Low self-esteem It can manifest itself at any age, but its inclinations are formed by parents in childhood. In modern society, it is a common problem and is characterized by an inadequate vision of the personality itself. This problem can seriously spoil the life of an individual. The main "companions" of low self-esteem include embarrassment, fear of being rejected or rejected, indecision, lack of confidence in personal potential and their own attractiveness, jealousy, cowardice, shyness, excessive touchiness, fear of seeming ridiculous. People with low self-esteem may never become winners. They obviously occupy a disadvantageous position in society.

Causes of low self-esteem

The main reasons for the emergence of low self-esteem include the assessment and influence of parents in childhood, the acceptance of the evaluative opinions of other people as an objective reality, attaching importance to some business in which you defeated, an overestimated level of claims.

Personal self-esteem, like many other things, begins its formation from early childhood. In this period, the baby is not yet able to independently evaluate his actions and actions, so he forms an opinion about himself by suggesting the immediate environment, mainly with the help of parental reactions to all his actions and actions. Not giving children love, attention and affection, parents give birth to low self-esteem in them. Constant criticism of the kids, excessive demands on them is necessarily reflected in their entire future life. Continuous criticism from significant figures for children leads to a very low degree of self-esteem. The child gets used to constant criticism and perceives it as the norm. Therefore, growing up, he will no longer demand better attitude.

Another reason for low self-esteem, which originates from childhood, is the use of "shocking duties" in parenting. Overuse this method upbringing can cause children to feel a huge sense of responsibility, which subsequently leads to emotional constraint. Often adults say: "Your father is a respected person, so you should behave like him." In the subconscious of the baby, a reference model is formed, embodying which, he will become good and ideal, however, since. it is not implemented, there is a discrepancy between the ideal and the existing reality.

Childhood illnesses or physical defects can also make a negative contribution to the development of self-esteem. A sick child or a child with visual defects feels different from others. If in childhood peers scoffed at his defects, constantly reminding him of their existence, then such a child will certainly have low self-esteem.

Regardless of the good or bad performance of the task, there are always people who will criticize. If a person accepts all the statements of others on faith, without exception, then this will certainly affect his self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem of the personality are characterized by a steady attachment of great importance to some events or consider themselves to be deliberately losers in comparison with others. This destroys their self-confidence and personal potential, leads to the loss of a sense of personal dignity, which ultimately leads to low self-esteem.

Often individuals unknowingly set for themselves in order to achieve such high goals and a very short period of time for implementation that their implementation is practically unrealistic. After they fail to achieve these goals, their self-esteem deteriorates significantly. ceases to believe in personal potential, is disappointed in his own abilities and stops making any attempts to realize his dreams.

Signs of low self-esteem

The main sign by which it can be concluded that an individual has a low level of self-esteem is the attitude of others around him to his personality. After all, others intuitively perceive a person in accordance with her self-esteem. Therefore, if a person treats himself with respect and accepts his personality, then he will certainly be accepted and respected by the surrounding society. If a person does not love himself, then one should not expect love from those around him. After all, when an individual himself belittles himself in his own eyes, then it is quite difficult for others to relate to him and think about him differently.

In addition, an individual with low self-esteem will unconsciously choose for himself the same interaction partners who once again will only confirm such a self-assessment. This behavior comes from the fact that each person seeks to involuntarily certify his self-esteem. Such a tendency for individuals with internal insecurity, indecision and low self-esteem is natural.

The problem of low self-esteem is often accompanied by the habit of constantly complaining about life, circumstances, one's helplessness, the inability to change anything in the current conditions, the inclination to mentally call oneself unlucky, bad, imperfect, etc.

The feeling of self-pity comes from the inability to manage own life. People consciously surrender to the mercy of others or circumstances. They are constantly being pushed in one direction or the other. They allow others to upset themselves, hurt, scold, criticize and anger, because they have a dependent nature and love attention, they want to be good to everyone. Often many individuals are glad that they are ill. Indeed, strength lies in weakness - others begin to give them the desired attention to such an extent and are always ready to serve.

