go away. It is also suitable to take a shower, bath, go to the bathhouse, sauna or swim in the river, the sea.

• Do something interesting

To stop chasing thoughts in your head, it’s enough to come up with an exciting activity for yourself. What are you interested in? Are you crazy about reading detective stories? Or do you like to cook delicious gourmet dishes? Anything that can shift your attention from an annoying situation to a positive direction will do.

Case from practice:

Oksana, tell us more about your problem

I don't know how to stop worrying. It starts because of any nonsense, and if the reason is serious, then I’m only sitting on valerian ... The therapist wrote out a sedative during the delivery of state educational standards and a diploma. But it almost did not help, only the pills made me sleepy.

Oksana had a pronounced predisposition to a nervous state. As a result of hard work, now she has become a different person.

Thanks to my psychologist. I learned to abstract from my experiences, and music lessons helped me in this. Since childhood, she dreamed of playing the piano, but only now has she realized it.

• Review the situation in a positive way

Nervousness causes us only negative. At work, there is no time to take a legal break, and even if you have to stay late without extra pay, your passion has cooled down and stopped paying attention. In short, many such examples can be cited.

But if you think even deeper, you can find at least a drop of positive in everything. For example, in work, you get precious experience that money can't buy. And even if you cannot work with a normal schedule in this company, there is always the opportunity to get a job in another, since you already have a wealth of knowledge and practical skills.

The fact that the sweetheart no longer wears it is, of course, a painful event, but on the other hand, this is a chance for you to shake things up and change everything, to renew your warm relationship. If it does not work out, then this is simply not your person and there is nothing to waste time with him.

• There are many people who are really bad

This is a great way. If you master this skill to change your thoughts, then over time you will be much less worried about trifles. There are starving children in poor countries, there are orphans who grew up without parental love and affection, there are people with disabilities who are unable to take care of themselves. And you're not all that bad, are you?

• Use the power of humor

Laughter makes our existence easier and more enjoyable. And what if you are afraid to make an important report in front of a large audience?

There is absolutely no point in worrying about it. Instead, think about how funny it would be if everyone in the audience was sitting in pajamas or in even more ridiculous outfits. This approach will definitely reduce the percentage of your anxiety.

• To calm down you need to cry ...

If laughter does not help, then cry ... Tears well relieve nervous strain. Come out with the water harmful substances from the body resulting from stress.

There are people for whom it is not so easy to start crying, even if the situation is deplorable. In this case, think about how unhappy you are. In colors, mentally describe to yourself the whole tragedy of the current picture.

• Start counting sheep

This is a familiar way to fall asleep with insomnia. But it is also effective if you just need to relax. Count either sheep, or just up to 10, 50, 100. Slowly, inhaling deeply and exhaling.

• Tell me about your grief

It seems like empty chatter can help? But it really does help. If you do not have an interlocutor who listens to all your complaints with dignity and patience, then just say everything that boiled out loud for yourself. Or another option - write on paper.

• Being nervous is just a habit

To begin with, in order to learn how to cope with shattered nerves, we must understand that this is only our habit of reacting to everything in this way. Or in extreme cases, problems with the nervous system. But both the first and second are easier to deal with than you might imagine.

The first step is to understand the nature of tension. When our hands are sweating and shaking, our voice is trembling, our head is spinning and other signs of anxiety, concentration decreases and we become unable to adequately perceive the situation, to respond normally to what is happening. Therefore, it is natural to want to get rid of such behavior.

Nerves are just our reaction to events that we don’t really like. And you can react in different ways! And what reaction to choose is up to you. Or at least learn to choose. It is quite realistic for each person to minimize the predisposition to restless motives.

What are some of the things you usually get nervous about? Do they really threaten your life and is it worth it to be so upset even if we assume the worst possible outcome? Most often, our experiences are not worth a damn. Therefore, perhaps it is not worth worrying in vain?

How to stop worrying about trifles?

Are you late for work? Stuck in a traffic jam? Broken heel? But life doesn't end there, does it? :) Think about your global plans, dreams and goals. Isn't this very auspicious morning significant in the history of your life? Correct: NO! That's why you shouldn't focus on it.

