Pride is one of the properties of character, which can manifest itself both in a positive direction and in a negative one. Pride in a positive sense is a manifestation of joy or satisfaction for one's own or others' successes, talents, dignity in something. For example, the coach of a hockey team was proud of his players because they won the city tournament.

Pride can also manifest itself in more extensive achievements, for example, when Yuri Gagarin made his first flight into space in 1961, the entire Soviet people were incredibly proud of their compatriot, in their eyes he became a real hero, and is the pride of Russian space to this day. day. Today we feel a sense of pride for the many exploits of the Soviet people. The most important thing is still the victory in the Great Patriotic War. And even Russian citizens living in other countries go out into the streets on Victory Day on May 9 and proudly talk about their ancestors who fought at the front.

Pride in a negative sense is defined as the importance and arrogance of a person. When all these qualities go off scale, then pride becomes pride.

This negative trait of a person's character usually manifests itself when, for example, a person does not accept sincere help from another, considering himself smarter and higher than others, and help as an insulting sop. The theme of pride is touched upon in the work of Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov "A Hero of Our Time", Main character works Grigory Pechorin behaved extremely arrogantly towards others, even towards his relatives, while showing them everything, his superiority over them. Above all, he put his own interests, and caused pain not only to unfamiliar people, but also to his relatives, and his pride did not allow him to admit his mistakes. Left alone, he suffered from his actions. This is very good example manifestations of pride and how a person should not act with other people.

It is very important for a person living in society to correctly understand what the concept of "pride" means, and always feel the boundary where pride ends and pride appears, think not only about himself, but also about others, and always admit his mistakes.

Option 2

Pride is considered the root of every evil, the root of every sin, as opposed to humility, which is the path to grace. There is different forms pride. The first form of pride refers to the belief that you are superior to others, or at least inclined towards equality with all people, and are in search of superiority.

Here is something very simple, but very powerful. Our tendency to feel superior to others, or at least equal, but this also hides an attitude of superiority. This is a complex. When we are often tormented by thoughts, we are embarrassed, the thought appears that someone refused me that he offended me or did not understand me or is smarter than me or looks better than me - and we begin to feel competition, jealousy or conflict . At the root of this problem lies our need to be better than others, higher, or at least to make sure that no one can be something better than us, something stronger than us. Something very simple that we don't understand. Rising, a proud man lowers his neighbor. Such an elevation is really of no value, as it is completely conditional. The very idea of ​​becoming better at the expense of the other is simply absurd, such pride is actually negligible.

This can only be overcome if there is room for love. If love is real and takes place, this is clearly understood by how easily we overcome the attitude of winning over the other to show that we are superior to him, not wanting to convince the other at any cost, not expecting him to necessarily identify with our opinion. If we do not have this attitude, we are not free, because we are slaves to the need to identify the other with our idea, our opinion, our theory. If we do not have this need, we are free.

Pride is general concept, but when it comes to practical manifestations that affect us personally, we begin to get annoyed and stop seeing what is happening to us. We must respect everyone. Not everyone is equally capable by nature, character, everyone has different conditions. They are also relative, they change. Everyone is potentially ideal, just often far from this ideal. So pride just doesn't make sense.

What is pride? Perhaps this is a weakness? Or strength? Does a person need this feature or does it interfere with him? It is very important to get an answer to these questions for yourself, as it has a great influence on a person's life in general and on his environment.

There is no one who loves arrogant people. Moreover, hardly anyone has a desire to look at an arrogant, pompous or too proud and condescending face!

People with huge egos or those who try to show their superiority by hurting others have never been liked.

It is always easier and closer, and much more pleasant to communicate with polite, modest interlocutors who show respect for their opponent.

And it would seem that everyone understands this and can draw conclusions, but alas, pride often makes itself felt in many people.

Good and bad pride

Pride is appropriate and inappropriate. Appropriate pride can be called the feeling when you are proud of something bright and kind.

For example, with your good deed, let's say there is an opportunity to steal something, but the principle of life does not allow it - you can be proud of it.

Or pride in the correct upbringing of their children, for their success and recognition among their peers.

This is a kind pride that stimulates good and right actions.

Inappropriate pride is most often unfounded and has its own personal reasons.