People tend to blame and complain about others because they refuse to take responsibility for everything that happens to them. After all, it is much easier to shift the blame to other people or unfortunate circumstances than to realize that the problem lies in oneself. An individual who has a habit of complaining to others and blaming them for his own failures feels like an inferior person and tries to consolidate his position by humiliating others. It is not uncommon for individuals to blame others for what they do not like about themselves or for which they blame themselves. They are eager to condemn in the surrounding individuals precisely those shortcomings and weaknesses that are in themselves.

The problem of low self-esteem also lies in focusing one's attention on one's own shortcomings. People with low self-esteem usually look like this: a downcast head, a sad facial expression, the corners of the mouth are down, stiffness of movement, etc. Man with adequate self-esteem looks more relaxed physically.

The manner of dressing also indicates the adequacy of self-esteem. Hairstyle, clothes, makeup and grooming are a kind of self-presentation of the individual.

Individuals with a low level of self-esteem are characterized by inadequate reactions to criticism. They take any comments and opinions personally. You need to understand that absolutely everyone can make mistakes. Discussion and analysis of mistakes will be constructive if the conversation is conducted with an adequate personality. An individual with a low level of self-esteem perceives the analysis of mistakes as a personal insult, a kind of evidence of his own inferiority, mental trauma.

Low self-esteem prevents such a person from separating his personality from the problem, himself from the situation. People who put on fake masks think they are worse than those around them. In an effort to resist this feeling, they are often familiar, boastful, they speak too loudly, laugh indicatively, or try to strike with their material well-being. Such people do not want to show the surrounding society a true attitude towards themselves. The artificial masks are meant to cover up one's own insecurities, an attempt to make up for a deficit. dignity.

People with low self-esteem tend to be characterized by a lack of close friends. Feeling dislike for self, they become either “loners”, who live separately from society, or adhere to the opposite manner of behavior and turn into aggressive, assertive, overly critical, demanding people. None of these behaviors are conducive to friendship.

Low self-esteem can often be accompanied by a fear of making a mistake. Constantly doubting the ability to carry out what others expect of him, the individual usually does nothing at all or may postpone the implementation of actions for a longer period. A person refuses to make a decision, because he believes that he will not be able to make the right choice. The result of low self-esteem of one partner or both spouses at the same time can be a divorce. Basically, such unions break up in which one of the partners feels a strong need to dominate the spouse, control him or completely own him.

How to get rid of low self-esteem

The emergence of inadequate self-assessment is, in fact, a symbiosis of feelings of guilt, resentment, shame, which most often people are not aware of.

Overestimated and underestimated self-esteem are considered two sides of the same coin of non-acceptance of one's personality. Indeed, in the event of the slightest failure, an overestimated level of self-esteem instantly transforms into an underestimated one, and in case of success, an underestimated degree of self-esteem rapidly turns into an overestimated one, so it is never adequate. Therefore, overestimated and underestimated self-esteem can coexist in one person.

How to deal with low self-esteem? Initially, it is necessary to find the causes of its occurrence and rethink them.

Dealing with low self-esteem begins with realizing your own strengths and weaknesses, making sure that you have wonderful qualities and strengths that are worthy of respect and appreciation. You can play a fairly simple game with yourself that consists of doing three things every day that bring you joy. You need to start living for yourself, so you should make the simplest plans and fulfill them, live with a good mood, a positive attitude, smile more often and praise yourself regularly.

Low self-esteem, what to do? First you need to love yourself with all the flaws, mistakes, defects and shortcomings. You should try to understand that you, like any other person, are not only made up of shortcomings, but also have a lot of advantages and advantages.

You need to learn how to take care of yourself, your gait, demeanor, etc. If you notice that you are walking down the street, looking at your feet, then look ahead, put a smile on your face, remember the pleasant moments of life and boldly go towards your dream.

