Life coach Shannon Whaley quit many times and blamed herself for it. Only years later, she realized that she was doing everything right.

I went to graduate school once and dropped out. Intuitively, I felt that this was not for me. My parents were terribly upset: I was supposed to become the first doctor of science in the history of the family.

I met a man for three years, loved him with all my heart, imagined a joint future: a wedding, children, a common home. However, he had a passion - alcohol, so I left him with a broken heart.

I went to a great stylist school and got a job at one of the leading salons in Seattle. But at work I was miserable as never in my life. I did not even have time to apply for resignation: they themselves decided to fire me.

In 2011, everything was ready for the move: things were packed, furniture was sold, a job was found in San Diego. But at the very last moment, I changed my mind. I quit my job before I even started and started unpacking boxes. I felt that something was wrong. After living in Seattle for 12 years, in 2013 I nevertheless returned back to San Diego, to my family. And again something was wrong. An inner voice said: this is a bad decision.

Suddenly the opportunity arose to move to the Cayman Islands. Relatives were very upset: they were waiting for the moment when I would be there again. One part of me felt terrible, the other felt great relief.

Ask yourself the question: what no longer brings pleasure and benefit?

Time after time I felt like a failure. I knew I was being judged and I felt guilty. I stayed in a relationship for too long because I was embarrassed to admit it didn't work out again. Years passed, I remained unhappy. I got divorced at 23 - what a shame! At the age of 25, I was alone again. And again at 30. Am I going to die alone? Alone again at 32. This went on until I stopped looking around at others for approval. At some point it dawned on me: I'm not a loser. I'm her complete opposite. I am strong and brave.

I had the courage to leave what I do not need. I listened to my inner voice. Sometimes it took several years to admit: everything has broken down and it won’t get better, I’m no longer in my place.

But all the decisions eventually got me to where I am now. Turns out they were right. I reevaluated situations and changed course. I dropped out of school, left the “ideal” man who turned out to be unbearably boring in reality, I was fired from a prestigious salon - perhaps for some these are signs of failure. But that characterizes them more than me.

I no longer seek approval from others. I am a warrior, I am a fighter. I am brave and determined. I am a strong woman. I do what I want.

Ask yourself the question: what no longer brings you pleasure and benefit? Work, relationships, friendships, religion? What excuses prevent you from following your dreams, which is like a scratchy wool sweater that you want to take off as soon as possible?

When is it time to change something?

When deep down you know that the path you are walking no longer leads to the goal.

When what you do no longer brings you joy. Moreover, it is unpleasant for you to even think about it.

When anxiety and depression undermine your physical health.

When you complain to yourself and others about life all the time. When you look in the mirror and say, "I can't believe this is my life. How did I get here?

Give yourself permission to leave behind what you no longer need. Your new self will thank you for it.

about the author

Shannon Whaley- life coach, helps entrepreneurs build a business that suits their true self.

Seeing a person in front of you, and not his bank account, is normal for a healthy person - one that is not traumatized by hunger, poverty and fear for its future. And therefore, such women easily enter into relationships with men whose standard of living is several times lower than her own. It doesn't matter when you have such hands, such a voice and such... hmm... brain.

She herself is not a banker, she just completed her studies and worked up to a salary of a couple of thousand dollars, and he has all the income of five hundred at the most, and even then irregularly, but my God, what's the difference ?! When two souls meet, two intellects, two bodies that are attracted to each other, what does the bucks have to do with it?!

These novels are especially good in the summer, when you can walk around the city for long evenings, snacking on ice cream in a glass - just like in childhood! - kissing on the benches and chatting about everything in the world. By winter, the body begins to demand warmth, comfort and hot food, and the first dates most often take place in a cafe. And one day the woman starts to notice something.

No, he doesn't really want to go to the cafe, unless you insist. No, he is full and there will be only tea. He criticizes the local cuisine and does not recommend ordering hot dishes. Yes, in a neighboring institution, too, everything is bad. He hates Italian, Japanese and French food, but in the diner it turns out to be much tastier for him.

Even the most narrow-minded woman will gradually guess that he is saving. And her heart will be filled with tenderness: the poor boy is trying to entertain me, and I am pulling the last money out of him!

“Oh, I forgot to put on my watch.
She looked at him searchingly.
"And you didn't pawn them by any chance?"
He blushed again.
- Not. I was in a hurry to get dressed.
You only had to look at his tie to see that it wasn't. He lied to her. He pawned his watch to invite her to dinner. A lump formed in Julia's throat. She was ready, on the spot, to squeeze Tom in her arms and kiss his blue eyes. She adored him.
"Let's go," said Julia.
(Somerset Maugham, Theatre)

The heroine of Maugham, her boyfriend was fit for sons, but mature husbands in such situations can cause tenderness if a woman is very in love.