Calming down before the exam without pills

Do you have an important event coming up: an exam, a wedding or a diploma defense? This is exactly the moment when you have to start training not to succumb to your excitement.

That's because you have such a responsible event ahead of you, that's why you need to control yourself. After all, if you are calm, then everything will go like clockwork. And if you succumb to anxiety, then only because of this you will screw everything up.

First imagine the worst that could happen. It seems not so scary, even if it happens? You will still be alive and well. Represented? Now set yourself up for success. How it goes is up to you and no one else. And you can! For this, breathing exercises will be listed below.

1. Breathe in, counting to 4
2. Hold your breath for 2 counts
3. Exhale for 4
4. Don't breathe on 2 counts
5. Then again in a circle

If you can hold your breath for longer, then double the intervals. It is necessary to breathe not with the chest, but with the stomach. Breathing in and out with the stomach calms down the heartbeat, which speeds up at the moment of anxiety. If you do this, then after a couple of minutes you will feel that you were able to relieve irritation.

How to behave in an important meeting

If you still can’t pull yourself together for real, try to portray calmness. This simple exercise will help you achieve inner peace too. No wonder they say to improve your mood, start smiling through force. And then you will notice after a while that you really want to smile, and today is not so bad.

Watch your behavior. How do you usually behave when you are worried? Fingering a handkerchief, biting your nails? This kind of behavior should never happen. Start to control yourself - thus concentrate on yourself. And concentration will already give you peace of mind.

Do not hurry. Even if you are late, do not panic and rush. This will throw you off balance again. It just seems that if you start to hurry, you will gain time. In fact, you may win a little, but you can say goodbye to calmness.

After meeting

But if I said so... It was necessary to do so... Throw these thoughts out of your head. The moment has already passed and it makes no sense to return to it. After all, nothing can be changed. Spend your time on more useful things.

The best way to stop being nervous is not to create reasons for it.

You ask, do I create them myself? In many cases, this is exactly what happens. Let's take a simple example. The student does nothing from session to session, as they say, lives happily. But when the time comes for exams and tests, he has a hard time. And the stress begins such that some can not stand it.

But if he approached this issue with his head, he could neutralize the impending troubles. After all, if a person is prepared, then armed. This does not mean at all that we are talking about everyone becoming nerdy nerds and not crawling out of the library.

But about a reasonable distribution of time and at least some preparation between sessions. This principle will help you not only increase your resistance to stress, but also achieve greater success in life.

After parting

Breaking up with a significant other is one of the most difficult times in anyone's life. And here it is already not easy enough to take it into your own hands and not worry. The state is such that the soil is leaving from under your feet, you feel like a bear in the rain from a nursery rhyme ...

Depression sets in and a desire to hide from the whole world, hide in a corner, fall asleep and not wake up until a more joyful period in life. But you can survive any trouble, and that's what we'll do now.

• Stop blaming yourself for everything

Especially women, but also men, after a breakup, begin to blame themselves for everything. To think that they all did wrong was not wise and understanding enough. In general, everything is spoiled. Of course, you have your share of responsibility for this. But the partner also put his efforts into this. Therefore, stop slandering yourself, torment yourself with remorse for yourself and breathe deeply and freely. What happened cannot be changed, but a useful lesson can be learned from this.

• Start life with a new leaf, cross out everything old from life and throw out his things

When the first wave of heartache subsides, start thinking about a new life. As a symbol of this undertaking, use the rite of destruction of the memory of a former loved one. It sounds a little creepy, but this is a necessary step in order to free up space in the apartment and head for new achievements.

• Rethink your goals

It's time to rethink your vision of life and yourself in it. What are your goals? Do you want to start a family or develop a business, advance in your career? What comes first for you. Or you want to be a freelance traveler and travel around the world. The sooner you decide, the easier it will be for you to make new friends.