How to deal with low self-esteem? Very simple! You just need to start appreciating yourself. And for this, give yourself the opportunity to do what you have a soul for, start reading more. Maybe you need to change jobs? If this is not possible, then find yourself a favorite hobby.

Working with low self-esteem is self-control and willpower training. Active rest, physical exercises, daily workouts, contrast showers - ideally strengthen the body and spirit.

How to get rid of low self-esteem? The answer to this question lies in a good attitude towards others and love for one's neighbor. Try to help people, do not avoid asking for help if you can help. This will give you value in your own eyes.

Change your views on the world around you and society. Get rid of the constant depressing thoughts about the need to increase the level of self-esteem. Such thoughts will not lead to a good result. The most important rule on the way to adequate self-esteem is faith in oneself, personal potential and one's own strengths.

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence of a woman? This question is asked by many of the fair sex. An insecure girl whose legs give way from shyness will not leave a vivid impression after the meeting. And a woman who is convinced of her attractiveness and knows her strengths cannot but be remembered. That is why it is easier for some of us to promote ideas, climb the career ladder, make fans fall in love with us. How can a woman increase her self-esteem and self-confidence?

Before buying the book How to Raise Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence in a Woman, it is worthwhile to understand whether you really have problems with self-perception.

If you find at least a few of the following items in yourself, then there is a high probability that you think about yourself worse than you really are:

• You constantly think about your failures, remember awkward moments;
• You often experience a feeling of self-hatred, and often feel sorry for yourself;
• You blame others for your failures and try to shift the responsibility onto someone else's shoulders;
• You often think that you will not be able to cope with the work ahead;
• You are constantly afraid to disappoint someone;
• You react inadequately to criticism, perceiving it as proof of your inferiority;
• You feel like you don't deserve love. For the same reason, you often throw yourself into the arms of the first person who shows sympathy for you - even if he does not correspond to your real level;
• You procrastinate and put off action for a long time, fearful of your perceived inability to make the “right” choice.

Low self-esteem is characterized by constantly remembering your failures.

Reasons for low self-esteem

A general list of reasons for low self-confidence and unstable self-esteem:

• Childhood trauma. None of us even suspects how many problems "come from childhood" in our psychological baggage. The incident that happened to you as a teenager may be completely inconspicuous for you as a real person - but it is he who is sometimes the root of deep problems that have settled in the subconscious. For example, parents too often criticized their child, underestimated his progress, devalued interests and hobbies. As a result, a grown-up person lives with the feeling that he does not deserve a better attitude - after all, everything that he likes is really insignificant, and he himself is practically unable to do anything well.
• Dependence on the opinions of others. There will be critics in any situation, even if you did your job brilliantly. You have to accept it and stop paying attention to it. Moreover, criticism is an indicator of your success: only those who go forward, leaving behind the losers, are usually honored with evil words.

Many problems come from childhood

• Perception of any failure as a tragedy. Everyone has bad days. And everyone at least once failed to cope with an important task - he could not overcome the excitement, "flunked" the test, out of inexperience framed a colleague or boss. Do not make a molehill out of molehills: mistakes are part of our experience, which will be useful to us in the future.
• High expectations. Perhaps you set yourself too high goals, which it is simply impossible to achieve in the allotted time. And it's not that you're not good enough - just give yourself more time or lower the bar a little.

Self-esteem depends on brain function

You can endlessly watch videos with titles in the spirit of “how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence for a woman”, but it is more important to understand how our body works. Few people know that self-esteem is due to the work of the brain.

When the limbic system is moderately active, we feel good.

The limbic system is an interconnected structure of the brain that is responsible for our emotions, memory, sleep, wakefulness, as well as for a number of functions of internal organs.