As an example: someone got a prestigious high-paying job not for their knowledge, talents and abilities, but through an acquaintance or for money. In this situation, pride will be unfounded and completely inappropriate.

It is pride that does not allow you to admit your wrong and mistakes.

People with a high ego are usually very arrogant and arrogant, it is difficult to communicate with them, and even more so to have friendly or family relationships.

Proud people are almost always also vain, these individuals with all their guts strive for greatness, admiration for them, they are often rude and contemptuous of others, considering them unworthy even to be near their person.

What does pride lead to?

This vice has been known for a very long time, since the birth of mankind, pride has also come.

Few people understand and can admit to themselves that they are overly proud and narcissistic, that they need to learn humility, and not put themselves above others. It is humility that can help in suppressing one's pride.

In the family, this feeling should be avoided in every possible way. For a good and harmonious relationship, it is best to give in, make decisions together and always respect each other, then the children will learn correct behavior from their parents, otherwise they, growing up, will behave carelessly and selfishly towards their relatives.

In those families in which this vice is unknown, happiness and mutual understanding reign, such families are very clearly visible from the outside.

In society, pride is often the cause of conflict and skirmishes. Such people have very few friends, it is difficult to communicate with them and unpleasant.

At work they find it hard to find mutual language there may be disagreements with colleagues and with superiors, as proud people cannot calmly accept orders.

Such non-recognition among people and constant negative moments lead to irritation and aggression, which does not entail anything good for well-being, but on the contrary, it shatters nervous system which in turn leads to poor health.

Stress, anxiety and negative emotions can lead to deep depression.

How to overcome pride

Pride must be fought, its companion is undoubtedly selfishness, and together these two feelings will not lead to anything good.

They need to be eradicated, hidden far away in the depths of the soul, forgetting about them forever.

Proud and selfish people do not know how to listen to others, do not respect other people's opinions and do not see anyone but themselves, but at the same time they demand that they be respected and honored.

Therefore, the most optimal method of dealing with pride is respect for others, respect for their choice and point of view.

But of course, you need to understand that there are people or companies that, by their actions, break the line of the law or try to incite something bad, in this case, on the contrary, you should not give in or follow their lead, you need to show your appropriate pride and refuse them .

According to the famous Christian apologist C. S. Lewis, in human society there is only one vice, which seems so repulsive in others, and at the same time is the least noticeable in ourselves.

And this vice is pride.

Sacred Church Tradition, represented by many holy fathers, calls pride the mother and root of all sins: it was pride that caused the fall of the highest Angel - Dennitsa and turned him into the devil. Man followed the same path after Satan. Thus, St. John Chrysostom writes: “The first man fell into sin from pride, desiring to be equal to God, and for that he did not keep even what he had.” Thus, we see that pride eventually caused evil to appear in this world.

But back to the words we started with. The more pride we have in ourselves, the more we hate its presence and manifestation in others. Each of us, together with St. John Chrysostom, can recognize that pride is a sign of a low mind and lack of spiritual nobility. But none of us, probably, will be able to say that about ourselves first of all, and this is the first sign of pride that we notice in everyone around us, but not in ourselves.

According to the very clear expression of St. Theophan the Recluse, a proud person is like wood shavings coiled around his own emptiness. A person is a kind of vessel that must be filled from the outside with either good or evil. On our own, without God, we are worthless, yet we are proud of our own emptiness. Every proud person is organically inherent in a certain spirit of rivalry, and this is understandable - after all, pride is not content with some kind of partial possession, partial power. My pride will be satisfied only when I have more of something, for example, money, power, fame, than my, so to speak, competitors. However, its main difference from greed is that the latter disappears when a certain level of saturation is reached, while pride is insatiable, it is like an unquenchable fire, which, the more it devours substances, the more it flares up. People are not proud of their wealth, beauty or intelligence, they are proud that THEY are richer, more beautiful or smarter than others. Pride needs comparison, because only the recognition that we are better than others brings us joy and satisfaction. And therefore, if there is at least one person who has more wealth or more power than me, he will inevitably be my rival and even enemy. But at the same time, we should not confuse pride with vanity. Vanity is, so to speak, only the surface of what we call pride. A vain person is dependent on the opinions of others. It is important for him to be praised, appreciated for his work or some skill. It is a positive assessment from the outside, the recognition that he has brought some benefit to someone, that gives pleasure to a conceited person. But if the very assessment of others no longer means anything to me, if the opinion of others is no longer important to me and I am focused solely on narcissism - this means that I have already reached that bottom of pride, from which it will be very difficult to get out.