More details about

Before bedtime

There are several ways to get rid of insomnia and obsessive thoughts before bedtime:

1. Turn on relaxing music (for meditation or classical)
2. Do some yoga stretching exercises
3. Try exhaling through the left nostril. It helps to relax the sympathetic nervous system and, at the same time, brain function.
4. If you are not allowed to sleep peacefully annoying thoughts and experiences, then try to write them all down on paper. Do it in as much detail as possible, then when you go to bed, they will let you go.
5. Get some exercise or take a walk before bed.
6. Meditate. Concentrate on your inhalations and exhalations, or imagine putting your obsessive negative thoughts in a trash bag, and your consciousness is freed from the load.
7. Take a bath with the addition of aromatic oils of lavender and chamomile.
8. Read poetry from memory. It will distract you from bad thoughts.

During pregnancy

The mental attitude is the most important component of all methods of dealing with the nervousness of a pregnant woman. The expectant mother must understand the responsibility for her child. You should not be worried about problems and troubles that do not concern your position. Let the whole world wait until you give birth to a healthy baby. In the meantime, there is a husband and other relatives who can deal with everyday problems.

Limit the viewing of negative information - also quite an important part. A lot of negative news is pouring on us from TV, radio and other media. Your task is to stop all this. Since this will definitely not add a positive attitude and calmness.

Foot massage is a very useful procedure for women during the period of expectation of a child. After all, there is a big load on the legs, and the massage itself relaxes well.

Herbal teas with a calming effect are what a pregnant woman needs. You can use chamomile, sage, valerian, motherwort, mint.

Vitamins - It's no secret that vitamin deficiency can cause stress and mental disorders, especially when you need to replenish the complex of vitamins for two.

Physical activity in moderation is great for relieving nervous anxiety. Yoga for pregnant women can be done right up to the very birth.

Drawing is a way of relieving stress that few people are familiar with. But despite this, it is very effective. Even if you are far from Picasso, try to express your mood in a drawing. And you will be pleasantly surprised.

Preparing for the birth of a child
Start buying the necessary things for the future baby, or even knit your own booties or hats. This activity will distract you from sad thoughts and direct you in a positive direction.

So, here are some super-killer ways to calm down and stop being nervous. Just gotta start using them. If your situation is a little more complicated and you need the help of a specialist, then welcome! On the online psychologist consultations you will always be helped and prompted the right and shortest way to solve the problem.

A serious conversation with loved ones, a speech in front of a large crowd of people, a report to the authorities on the work done, passing an exam - these and other events often make a person “sweat”. All people are subject to excitement, regardless of training, gender and age. A purely psychological feeling is emotional experience that cloud the mind. A person cannot think and take any action. This begs the question of how to deal with anxiety.

What causes anxiety

• low self-esteem;
• lack of confidence in their professionalism;
• weakness in the limbs, shortness of breath;
• inappropriate behavior in public (loss of self-control);
• severe stress and, as a result, prolonged depression;
• loss of appetite;
• complete deconcentration, disorientation;
• negative result in solving a specific problem.

Anxiety Control Exercises

1. When a person is worried, his breathing is stuttered, and his heart rate jumps to heaven. Try to calm down. Take a few long breaths in and out with your eyes closed. Try to perform the manipulations slowly and confidently at the same pace. You should not inflate your cheeks or hold your breath, the diaphragm should open completely.
2. You need to move. Run the windmill with your hands or wave them from side to side. Some public figures massage their hands when they are nervous before performing. Do the same when shaking the lower extremities (massage of the feet and calves).
3. Often, uncontrollable excitement occurs due to a large release of hormones into the blood. To bring the indicator to the optimal mark, gently pat yourself on the chest with your palm. Activation of the thymus gland will allow you to calm down faster by controlling hormonal disruptions.
4. People who are very nervous before speaking behind the podium should get a small item. It is important that no one notices this thing during the speech. Touch the keychain (pen, lighter, paper clip, piece of cloth, etc.) in your hands. Thus, you will calm your thoughts and translate them into a different direction.
5. If there is an important event on the nose for which there is no time to prepare, set aside 2-5 minutes for a little trick. For a given period, rise first on your toes, then slowly lower. Then roll your shoulders clockwise and counterclockwise. Alternate limb movements.
6. When the excitement caught you by surprise right during serious negotiations, being at the table, begin to bend and unbend your toes. Try to focus on the sensations received by transferring your thoughts there. You can also squeeze your earlobes with all your might, the main thing is that your manipulation is invisible.
7. An agitated person looks constrained before a performance or other serious event. Muscles do not seem to obey, so they need to be made to work. If your legs are trembling, do 10-20 squats. In the case of hands - push up from the floor or bench. It will not be superfluous to swing the press and other physical exercises that can distract the body.