When the limbic system is moderately active, we feel good: this state is characterized by an optimistic mood. When the activity of this zone is increased, self-esteem decreases, and a feeling of guilt, a sense of one's own incapacity and even helplessness takes the place of the positive.

The logic is simple: to get rid of negative emotions and add more colors to life, it is enough to learn how to control the limbic system. This will save you from many problems, including the answer to the question of how to raise a woman's self-esteem and self-confidence.

If the limbic system is unstable, negative emotions arise

Simple ways to stabilize the limbic system:

• Proper nutrition. The brain will not feel safe if it is exhausted by diets or, on the contrary, receives calories only from harmful products. Only a balanced healthy diet will become a worthy source of energy. Take vitamins and fish oil, eat more fruits, and limit unhealthy foods.
• Physical activity. During exercise, serotonin is released, the hormone of joy and good mood. This will help you cope with stress and feel more confident and strong. In addition, a good physical shape and a beautiful body like nothing else contribute to self-esteem.
• Healthy sleep. In order for the brain to cope with stress and give you positive emotions, it needs to rest. It's about about eight hours of sleep. Only in this way will you receive a “relaxation” and feel free from stress - after all, in a dream, the brain puts in order all the events, feelings and thoughts that have occurred during the day.

Proper nutrition contributes to a good mood

• Physical proximity. Frequent lovemaking not only strengthens the immune system and relieves stress, but also gives a good mood - you begin to feel sexier, more confident and more beautiful.

The implementation of these points is necessary not only to raise self-esteem, but also in order to maintain health.

How to increase self-esteem

So, how can a woman increase self-esteem and self-confidence? In addition to the list above, there are the following methods:

• Engage in self-development. The more new knowledge you get in a day, the better. Explore foreign language, read a new book or watch a new movie, get a driver's license, go to business development training. In addition to the obvious benefits, you will also gain new connections and acquaintances - perhaps even enter into a relationship with a man of interest to you;

Engage in self-development

• Get rid of the trash and tidy up your apartment. If necessary, and if possible, make repairs, at least cosmetic. It has been proven that the better the home looks, the cleaner and more pleasant it is, the more confident the owner feels;
• It is necessary to overcome the feeling of fear and constant danger. It is common for people with low self-esteem to be afraid of exams, entering relationships, sounds, images, emotions, and so on. Draw two pictures. The first is negative, on which your fear is realized - for example, being fired from your favorite job. The second is positive, blocking the first. For example, you work hard and are rewarded with a bonus. Now we are working with these images: imagine that you move the first one as far as possible from yourself until it turns into a small dot and disappears altogether. And try to imagine the second picture as often as possible - think through everything down to your mood, feelings, weather outside the window, the clothes you are wearing.

Need to get rid of fears

• Psychology says that one of the surest ways to increase a woman's self-esteem and self-confidence is to focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. If you constantly think about being overweight, then you begin to perceive yourself exclusively as a complete lady. But isn't it better to focus on your positive qualities? You can be a great housewife, a great mom, the best bookkeeper in the office, and so on - the list is endless.

Start treating yourself with respect

• In conversations, use phrases such as “I think” and “I think” more often: your opinion is valuable. Express your emotions openly - don't be afraid to protest and don't try to hide if you don't like something. You have the right to disagree or think differently than your interlocutor. Agree with praise, accept compliments - you deserve it.
• Come to terms with the mistakes of the past. And with the fact that you still have a lot to stumble on. This is natural for any person. We need defeats in order to understand where to move on. Take your mistakes as an indication of new directions for development - this is a great path to self-improvement.

Come to terms with the mistakes of the past

• Remove from your environment "toxic" people who constantly baselessly criticize you, insult you, devalue your interests and problems. Truly close people should contribute to an increase in self-esteem and its stabilization, and not constant fluctuations or, even worse, a decrease.

Self-Esteem Exercises

There are many videos on the Internet on how to use psychology and special exercises to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in a woman. We attach two such videos to this article.

