Very often, people around do not understand and do not want to listen to each other, remain indifferent to the problems of loved ones. This is how loneliness is born. A lonely person feels depressed and withdraws into himself. You can feel abandoned not only alone with yourself, but also in a crowd of people. Psychologists know a few effective ways how to make a person throw off the shackles of this unpleasant feeling and feel happy.

In any, even the strongest couple, a wife and husband can move away from each other. As a result, partners may have doubts about whether to continue the relationship.

An individual can feel lonely in a relationship when his opinion is not listened to. It happens that during a family quarrel there is understatement, omissions remain. In order not to spoil the relationship, the partners do not raise some contentious issues, and they remain unexplained. Misunderstanding between people is the cause of disappointment in loved ones, and subsequently feelings of deep loneliness. Sometimes these emotions are difficult to notice and recognize, so others do not always see that a person needs help and support.

The reason for the appearance of this oppressive feeling may be that the partners, being married, cease to give each other enough attention and time. Each of them requires personal time, and this need is extremely individual. On this basis, mutual claims may arise, and strong disagreements may arise. Misunderstanding appears when one partner adjusts to the other and does not talk about his own desires and needs. This causes a feeling of loneliness even next to a loved one.

Often there are situations when a man and a woman in the family simply have nothing to talk about. Each person in a couple has their own interests and personal affairs, and communication becomes more and more superficial. If the relationship fits this model, the likelihood of a breakup is high.

Relationships can be saved, but this will require the desire and effort on the part of both partners. To restore communication between lovers, you need to pay attention to the following points:

1. 1. Acceptance of a partner as he is, with all his desires and aspirations. No need to try to remake it, force it to adapt, it destroys the relationship. In any situation, you need to be able to look for a common solution that suits both.
2. 2. Understanding the value of relationships. You need to be attentive to close person, spend enough time with him and support him in any difficult situation. It is necessary to be able to listen to a partner, to be open and sincere, not to hide negative emotions and feelings.

In relationships with others

A person thinks he is lonely when he is bored or sad at heart. People who have been without for a long time human communication, become closed, obsessed with their anxieties and experiences. If you do not fight this serious condition, it can worsen and develop into depression.

A happy life of a person is made by strong and harmonious relationships with other people. Psychologists give the following tips on how to get rid of loneliness:

• You need to be responsive. Experts advise to fulfill the small requests of others, then they will be grateful and begin to appreciate the one who helped them. Being needed is very important. In this case, people will always be nearby, ready, in turn, to substitute a friendly shoulder.
• Communicate more. You need to meet close people, maintain good and sincere relations. You should not refuse meetings with colleagues, like-minded people, because among them you can find true friends. No need to be afraid of people, complex and shy. In order to attract everyone's attention and win over others, you need to gradually develop self-confidence. You should start the day with a positive attitude, smile more often.
• Healthy sleep. The cause of gloom, fatigue, unwillingness to establish contact with others may be sleep disturbance. In this case, psychologists advise taking a warm shower before going to bed or resorting to any other procedure that relaxes. To sleep well, you need to restore the regime. You should always go to bed at the same time. As a result, a habit will form, and you can forget about the problem with sleep.
• Favourite hobby. Having a hobby helps to use free time with benefit. If such an activity has not yet been found, this is an occasion to try something new, interesting. As ideas, you can use a gym, a needlework club, book lovers, etc. In such places, you can make new acquaintances and find people with similar interests, meet a future boyfriend or girlfriend.

I'm lonely... I'm so lonely... It's sad, boring, painful... LONELY... I live in a city where there are hundreds of thousands, millions of people, and at the same time I'm, as if in a vacuum, I'm alone. How is this possible? Why? For what? And most importantly - what to do to get rid of it discomfort own loneliness.

“I am very lonely” - if this thought comes to mind, then something needs to be changed in life. Man is a social being and only in society, among other people, can he be truly happy. It does not matter the number of people who will be surrounded - one true friend or a hundred acquaintances - the main thing is to communicate, contact with outside world not only at work, but at the behest of the heart and soul, was. If it is not there, this is unbearable suffering for any mentally normal person.

Loneliness - a disease of the inhabitants of modern cities?

On the Internet you can find a lot of questions about loneliness. Along with dating sites, many projects and forums are being created for those who suffer from loneliness. And although people are trying to meet each other, to support each other, there is still an increase in people who feel their loneliness very, very sharply.

I am a man without friends. I am very lonely. I don't even have close friends. You have no idea how difficult it is to meet every day alone, to know that no one will call and ask how you are doing. The people I interact with are work colleagues. How hard it is to live knowing that no one in the world will support you, touch you, and that all I can do is go to the movies alone, ride transport alone, go somewhere alone. Bored, sad and lonely. It hurts unbearably. Every day to think that no one needs you, that there is no friend, girlfriend, there is no one for miles around. It hurts, it hurts terribly. It hurts to such an extent that you begin to communicate and stay with people as far from you as your soul goes to your heels, and you don’t know how to get out of this hole. Loneliness is pain. The one that no one feels or sees is real. Problems at work, in the family - nothing compares to this feeling of loneliness. Every day I do not want to fall asleep because tomorrow is the same gray worthless day in complete despair and loneliness.