Christianity has always asserted: it is pride that has given rise and gives rise to the main misfortunes, both in individuals and in all societies - the family, the state, the people - as a whole. Some vices, such as drunkenness or gambling, can unite people, because people are united by one passion in achieving a common goal. And only pride is an exclusively individual passion. It develops in man only hostility: hostility towards others and even towards God Himself. And it is our pride that does not give God a chance to help us, because pride will never allow a person to say to the Creator: “Come and save me from my sins.” A proud person looks down on everything and everyone, and therefore he will never see the One who is above him. That is why it is said in the Epistle of the holy Apostle James that God opposes the proud and only gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). The Monk John Cassian the Roman interprets these words as follows: it is not God who punishes the proud, but the proud one deprives himself of Divine grace. A proud person, even if he says that he believes in the True God, actually worships some imaginary god created by him, an idol. Christ spoke of this when He warned His disciples: “Not everyone who says to Me: “Lord! Lord!” He will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in Heaven. Many will say to Me in that day: "Lord! Lord! Didn't we prophesy in Your name? And didn't we cast out demons in Your name? And didn't we do many miracles in Your name?" And then I will declare to them: "I NEVER KNEW YOU; get away from me, you workers of iniquity" (Matthew 7:21-23). And therefore, if it seems to some of us that our faith, our prayer or our virtue makes us at least a little, but still better than others, then we must be sure that this feeling did not come to us from God, but from the devil.

As we have already said, the main danger of pride is that it does not allow us to see God, to get closer to Him. The Savior warned in His Sermon on the Mount that only the pure in heart would be able to see God (Matt. 5:8). Saint Isaac the Syrian said: “If you are pure, then heaven is in you; then within you you will see the angels and the Lord of the angels.” Only humility, the desire to see our sins, can help us overcome our pride. The Lord sees our heart, even if we do our best to hide from Him. And if one day He sees in us a sincere desire to be reborn, to become spiritually better and purer, then we must be sure: He Himself will immediately come to our aid and do everything to save us.

Andrey Muzolf

“Indeed, pride, which manifests itself in vanity and arrogance, in the rapture of one's own abilities, indicates an inflated ego and can be destructive. But if we are talking about the satisfaction and joy that we experience when we see the successful result of our hard work, then this is an important and useful emotion that helps us become more persistent and resilient. And for people in creative professions, wounded pride at some moment of crisis can be an important sign that the wrong decision has been made. In some cases, this may mean that it is time to change the strategy or even choose a completely different direction.

Take the example of ultramarathoner Dean Karnazes, who once ran 563 kilometers in a single run and another time ran 50 marathons in 50 days. This person seems to have a very serious motivation. But where did she come from? The impetus was on his 30th birthday, when Karnazes reflected on his life and career in a very promising sales field, which, however, did not cause him any sense of pride. As psychologist Jessica Tracy of the University of British Columbia, Canada, explains, it was this lack of self-esteem that propelled Karnazes to become one of the world's most successful track runners. long distances one . “Karnazes started running not because he knew it would change his life, but because he wanted to feel something,” writes Jessica Tracy.

Wounded pride turns out to be a kind of “achievement barometer” that encourages us to develop

If you've recently experienced disappointment—let's say your elaborate project was rejected or your creative commission failed—your self-esteem collapsed and you turned to self-criticism, try not to plunge yourself into that depressive state. Instead, use hurt feelings of pride to motivate yourself to do something and make a difference. If you are quite successful, but your achievements do not cause you true satisfaction and pride, it may be time to reconsider your work priorities.

In general, we could all benefit by listening to this feeling. “We often live by inertia, when it seems that everything seems to be in order, but still we lack this feeling of victory, taken heights,” the psychologist explains. - Awareness of feelings dignity often pushes us to do something else and live differently.”