An ordinary mirror will help you raise your self-esteem

Additional list of useful exercises:

1. “On the contrary”: imagine a situation that causes you fear and excitement. Write down on a piece of paper options for what you could do if this situation became real. In times of difficulty, ask for help from loved ones. When you see an impressive list, it will be easier for you to believe in your own strength;
2. "Mirror". Sit comfortably, relax, close your eyes and start breathing deeply. Gradually let go of negative thoughts. Imagine yourself in front of a mirror and examine yourself in every detail. Believe that you are incredibly beautiful and successful. Look at yourself in an imaginary mirror for as long as it takes to believe in your own strength, while constantly complimenting yourself. Then open your eyes, stand up and go to a real mirror. Repeat all the pleasant words said earlier, looking into your eyes;
3. "Self Presentation". Imagine that you need to describe yourself in the most favorable light, but without empty embellishments. Take a piece of paper and write a speech, believing that you will have to read it - for example, to your future employers. In the text, focus on your positive qualities and skills. Give as many examples as possible to support your words - remember all your good deeds. When you're done, reread this speech—and return to it every day, and hard times- several times a day.

So there are many simple ways to raise self-esteem. It is much more difficult to establish the reasons why self-confidence may remain low. However, with hard work, you will definitely be able to change the quality of life for the better.

You have probably noticed that some people are difficult to communicate with. Pretense, arrogance come from a person, he constantly criticizes someone or demands attention, imposes a sense of guilt. It is not necessary that this person treats you badly. In many cases, this is a manifestation of low self-esteem.

assignment

There are 8 most common signs of a person with low self-esteem, and almost all of them are associated with the manifestation of negative emotions.

Signs of low self-esteem in women and men are similar in many ways. Let's consider each separately.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

1. Self pity

The person complains and blames others for their troubles. Behind the habit of complaining lies an unwillingness to take responsibility for one's own life.

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We allow ourselves to be at the mercy of people, circumstances or conditions, to go with the flow, limply nailing first to one shore, then to the other.

A person with low self-esteem easily falls into self-pity. It seems to him that the world is aggressive, people deliberately upset, offend, criticize and anger him. Everyone is to blame for everything, but not himself.

2. Distrust and nit-picking

Distrust and nit-picking are also signs of low self-esteem. Man tries to compensate own feeling inferiority, finding fault with others or controlling the lives of loved ones.

As a rule, we find fault with those features that are in ourselves. We are annoyed by some trait of character or behavior, and we do not want to accept it either in ourselves or in the people around us.

3. Need for attention

An obsessive need for attention and approval is a common sign of low self-esteem in women. Such women are not self-confident and need constant confirmation that they are beautiful.

Men also tend to demand attention. Often a man chooses a woman who will constantly praise, support, approve, guide him.

4. Escape from reality

Substitution in active manifestation is the need to always be first and right, the desire to show off in front of others. Driving force in this case, it is the desire to receive approval and praise.

Another substitution option is the tendency to satisfy one's psychological and social needs through food, drugs, and alcohol. Indulgence "clogs" self-rejection and allows you to escape from reality.

5. Depression and disappointment

Among the signs of low self-esteem, a condition such as depression is very popular. A person consciously or unconsciously decides that there are circumstances that prevent him from getting what he wants.

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Depression also occurs when a person does not know what he wants. Or he knows what he wants, but fears disappointment.

Disappointment occurs when what is expected does not match reality. It can relate to anything and is manifested in an attempt to live up to certain standards.

6. Greed and selfishness

A greedy person, satisfying his personal needs, tries to compensate for the lack of self-esteem. A person does not believe that someone will take care of him, so he tries to take care of himself.

Greedy selfish people rarely show interest in others, even close people who love them.

7. Indecision

Indecision arises from the fear of making a mistake, and the fear of making a mistake comes from self-doubt.

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The unwillingness to make a mistake encourages either to do nothing or to postpone until the last. A person has difficulty making a decision because he is afraid of making the wrong choice.