Method number 1. Get ready for the event

1. Often, excitement takes people by surprise who are poorly prepared for the upcoming event. If you have a solemn speech, report or speech coming up soon, collect the necessary materials and literally memorize them.
2. Rehearse in front of a mirror until you like yourself. Then gather friends or strangers (even better), speak to them and ask for an objective assessment.
3. Think over your image in advance, namely makeup, hairstyle, clothes, shoes. You must look 100% perfect. Do not forget to foresee incidents (torn tights, smudged mascara, bad writing pen, etc.).
4. If you are soon giving a speech in front of a wide audience and then giving answers, think in advance of the possible questions that people will ask. Your answers should be short but to the point, and your speech should be confident and professional.

Method number 2. Remember past victories

1. In most cases, anxiety comes from low self-esteem and remembering defeats in the past. However, you need to go from the other side.
2. Take a piece of paper and write down all your strengths. Do not forget to mention your victories (thesis defense with excellent marks, self-examination for rights, obtaining a prestigious position, etc.). Awareness of your own professionalism will instantly save you from excitement.
3. Analyze past situations. Surely you were also worried before, but everything went well. So it is this time. Anxiety only confuses you, preventing you from focusing on the main thing. Say to yourself: “I will succeed!”, “I am confident and strong in what I do!”.

Method number 3. Boost your self-esteem

1. Unsure of themselves and their own abilities, people often worry about anything. To get rid of emotional discomfort, you need to love yourself.
2. Raise your self-esteem in any way possible. Sign up for a gym, attend courses personal growth, overcome bad habits.
3. Enlist the support of loved ones who will objectively evaluate your behavior. With each increase in self-esteem, excitement will disappear.

Method number 4. Pause before the main speech

1. This method will help to cope with excitement in cases where hands and feet tremble before a conversation (a solemn speech, performance, etc.). Don't start talking right away, wait 10-15 seconds.
2. The specified period of time is necessary in order to "collect yourself together." If you start talking right away, your thoughts will be confused, disordered.
3. A pause will help build a logical chain and partially relieve excitement. That way you won't forget the speech you've been preparing for so long. Control your breathing, it should be even, without jumps.

Method number 5. Don't be afraid to make a mistake

1. Often there are times when a person's hands begin to tremble for the most ridiculous reasons. On a subconscious level, all people who speak soon are afraid of making a mistake.
2. It is important to understand that the audience will not throw eggs at you if you forget a word or drop your pen. Every person is not perfect, accept this statement.
3. From now on, think differently. Keep in mind that a small mistake won't get you fired unless you directly call your boss an "asshole".
4. Throughout a serious conversation or presentation, imagine shaved lambs trying to jump up a tree. Or make up another funny fantasy for yourself.

Prepare thoroughly for the event, learn the psychological methods of dealing with anxiety. Go in for sports, believe in your own strength, increase self-esteem. Watch your breath, do not be afraid to make mistakes, remember past victories. Prepare a small thing that you can touch in your hands to normalize the psycho-emotional background.

Video: 5 effective ways to deal with anxiety

Are you often nervous? Lose your temper for any reason and for nothing? Do you dream of strengthening the nervous system, but do not know how?

Then this article is exactly for you.

Today we'll talk about how to stop being nervous without the use of such "sedatives" as alcohol, pills and other legal and not very drugs.

When do we get nervous?

Usually a person tends to get nervous and "lose his temper" not only in responsible and important life moments for him, but simply for any reason.

Excessive nervousness and a tendency to various kinds of experiences are associated both with the peculiarities of our nervous system and with psychological personality traits: insecurity, shyness, a heightened sense of responsibility.

Human civilization has reached a level of development when we are not threatened by daily danger, so the reason for excessive nervousness without serious reasons is more of a psychological and social nature: we are afraid of being funny, failing, being rejected, etc.

If you look carefully, it turns out that there are more than enough reasons for anxiety and unrest around us. In order to overcome your fears and put your nerves in order, you need to identify the very cause of anxiety.