Together with her colleagues at the University of British Columbia and the University of Rochester, Jessica Tracy has conducted a series of studies on this topic. For example, they measured students' sense of pride in their achievement on an exam and noticed that those who reported feeling a prick of self-esteem (did not feel satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment) for their poor performance, as a rule, said that they planned to study for exams. differently. And on the next exam a few weeks later they showed more high results. Those students who received poor marks on the first exam and did not feel that their pride was hurt did not demonstrate such improvements.

Also, as part of the study, psychologists interviewed members of the running club after the race. The bottom line is the same: those who ran badly and were hurt by it tended to say they planned to change their training regimen and improved their performance the next race. These results show that hurt pride is a kind of “achievement barometer” that motivates us to develop. The most important thing, of course, is not just to notice, but to take the time and effort to reflect on that feeling (or lack of it) to really boost your motivation.

Do you see the cause of the troubles in what is realistic to fix, or in your personal qualities?

But one word of caution: if you've gone through a series of disappointments and are not just hurt, but depressed and completely lost confidence in yourself, then you run the risk of reaching self-abasement. Shame is the feeling that “I can’t do anything, I’m not good at it, which means I won’t try anymore, because it will end in failure anyway.” Such a statement is by no means motivating. “Feeling hurt pride, on the other hand, means that you lack validation of your competence and accomplishments, and you are trying to validate your abilities again,” explains Jessica Tracy.

There is a great way to determine whether you are feeling hurt pride or shame. Think about whether you see the cause of the trouble in something that can be fixed, such as a lack of effort or an incorrectly chosen strategy, or something that indicates the kind of person you are. For example, if your last project received little positive feedback and you explain this by saying that you are a bad designer and you have no talent, which, of course, is demoralizing. But if you feel a burning desire to be proud of yourself and know what you need to do to succeed next time, this can be a powerful motivating force.

So treat your sense of self-respect with…respect. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be even more proud of yourself for your passion, dedication and determination.

For more details, see on the site 99U.

about the author

Christian Jarrett psychologist, award-winning science journalist, editor and host of the official blog British Psychological Society ResearchDigest. Author and co-author of several books, including The Rough Guide to Psychology (Rough Guides, 2011).

1 For more information, see Take Pride, Why The Deadliest Sin Holds The Secret To Human Success by J. Tracy, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016.

Pride! Is it bad? Proud man! Is it shameful? Proud look... Proud posture... Proud act! All these and similar phrases before, when I was far from the Church and faith, aroused more respect and even admiration than condemnation. And, I'm sure it's not just me.

If we start asking everyone we meet if pride is good or bad, I don't think most people will say, "Bad." Although many, probably, will make a reservation: "Watching what pride", "Watching what to be proud of." Everyone understands that this is not always good.

But one thing - not always, and the other - never. We, Orthodox, are inclined to say that pride never contains anything good, it always carries evil.

For us Christians, pride is the mother of all evils and vices. This is not an exaggeration. After all, we know how evil appeared in the universe at all. The very first crime occurred when Dennitsa became proud and opposed himself to the Creator. All the rest of the evil that has been and is being done in the world is a consequence.

This alone is enough to strike pride off the list of virtues and put it on the list of vices once and for all. Moreover - it and open this list.

There is another reason: the famous biblical saying:

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). That is, the greatest values ​​- peace with God and the grace of God - are inaccessible to the proud and are served to the humble.

Therefore, when speaking of pride, it is wrong not to speak of humility. Pride and humility are two poles. Therefore, one is much better understood in comparison with the other.

Pride carries in itself exaltation, arrogance, reverence for oneself better than others, when, according to Pushkin, "we revere everyone as zeros, and ourselves as ones." So, humility, on the contrary, is self-abasement, a view of oneself as the worst of the worst.

If you use the word "self-esteem", then it is greatly overestimated for the proud, and for the humble ..? Is it possible that the lower it is, the more humble a person is? Really, the worse I think of myself, the better? Does not Christianity, then, offer man a path that is very bleak and depressing?

One of my acquaintances, who was trying to go to church, began to read morning and evening prayers, and after a while told me that he was confused by many things.