Indecision is often combined with perfectionism. A person believes that everything must be done perfectly so that no one can find fault.

8. Pretense

The pretender seeks to compensate for his feelings of inferiority by bragging about knowing famous people.

Characteristic manifestations of this type of personality are a loud voice, a made laugh, an attempt to impress through material wealth.

Pretenders hide their true feelings by wearing masks to prevent others from seeing their true colors.

Reasons for low self-esteem

Among the causes of low self-esteem, excessive criticism and devaluation, learned in childhood, are highlighted.

Another reason is the defeatist beliefs that the child adopted from his parents. The third reason is the result of an upbringing with an emphasis on guilt and unworthiness.

How to deal with low self-esteem? The answer is obvious: increase self-confidence.

Low self-esteem may be situational or stable. The reasons for it can be both real problems of a person in a particular area, and fictional ones. Self-esteem is often rooted in the past. Parents, friends, teachers could inspire a person with self-doubt. With age, it has not gone away, but only deeper rooted. Low self-esteem is a big obstacle. It prevents a person from developing and fulfilling himself. As a rule, insecurity pushes away from him not only success in his personal life and career, but even people who can help. Psychology deals with problems of this kind. Self-esteem does not increase in a couple of sessions with a psychologist, but as a result of targeted efforts, it can be corrected.

To change self-esteem means to radically change the attitude towards oneself. Constant complaining and whining will never help get rid of the problems that have piled up. From people who underestimate themselves, you can hear that they are not loved and used. And this is often true. However, the reason for such an attitude of people is not in the qualities of the person himself and those around him, but in self-esteem. People intuitively grasp insecurity and are not averse to taking advantage of it. If a person does not evaluate himself properly, then no one will do it for him. It is unlikely that someone will prove to a pretty woman who has low self-esteem that she is beautiful. And, most likely, such arguments will be useless. A person must help himself. Otherwise, the situation can only get worse. Depression, alcoholism, suicide - all these are possible consequences of an underestimation of one's qualities. There can be no question of any motivation for a fulfilling life.

Low self-esteem can prevent you from getting rid of problems. However, you need to pull yourself together and decide to take this step. It all starts not with self-praise, but with something else. We must try to make even a small, but noticeable progress in business. It is noted that people who do not love themselves have a number of problems. One of them is the lack of real steps to achieve the goal (if the goal exists at all). Another problem is that the presence for which such people despise themselves and constantly experience Masochism must be left in the past. The first step to self-respect as an individual is self-improvement. If there are problems with alcohol, then you can try to refrain from it, if there is a fear of speaking, then you should at least try to learn how to speak in front of a mirror.

For every movement forward, you can reward yourself. Self-confidence develops gradually. You just need to pay attention to your strengths, not weaknesses. It's also important to stop punishing yourself. There are some things that cannot be fixed. It remains only to accept them and live with them. However, most of the time, most of the problems are solvable. A person who has low self-esteem simply does not try to solve them, to find other methods to achieve the goal. You can completely change your perception of yourself in a few years. This will require only focused work and motivation. So that motivation does not fall, you need to remember the reasons for dislike for yourself. Any person after several attempts begins to discover such negative moments in his past. It can be problems in the family in childhood, and ridicule at school, and failures with work. Don't let negativity obscure your horizons. Any troubles and failures must be treated correctly. Everyone falls in life, but those who have the strength to rise win. If you can’t change the situation on your own, then it’s better to contact a psychologist. You should not wait until a deep crisis and depression sets in, when you can no longer do without a specialist.

A person's self-esteem affects his life. It seems that you can not build on the assessment of yourself. However, it is precisely how a person perceives himself and what he believes that will determine his well-being and happiness. Low self-esteem with all its signs never gives happiness. The reasons for its occurrence are varied. However, it is their elimination that allows you to get rid of low self-esteem.