Is the nature of nervousness a defense mechanism or a hindrance?

So, when you are nervous, your hands begin to shake, sweating increases, you can literally “pound” with excitement, and your heart is ready to leave chest, but do all these "charms" help you in solving a situation that worries you?

Of course, they do not help, but very much even hinder. Understand that the very emotional coloring of the situation, which you characterize as “stressful”, is only in your head and nowhere else.

For example, the boss, reprimanding you, does not threaten to kill you, but meanwhile the reaction of your body is the same as if you were in mortal danger.

Along with unpleasant physiological sensations, nervousness carries the following psychological problems:

• Nervous, you simply cannot focus on an important matter, which only worsens the situation.

• Control over facial expressions, intonation of voice, movements is weakened, which may not make a very pleasant impression on your business partners or on the person you like.

• After a bout of nervousness, you feel overwhelmed and very tired.

• Frequent experiences will ultimately not be reflected in your health in the best way.

• Constantly worrying about trifles, you actually miss the main thing in life.

• To relieve stress and stop worrying, many resort to alcohol and smoking.

If you are prone to nervousness, then you can easily add other examples to the list when nervousness has significantly spoiled your life.

So, we found out that nervousness is not a psychological reaction that will help you in life, and in order to get rid of excessive “nervousness”, you need to work on yourself.

Work on oneself implies strengthening the following psychological attitude in the mind: “I have nothing to be nervous about, nervousness bothers me and I want to get rid of it.”

How to stop being nervous for any reason?

To stop “overflowing” for any reason, try the following exercise.

Think about those situations that caused you the most nervous tension and determine their significance specifically for your life. Think about it, are they worth such excitement and are they so significant that you are ready to worry about them for hours? Take a break from stressful situation, forget for a while about the problem that worries you and switch the focus of your attention to the opposite - think about your life goals about your desires and dreams. Imagine that they have already come true. Rejoice in this - and your worries will immediately go away.

Of course, this exercise is only part of the journey, but its repetition will certainly have a beneficial effect on your nervous system and general psychological state.

How to calm down before a responsible event?

The X moment has come and some very important and responsible event awaits you ahead, for example, the provision of an annual report, an interview, a first date.

You have to show the maximum of your positive qualities: quick wit, professionalism, knowledge, and you cannot allow an important event for you to fail due to excessive excitement, which can easily ruin everything.

To prevent this from happening, first realize the simple fact that even if you fail, your life will not end, and the end of the world will not happen.

1. Inhale for 4 counts.
2. Hold your breath for 2 counts.
3. Exhale for 4 counts.
4. Hold your breath for 2 counts and exhale for 4 counts.
5. Repeat all over again.

Simply put: inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 2 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds and hold your breath again for 2 seconds.

Remember that you need to breathe not with the diaphragm, not with the chest, but with the stomach - this way you can bring your heart rate back to normal and calm down quickly.

During the exercise, you do not need to think about the stressful situation, focus on only one breath.

And after you have stopped being nervous and calmed down, you can talk about how you should behave at the most crucial moment.
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How not to be nervous during an important meeting?

• Outwardly, you should look absolutely calm: even if all the persuasion and breathing exercises have not had the desired effect, at least try to portray calmness and self-confidence. Believe me, if you use such an imitation, then after a short period of time you will really stop being nervous and calm down significantly.
• Control your face and voice: Constantly think about exactly how your voice sounds and what kind of facial expression you have. Try to make your excitement imperceptible to others with the help of constant self-control. In addition to giving the impression of confidence, this will allow you to collect yourself internally, focus on your presentation and pull yourself together.
• Do not allow even the slightest sign of excitement: in a state of nervous tension many begin to fiddle with buttons, twirl pens and pencils in their hands, twist their hair, scratch themselves, which is actually very noticeable to others - so watch your actions.
• Do not rush: haste will only give you " disservice". When you are nervous and want to do everything quickly, you jump from one action to another, in the end nothing happens and others get confused about what you want to say or do. And even if there is a certain regulation, then it is not worth it that you exhaust all your nerve cells and achieve nothing - it is better to take extra time than to be left with nothing and make a bad impression.