“Why do I have to talk about myself all the time that I am “so-and-so, accursed”, that I am such rubbish, and I have nothing good? If I really am, then I must despise myself. How sad it is to live and despise yourself. And I want to respect myself. And I don't think it's bad." “Respect yourself! Some may be outraged. “So it’s already pride!”

I confess, and I don't think it's bad to respect yourself.

Perhaps my words will cause a flurry of protests, but, in my opinion, there are two forms of humility. First: "I'm the worst." Second: "everyone is better than me." I like the second one much more.

At first glance, isn't it the same thing? Isn't this that "reversal of the places of the terms, from which the sum does not change?" No, not at all. In the first case, you can continue: everything is rubbish, and I am even worse. In the second: I am good, but others are better.

But is it good? In a way, yes. I'll try to explain in what way.

Selfishness is often mentioned alongside pride. Usually in the worldly lexicon, this word carries a positive characteristic. As opposed to selfishness. Selfishness is selfishness.

What about self-love? Self-esteem. But isn't the norm for a Christian the opposite: a sense of one's own unworthiness?

So healthy pride, in my opinion, is just something that opposes pride. Yes, do not be surprised, in order not to be proud, you must love yourself. But only love with the right love.

In general, a lot has been said and written about what it means to love a person. But I especially like this saying: “To love a person is to see him as he can be and do everything to make him become that way.”

Wonderful words! It is with the same love that one must love the person that I myself am.

See yourself as you can and should become and do everything for this. At the same time, of course, you should see yourself as you are now. And to see the difference between what is and what can and should come out of you.

And if you see this difference, there will be no talk of any pride. What to be proud of when there is so far to the goal! But there will be no place for despondency. After all, you believe that you can, with God's help, become what you should. And faith in it component faith in God. Whoever believes in God believes in His love and that He will help you in any good deed. Isn't striving for perfection a good deed?

Extreme pride: "I'm good, and everyone is bad." The humble one thinks: "Maybe I'm good, but everyone else is better." Of course, to say “good” about yourself is not always the language will turn. Compared to what it should be, it's not even very good.

But if I still want to become good, if I believe that with God's help I will become better, then there is already something to respect in myself, which means there is no place for despondency and self-contempt. And therefore, true humility is not dull, but joyful. Pride is not joyful.

A perfect example is given by Plutarch, talking about the morals of the Spartans: “When he was not enrolled in the “three hundred” squad, which was considered the most honorable in the Spartan army, Pedaret left, smiling cheerfully. The ephors called him back and asked why he was laughing. “I rejoice,” he replied, “that in the state there are three hundred citizens better than me.”

What is it, pride or humility? Of course, humility, but what a joyful, bright, truly noble humility!

Where there is pride, there is no love, no joy, no peace. On the contrary, there is anger, despondency and hostility towards others.

How to deal with pride? How to develop humility in yourself? For those who have such a question, such a desire has appeared, the work has already begun. Seeing a problem in yourself is already, if not half the battle, then still quite a lot.

Any struggle consists of a chain of defeats and victories. The main thing is not to justify yourself, to be honest with yourself, that is, to be able to give an honest assessment of what is happening in the heart.

And it is also very important to be able to see something so good in every person that I don’t have, something that you can learn from. Not the good that catches the eye and cannot be overlooked. We must look, we must seek.

Confucius said that when he travels and comes across a fellow traveler, he always finds something in him that he can learn from him. All of us - travelers and fellow travelers are changing one by one. There is a lot to be learned if you don't look down on them. And one more thing - do not forget to thank both God and people. Pride and gratitude don't go together.

In this regard, I will tell you about one more, as I think, mistake. A person has done something good and rejoices in it. And he takes this joy for pride and reproaches himself for it and repents of it at confession. “Here, father, when I do something good, it immediately becomes joyful! Here it is, pride!

And it seems to me that why not rejoice! What then to rejoice, if not the fact that we managed to do something well. Such joy must simply be combined with gratitude to Him, without Whom "we cannot do anything."

Just do not give thanks like the Pharisee from the well-known parable, praising and judging those around you. Give thanks, remembering that any condemnation crosses out all the good. Give thanks and rejoice that the Lord sometimes makes me, among others, an instrument of His love.

Prepared by Oksana Golovko