In another way, low self-esteem can be called like this: “feeling of your own insignificance” and “victim complex”. A person, for some objective or non-objective reasons, perceives himself negatively. He does not love himself, does not respect, does not appreciate. As for personal potential, it seems to a person that he does not have it at all.

Can a person with low self-esteem reach any heights? No. Even having some goals, he would rather turn them into dreams and desires than make efforts to realize them. A person who treats himself as a nonentity, unable to achieve and do anything, will not be able to jump above his head. He will think that other people are happier and more successful than he is. Although the difference will only be that others are trying to jump above the manifested capabilities, and a person with low self-esteem will draw conclusions without doing or doing anything.

Low self-esteem is in first place in terms of prevalence. Around everyone lives a lot of "victims" and "nobodies". Often these people only pretend to be such, but in fact they have inflated self-esteem. However, the position of the victim helps them achieve what they want. If there are achievements, then we are not talking about low self-esteem. This is the difference:

• With high self-esteem, a person achieves what he wants, even if he shows personality traits with low self-esteem.
• With low self-esteem, a person never achieves goals, constantly suffers and does not rejoice at anything.

What is low self-esteem?

What is low self-esteem? This is a person’s assessment of himself from the position of “I am nothing”, “I can’t do anything”, “I won’t succeed”, etc. This is a negative attitude towards myself in comparison with other people, which is expressed in the formula “I- , Other+".

Surrounding people seem to be more successful, smart, beautiful and worthy than a person thinks about himself. Low self-esteem originates from childhood, when parents are engaged in raising a person, and it can manifest itself at any age. The accompanying qualities that develop in a person with low self-esteem are:

1. Lack of self-confidence and personal potential.
2. embarrassment.
3. Fear of rejection.
4. Cowardice.
5. Fear of not being accepted in society.
6. Indecision.
7. Lack of faith in one's own attractiveness.
8. Shyness.
9. Excessive resentment.
10. Fear of being ridiculous.
11. Failure to protect yourself and your honor.
12. Disrespect and self-loathing.

It is not necessary to say that a person with low self-esteem will achieve success. That is why people with this quality dream of boosting their self-esteem. They say it's better to have high self-esteem than low self-esteem. Of course, none of the extremes gives happiness to a person, but inflated self-esteem has one advantage over low self-esteem - an arrogant person achieves success in at least something, while a person who considers himself worthless does not achieve any happiness.

Low self-esteem is the most common. This lies in the reasons that form it, as well as in the moral foundations of society that are promoted.

A common feature of high and low self-esteem is that a person does not look at himself realistically. A feature of low self-esteem is that a person notes mainly shortcomings in himself, while he sees only advantages in other people.

A person does not evaluate himself adequately when he sees his own strengths and weaknesses. With low self-esteem, he notices only his shortcomings, often exaggerating them and focusing on them. As for the merits, they, in the opinion of a person, may exist, but they are so insignificant that they should not be paid attention to.

Success cannot be achieved by noting only the shortcomings. That is why a person with low self-esteem does not achieve anything. Moreover, he is so fixated on his own flaws and weaknesses that he cultivates in himself. He does everything to make them even more manifest.

Causes of low self-esteem

The main causes of low self-esteem are:

1. Parental assessment of a person at the age when he was small.
2. Consent with the opinions of other people as the only truth.
3. Focusing on your own failures.
4. High level of claims.

Low self-esteem takes its origin from childhood, when the child is not able to evaluate himself adequately, therefore, he relies on the opinion of his parents. Significant people for him are Gods, whose opinion he fully trusts. If parents constantly criticize, compare the child with other children, point out his shortcomings, do not show love, talk about what he is bad at, then low self-esteem will certainly develop. The child begins to believe that constant criticism of him and finding shortcomings in him is the norm.