A person who is lonely understands that this is a negative state that brings suffering. Naturally, he wants to get rid of loneliness, like a disease. Get well and be like everyone else normal people: make friends, communicate, enjoy life and share this joy with others. That's just how to do it? All attempts to go outside do not work, relationships do not stick. Finding a loved one fails, making friends also fails. The situation is aggravated with age, the older a person becomes, the more difficult it is for him to find someone: the same age already have their families, their downed companies, into which it is very, very difficult for a new person to fit in.

Not so long ago, he was writhing with a heart attack, as you know, he remained alive ... then it seemed that this was apparently the end (only the word was completely different in my head) ... it was not scary and not offensive to die, it was a shame what to remember- then there is nothing, no fun and joyful moments with anyone nearby, nothing, and no one is near because I am such a lonely or worthless person, but because it so happened in life that all life happens and passes you by ...

In the end, loneliness becomes such an unbearable burden that a person sometimes even thinks about suicide. "I'm lonely" - it's really scary to understand. This burden, like a stone, crushes, suffocates, angers, irritates. In general, it causes the whole range of negative sensations that only a person has.

If you are lonely, the reason is always hidden in the subconscious. It is very easy to find friends, acquaintances, loved ones. The main thing is to understand yourself and understand what to do with yourself.

Let's try to figure out from the point of view of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology why some people, unlike others, fall into the trap of loneliness and can even hang there for a long time, literally until the end of their lives. And most importantly, how to get out of this state.

Because absolutely everyone can get out of this state, without exception.

Do you want to know more about human psychology? Do you want to finally become a happy person? We invite you to attend trainings on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. The introductory part of the lectures is absolutely free and available to everyone at

For an extrovert, learning to love solitude is extremely difficult, because they get energy from being in the company of people. But if such a situation has happened when it seems that there is no one around, then you should not take this as an indication of the worst period in your life. These few books will teach you how to be alone and find strength in that loneliness.

1. "Lonely City" - Olivia Lane

You can find yourself lonely anywhere, but it is especially difficult to endure in a city where millions of people live. It would seem that cities exist for this, so that we are never left alone. But loneliness does not require physical solitude - it's all about the lack of connection, closeness and similarity with others. The author of the book examines the art of loneliness in detail through the works of Andy Warhol, Edward Hopper and David Wojnarowicz. She understands why we are afraid to be alone, and looks for ways to overcome this restless feeling.

2. "Their Eyes Have Seen God" - Zora Neil Hurston

The main character is a smart girl who finds her happiness and tragically loses it. The book was made into a movie with Halle Berry. Jenny is fighting for the right to her life and is looking for a place for herself in a world dominated by men. Despite all the tragedies that happen to the girl in the course of the story, she still finds love and retains her fortitude.

3. “Wild. A perilous journey as a way to find yourself." - Sheryl Straid

The main character lost her mother, her marriage was destroyed, and she herself got involved with a drug addict, from whom she accidentally became pregnant. To make things right, she embarks on a dangerous journey on foot that will radically change her life. The emotional story of a woman who, alone, overcomes her own fears and corrects mistakes, is great for finding courage in herself.

4. "Get Stronger" - Bren Brown

We diligently cross out bad memories from our heads, although it is the memory of long-standing suffering that allows us to find support in life and test our own strengths. We avoid our weaknesses and shortcomings, hiding them deep inside. The bestseller by psychologist and sociologist Brené Brown will help you figure out how to become yourself and find advantages in your own shortcomings and imperfections.

5. "Practical guide for those who want to get lost" - Rebecca Solnit

Rebecca Solnit is best known for her book Men Who Explain Everything. It is about the phenomenon of mansplaining - this is when men condescendingly and patronizingly explain things that they do not understand. Her Handbook is an excellent collection of essays outlining critical conditions after traumatic events. Rebecca studies the feeling of loneliness and how people behave in an unknown place and in incomprehensible situations.

6. "The Year of Magical Thinking" - Didion Joan

The book covers the period of Didion's life between the loss of her husband and daughter - these tragedies occurred in just two years. She writes about how her world is falling apart, as well as how she was looking for the meaning of life when it seemed that there was no longer any meaning.

7. "Little lights everywhere" - Celeste Ng The main character Mia Warren lives in self-isolation with her daughter. Her loneliness is a defense mechanism, and remembering her past will help redefine what we call "being alone." The writer's debut book has been translated into 16 languages, and the new novel promises to become a bestseller.

On the night when best friend raped Eden, her whole world collapsed. Suddenly, she is no longer the glowing girl everyone once knew. During her four years of study, she shows how fear, shame and loneliness can ruin a life. But this book also teaches that we always have a choice and the opportunity to find our own path in life.