So, in order not to be nervous before an important event, the main thing is to take care of yourself and take your time. It is better to think carefully about every moment than to be taken by surprise or to say something ridiculous - speak calmly and calmly answer the questions asked.

How to strengthen the nervous system and stop being nervous over trifles?

In order to stop being nervous even over trifles, the above recommendations and exercises will not be enough. To stop tormenting yourself even for minor reasons, you need to try to change your leisure time, on which a lot depends.

• Meditate regularly, try to achieve everything greater fortune appeasement and tranquility.

• Go in for sports, sign up for a fitness center, a section or a pool - this will allow you to strengthen your nerves and put your body in order.

• Get outdoors more often, enjoy visiting new and old places - constantly surfing the Internet has not made anyone less nervous.

• Do not forget about breathing exercises and give up bad habits that "help" you calm down, especially cigarettes and alcohol - the two main destroyers of our nervous system.

Friends, now you know how to stop worrying about everything and you can apply the recommendations in your life to make it brighter, more positive and happier.

Great peace to you!

Artur Golovin

Interesting

Alas, for many of us, stress has become an integral part of everyday life. Being stressed all the time is not the most pleasant way to pass the time. Moreover, long-term stress negatively affects the body, causing the development of many health problems, including asthma, heart disease and diabetes. Is there a way out in this situation? Learn to calm down! You have a day off today, or, conversely, a tense situation is in full swing, if you approach the matter correctly, you can always relax and start enjoying life. Always remember the simple rule: "Relax!"

Steps

Give yourself a day off

Set aside all your responsibilities. When you want to have a day of rest and relaxation, the main thing is to prepare in advance. It's hard to really relax and unwind when you have to focus on a work project or babysitting a screaming baby. Below is a list of things you can do ahead of time. Of course, everyone's life circumstances are different, so some of your responsibilities may not be on the list below:

• Take an extraordinary day off from work. If necessary, take vacation days. Note that in most cases management expects you to give advance notice - usually a few weeks in advance.
• If you have children, hire a nanny. Of course, children are a great happiness, but sometimes they can turn our life into a real nightmare. It's not worth the risk, otherwise it may turn out that your whole day off will be spent playing patties and changing diapers. It is better to entrust child care to a responsible nanny on this day.
• If necessary, make travel arrangements. Sometimes you just need to change the usual scenario to relax. If you want to go somewhere out of town, buy tickets or reserve a hotel for your stay in advance so that you do not have to do it in a hurry at the last moment.

1. Pamper yourself with a relaxing bath or shower. When you do decide to get out of bed (and on your rest day, you can when you want), start your day with a relaxing bath or shower. A warm bath or shower has been proven to help calm the mind, relieve muscle tension, and clear out chaotic thoughts. More importantly, the bath helps you feel good and makes it possible, at least for a while, to forget about all the problems and focus on the pleasant sensations of your body - in other words to relax.

   Have a cup of coffee or tea with friends. If caffeinated drinks give you a headache or make you nervous, you should not include this item on your to-do list for your rest day. If you think that a little caffeine will not hurt you, a cup of coffee with friends will help you relax and take your mind off everyday stress. In fact, according to some studies, if a person drinks coffee with people whose communication brings him joy, this has a pronounced relaxing effect on him. On the other hand, if you drink coffee alone, it may even increase your stress.

2. Give yourself the opportunity to take up a hobby that you usually don't have time for. Do you consider yourself a second Picasso? Have you been dying to pick up an old guitar and play some original songs? Today is the time to pamper yourself. A rest day is good because it gives you the opportunity to devote a lot of time to all those things that you secretly wanted to do in those long hours when they were engaged in the fulfillment of the necessary duties of life. Now you can not be afraid to spend a few hours (or even a whole day if you want) to bring joy to yourself. Here are some things you might want to do:

   • Try to do something creative. When you are in last time painting a picture, writing a song, or writing a story? If you can't remember, you might want to do something creative today and complete the project at your own pace.
   • Engage in minor repairs or home improvements. Small repairs or home improvement work can bring you a deep sense of satisfaction (and it's also a great long-term investment of time and energy, as it will lower your home maintenance costs).
   • Read a book. Real, time-tested paper books are becoming a rarity today. Nothing soothes a person like a few hours near the fireplace. spent reading your favorite book. Think about it, maybe this way of relaxation is right for you.
   • Play video games. There is nothing wrong with lounging on the couch for hours playing video games. However, if this activity is already taking up a lot of time in your daily life, it is better to consider some other hobby that you usually pay attention to much less often.