Parents often form low self-esteem when they build other people into an ideal that the child needs to match. The kid should behave like or be like some people pointed out by the parents. Since it is difficult even for an adult to be not himself, another person, a conflict arises between the desired and the actual. The child begins to criticize himself for his own inability to be different, not himself.

Focusing on the external defects or sickness of the child can also lead to a decrease in self-esteem. If parents teach a child to evaluate himself in terms of how beautiful he is, has a lot of toys, is healthy, strong, etc., then any inconsistency with ideals will lower the child's self-esteem.

All people at any age face criticism from others. If you take it on faith, as the truth and an irrefutable axiom, then self-esteem will certainly be low. Surrounding people are more accustomed to criticize than to admire each other. Therefore, often a person's self-esteem will depend on the opinions of others and most often be underestimated.

In the development of low self-esteem, a significant role is played by what a person focuses on. Everyone has setbacks and problems. However, those who focus on this, plunge into the abyss of despair and depression due to the failure that has arisen, low self-esteem is formed.

Moreover, it also leads to an overestimation of the requirements in relation to oneself. When a person wants to reach high results in the shortest possible time, he will certainly encounter difficulties and difficulties, which in the end he is not able to solve and eliminate. Another failure leads to disappointment in oneself, because too high demands were set, beyond the strength of an ordinary person.

Signs of low self-esteem

People with low self-esteem are fairly easy to spot. They show certain signs of low self-esteem, which are:

• Negative attitude towards oneself: lack of love, respect, self-worth, etc.
• Choosing, surrounding yourself and establishing relationships with people who will treat a person according to his personal self-esteem: not love him, criticize, humiliate, etc.
• Constant complaints about circumstances, life, the inability to change anything.
• Calling yourself weak, unlucky, etc.
• Calling pity from others.
• Dependent behavior on the attitude of surrounding people. It can be hurt, offended, spoil the mood, etc.
• Remark in other shortcomings that he himself possesses.
• Blaming others for their own troubles in order to shift responsibility to them.
• The desire to be weak and sick in order to receive from people the attention and care that he does not receive when he is healthy.
• unkempt appearance. Posture and gestures are indecisive, withdrawn, closed.
• Constantly finding flaws in yourself.
• Attitude to extraneous criticism as proof of one's own inferiority, insult, emotional wound.
• Lack of friends.
• Familiar, boastful, demonstrative behavior in order to hide a negative attitude towards oneself.
• Inability to make a decision.
• Inability to perform a new action because there is a fear of making a mistake.

How to get rid of low self-esteem?

High and low self-esteem are extremes that people fall into. When faced with failure, inflated self-esteem instantly falls, and when success is achieved, a person suddenly begins to feel omnipotent. This indicates an instability of self-esteem, which will not allow a person to fully live. How to get rid of low self-esteem?

You can seek the help of a psychologist on the site site, or you can independently cope with the problem under consideration. Psychologists give such advice:

1. Start celebrating your strengths. Focus more on them. In order not to go to an overestimated self-esteem, you should see your strengths and weaknesses, treating both sides of your personality normally.
2. Please yourself. Finally start living for your own pleasure. You should not give up your duties and work, but you should not give up those hobbies that bring you happiness.
3. Love yourself. Love is about accepting yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses. You - a common person, which may have flaws along with advantages.
4. Take care of your appearance. It is not necessary to make yourself a top model or go under the surgeon's scalpel. It is enough just to appreciate your natural, natural appearance and make it attractive.
5. Train willpower, which can be done through sports, self-control, etc.
6. Change your thinking to a positive one. Get less immersed in bad thoughts. You may have them, but let good thoughts fill your head.

Outcome

Low self-esteem is not much better than high self-esteem. A person constantly lives in his own illusions, which prevent him from adequately seeing himself and evaluating the behavior of others. Often other people take advantage of this, which leads to a sad outcome when a person is again faced with disappointments. To prevent this from happening, you need to see yourself in a real light and evaluate your potential objectively, taking all your advantages and disadvantages on an equal footing.