He is unusual, and his values ​​are sublime, he is free from conventions and mercantile goals!

On this high wave, the action quickly turns to the stalls, and now you are already lovers, you no longer have to wander the streets, you can spend time with greater benefit.

But not for months. Full-fledged adult relationships need variety - I want joint walks, travel, intellectual experiences in the form of new performances, exhibitions and films. And, yes, you need to have lunch somewhere too.

People have not been shy about each other for a long time, a woman knows about his problems with money and understands the situation: either he feeds her an ice cream hamburger at home before a walk, and this is until the evening, or he still leads to a cafe on the way, but then eats kefir with a long loaf for a week . What will a decent woman choose? She will say the eternal: “Lord, what nonsense, let me feed you!” “It wasn’t enough for you to pay for me! If you really want to, buy yourself something, but I'm not hungry.

And now you are already in a situation where your love is sitting in front of you and swallowing noisily, and you are eating a steak. Great, just great.

And then the negotiations begin. Let me pay now, and you next time? Take at least a side dish, it won't ruin me. Do you want half? She learns to order extra dishes, eat a little and give him most of it - “something is not very good for me, please save me from this cutlet!”.

During meetings with friends, he quietly passes him a thousandth bill under the table. Yes, you never know tricks you can think of to save his pride. Here are just a natural physiological process, food, has become a disturbing ritual that takes too much attention. But there are still the mentioned exhibitions, performances and, God forbid, trips ahead. There is only one way out, or walk and ride alone, or pay for tickets and night taxis yourself.

And this is fair, I think: you are imposing on a person a standard of living that he cannot afford and, moreover, does not need for nothing - so why should he pay for it? He downloads movies for free, traveling around the country, spending the night with friends, and not in hotels, but he didn’t give a damn about abroad, which he didn’t see there. So you created the problem yourself, and pay off.

So it will be honest, but for some reason, I don’t know why, but your relationship begins to crumble. The man seems to calmly accept the situation, but becomes irritable in small things. You resent him with your plans to buy a new car, with your idiotic iPhone 6+, and he doesn’t like this hotel either, why did you rent a kennel on Nevsky Prospekt when his friends on Veteranov Avenue have an excellent sofa in the kitchen and they will also feed you homemade borscht. You don’t know how to cook like that, even if you try, poor thing.

The hotel on Nevsky, by the way, is really a kennel - you have to pay for two, and the quality of the service that you have to choose is steadily declining. But that's not why you break up. The situation is not unbearable for you - you still know that a person is more important than money. But the man can't handle it.

I don’t know what eats him up: gender stereotypes, low self-esteem, which whispers that he was bought, and inexpensively, or some other complexes, but he begins to get angry with himself and gradually transfers his rage to you.

You do not respect him, do not appreciate him, suppress him. Sooner or later, he will give you an example of some meek creature that looks into his mouth, but does not count the fillings, but simply considers him Santa Claus with a bag of gifts. And yes, you can delight her with a street donut and a glass of ice cream.

On Facebook, when I was discussing this topic with friends, one girl said an amazing thing: “... I realized that a person should be your size so that you do not have to become smaller, so as not to annoy him. It's complicated. It's like living in a house where the ceiling is just below your height, it's a little uncomfortable all the time, and then there's so much discomfort that all you have to do is get out, so as not to stay with your head pulled into your shoulders for the rest of your life.

And this, as you understand, is not about income - it's about the inner ability to bring gifts and joyfully accept them. About the confidence of a man that a person is still more important than money, his high self-esteem and the presence of other virtues, except for a fat wallet and macho pride. If all this does not happen, the relationship is doomed.

What if it happened?

Then we see excellent happy marriages, where a woman is better able to earn money, and a man has a lot of other virtues - he knows how to be a support, protection, a good father, an equal partner.

But you never know what this person is valuable if he knows how to respect himself and does not measure his importance with money.

But there are not so many such people, both men and women, among us, so these marriages are rare. But their existence gives many hope that the next "poor boy" is actually "above it all" and very, very free. Well, you never know, but suddenly.

This program is suitable for everyone, both men and women. With its help, you will not only lose weight, but also increase muscle mass, and this is very important when losing weight. You do not need special equipment, a visit to the gym, only your desire.

What is required for this program? First, the availability of free time. You will need 45-60 minutes to get started. Over time, increase the duration of classes to 200 minutes. The main thing is gradualness, do not rush. Another important point is sufficient water intake.

Proper nutrition is also important! Remember this. Here is the plan to follow.