3. Try to cook a simple dish. Delicious food - that's what you just need on a day of rest. Do you want to improve your cooking skills (and save some money that you would spend in a cafe or restaurant)? Try to cook delicious and nutritious food for yourself and for your friends who can spend time with you. You can find thousands of different recipes on the Internet. A few minutes to search in Yandex - and you already have dozens of recipes for your favorite dish. You can also choose any dish from a wide variety of recipes on our website. .

   • If you don't like to cook, don't hesitate to reserve a table at your favorite restaurant or order food delivered to your home. Delicious food is one of the indisputable sources of pleasure for a person, do not neglect it on a day of rest!

4. Do your daily activities without haste. If you have organized a day of rest for yourself, this does not mean at all that you cannot do something useful. It will be useful to do some things that you still need to do in free time. Not only will this give you the satisfaction of doing something meaningful, it will also reduce your stress levels in the long run. After all, any obligatory task that you complete today will not hang over your soul tomorrow. Below is a list of cases you may want to consider:

   • Pay your bills
   • Send letters and packages
   • Submit your resume for positions of interest
   • Solve problems with support
   • Take care of things related to government bodies(for example, check and pay fines to the traffic police).

5. Watch a movie. Watching movies is the most peaceful and relaxing way to have fun (unless, of course, you choose to watch a horror or thriller movie). Sit back on the couch next to your loved one or invite friends over. A few soothing hours spent watching long-time favorite films or new cinema will be the perfect end to a day of relaxation.

   • If you have the opportunity, you can even have a movie night with friends. You can choose movies with a specific theme (such as art house) or choose movies at random. The choice is yours!
   • If your budget allows, you can enjoy watching movies on the big screen by going to the cinema with your friends. If all your friends are busy that day, you can go to the movies alone, although not everyone likes to watch movies alone. If you don't want to overspend, try finding early morning shows with inexpensive tickets.

6. Spend the evening in public (or at home!) Some people enjoy ending their day at a fun party at a nightclub, while others prefer to stay at home and go to bed earlier. You and only you decide what will be the perfect end to your day of relaxation!

   • You shouldn't think. that you simply have to go somewhere to have fun in the evening, even if you don’t feel like it. Your friends aren't going anywhere until tomorrow if you decide to skip one evening at the club and go to bed early.
   • Conversely, if you have the opportunity, go to a nightclub with friends and have fun from the heart, like in the good old days. Of course, you should not go on a spree if you have a responsible event planned for the next day. If you return home late from a party, the next day you are unlikely to have the strength for labor exploits.

7. If you're old enough, a little alcohol is even welcome (especially if you're smart about it). Face it, work and day-to-day responsibilities can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes we just need to relax a little with the help of alcohol. There is nothing to worry about, especially if you know the measure. For example, if you drink one or two glasses of wine with friends at the end of a hard day, it is unlikely to harm you in any way. According to some reports, moderate drinking of alcoholic beverages (for example, a small bottle of beer daily) is actually good for human health.

   • However, do not forget that excessive alcohol consumption will only increase stress. Not to mention the consequences of excessive alcohol consumption such as hangovers, nausea, and other unpleasant physiological symptoms, loss of control due to a large dose of alcohol can lead to poor decisions that ruin your life for a long time (and can even land you in jail).

8. Find a constructive way to release your overwhelming energy. There is good way cope with suppressed stress - direct it in another direction, where excess energy and tension will help to do something useful. For example, feelings of anger and anger will make it much easier to complete a long, intense workout (and most importantly, exercise is a good way to reduce your stress levels and improve your mood; you will find more information on this below). Another good way is to sublimate stress energy into creative activity such as writing stories or playing a musical instrument.

   • In our example of a surprise weekend job, it would be constructive behavior to head to the gym after work instead of heading straight home. This would make it possible to derive health benefits from anger. You could run around, make several approaches to the bar, and if you are very angry, you can beat the punching bag from the heart.

9. Try meditation. While this advice may seem frivolous and newfangled to some, the ability to meditate has been proven to help many people cope with stress, in other words, relax. There is no universal "correct" way to meditate. In general, in order to begin meditation, you need to get out of a tense environment, close your eyes, breathe slowly and focus on getting rid of annoying, anxiety-producing thoughts. Some people need to take complex poses of yoga gymnastics for meditation, others mentally imagine certain images or pictures, others repeat aloud simple words or mantras. There are people who walk in circles during meditation!

   • If you want more information on this subject (including detailed instructions on how you can clear your mind of annoying thoughts), you can find many excellent articles on meditation on our website.

10. First of all, make a plan of action and stick to it. All of the above techniques can be extremely useful if used wisely. However, if you want stress relief to bring you a sense of satisfaction and benefit, you need to try. deal with it. The temptation to run away from the stress of work, school, or home is, of course, very strong, but the most fast way get rid of stress - fight it. In addition, the satisfaction of a job well done will help reduce stress in the long run, even if you have to work hard to reach your goal at first.

    • In our example, it would be optimal to try to complete the task as quickly as possible, for example, on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Then you will still have a lot of free time to implement all your plans for the weekend. When you arrive at work on Monday, it's a good idea to talk to your boss about how best to organize your work so that you don't have to deal with this kind of work in the future.
    • Don't leave work to the last minute. If you put off work now, it will only add to your stress, especially if you have work to do. a certain period. If you do the work right away, you can then sincerely enjoy the rest. Otherwise, you will constantly worry about the fact that you still have to do the work postponed for later.

Go in for sports more often. As we already mentioned, it has been proven that one intense workout can help you quickly get rid of stress for a short time. However regular playing sports is also an effective way to maintain a positive, calm attitude towards life for a long time. Although it is still not fully understood exactly which biological mechanisms provide such an effect, Scientific research show that regular exercise can be a strong defense against stress-related health problems, especially depression.

• On our site you can find many articles that will give you information in an understandable and intelligible way on how to make exercise a part of your life, including examples of complexes for different levels of physical fitness.

Get more rest. The quality of sleep can have a huge impact on how we feel when we are awake. Try to remember the last time you stayed up all night and how you felt the next day. Even one sleepless night can ruin a whole day of well-being after that, and a constant lack of sleep can be a leading factor in causing long-term stress. There is evidence that a long-term lack of adequate sleep increases the risk of stress-related diseases, such as heart disease, stroke, and many other diseases. If you want to be healthy and stress-free, get yourself a full, long sleep every night (it is generally accepted that the duration of a night's sleep for an adult should be between seven and nine hours).

• In addition, it is important to understand that the relationship between sleep and stress also works in the opposite direction. In other words, just as lack of sleep can cause stress, stress itself can cause insomnia.

• Change your posture: Studies have shown that lying down is much easier to relax than standing up.
• Some people champion the idea of ​​"refreshing naps", claiming that a 15-20 minute nap is a great way to unwind and rejuvenate during a busy day. However, other people say that they find it difficult to fully wake up after a short nap break.
• Here are some more ideas to help you calm down:
  • Look for rain or clouds.
  • Have someone read a book to you until you fall asleep.
  • Wash off with cold water.
  • Draw with pencils or paints. And don't worry about what kind of drawing you end up with.
• If your nervousness and excitement increase after a cup of tea or coffee, try replacing them with decaffeinated alternatives. Caffeine use can be stressful for some people, especially if they begin to develop addiction to the substance.

Warnings

• Rest can greatly enhance your ability to be creative (unless you go to the other extreme and become lazy, of course). If you sleep, relax, or dream about something, it will help replenish your creative reserves. The next time you're feeling creative block, take an hour off work and you'll feel refreshed.
• Do not let the desire to relax and unwind distract you from serious matters (for example, from work). If you're in the midst of a major project, it's best to take short breaks of 10-15 minutes every hour. If you are doing small tasks, make sure you complete the next one before resting.