Monday

• 25 seconds of sitting against the wall;
• 15 seconds plank;
• 5 push-ups;
• 35 jumps from the position of the legs together, arms lowered into position, legs apart, arms up;
• 25 twists in the prone position;
• 15 lunges;
• 10 times the swing of the press;
• 10 leg loops while running in place.

Tuesday

• 10 squats without lifting your feet;
• 10 jumps from the position of the legs together, hands lowered into position, legs apart, arms up;
• 10 pushups;
• 25 lunges;
• 35 times of swinging the press;
• 45 seconds of sitting against a wall;
• 30 second planks;
• 20 leg loops while running in place.

Wednesday

• 15 squats without lifting your feet;
• 30 times the swing of the press;
• 35 seconds of sitting against the wall;
• 50 jumps from the position of legs together, arms lowered into position, legs apart, arms up;
• 25 leg loops while running in place;
• 25 lunges;
• 40 second planks;
• 10 pushups.

Thursday

• 35 squats without lifting your feet;
• 20 twists in the prone position;
• 50 lunges;
• 30 second planks;
• 50 times press swing;
• 60 seconds of sitting against the wall;
• 35 lunges;
• 25 jumps from the position of legs together, arms lowered into position, legs apart, arms up;
• 20 pushups.

Friday

• 25 squats without lifting your feet;
• 40 times of swinging the press;
• 60 second planks;
• 30 twists in the prone position;
• 60 lunges;
• 55 jumps from the position of legs together, arms lowered into position, legs apart, arms up;
• 45 seconds of sitting against a wall;
• 50 leg loops while running in place;

And here is the cardio load plan for each day:

1. 30 seconds of fast running, 30 seconds of jogging (5 sets);
2. 35 seconds of fast running, 45 seconds of jogging (6 sets);
3. 45 seconds of fast running, 60 seconds of jogging (7 sets);
4. 50 seconds of fast running, 45 seconds of jogging (8 sets);
5. 55 seconds of fast running, 30 seconds of jogging (7 sets);
6. 60 seconds of fast running, 45 seconds of jogging (6 sets);
7. 65 seconds of fast running, 60 seconds of jogging (5 sets);
8. 70 seconds of fast running, 45 seconds of jogging (6 sets);
9. 75 seconds of fast running, 30 seconds of jogging (7 sets);
10. 80 seconds of fast running, 45 seconds of jogging (8 sets).

Image copyright Thinkstock

Do not rush to spend astronomical amounts on a second education. Perhaps the desired course from the best university in the world is already available on the Internet. And absolutely free. studies educational platforms and the opportunities they provide.

When Stanford University graduate Luis Ochoa decided to transition from investment banking analyst to corporate strategist, he didn't follow the beaten path.

Instead of studying for an MBA program, he took several free courses in Strategic Planning and Financial Accounting on the Coursera educational platform. AT last years such online courses open to the general public (MOOC - Massive Online Open Courses) are rapidly gaining popularity around the world.

"These courses laid the foundation for my transition to work in corporate strategy at OppenheimerFunds," says the 29-year-old New Yorker. "I no longer need an MBA: I found exactly what I was looking for."

Ochoa is not alone in his choice. All more people choose MEPs, hoping that such courses will be their ticket to a new professional life, or at least a pass to the next career level. A ticket for which you don't have to pay in time or money, unlike traditional university degrees.

The main attraction of MOOC courses is that they usually do not require payment. In addition, they are available anywhere in the world - it is enough to have a computer and Internet access. Universities in various cities around the world: Stanford and Princeton, London and Melbourne, Bocconi University, Shanghai Jiao Tong University and many others - create their own MOOC courses.

Online courses are video recordings of lectures plus platforms for online discussions - forums where you can ask the teacher a question and exchange views with other students.

There are courses that, for a very moderate fee, provide their graduates with a certificate or qualification certificate.

And some companies combine interconnected courses in certain areas of business or technology into a single educational package - it turns out a kind of mini-faculty with quite affordable rates.

Employers are puzzled

Now it's up to the little things: to make sure that employers take a closer look at online courses and appreciate them.

"Company representatives still often ask us how effective MEP courses are, however, according to our observations, businesses are becoming more favorable towards this form of training and are more willing to see it as a source of missing qualified personnel," says Sebastian Thrun, head of the online education platform Udacity, which is headquartered in Mountain View, Calif. "When recruiting candidates for a job, the company often looks for people with specific qualifications. MEP can provide those qualifications, it doesn't require a master's degree."

A Bainbridge Strategy Consulting survey found that in the US, only a third of recruiters know what MEP is. About half of the executives and managers surveyed by CarringtonCrisp said they were "not sure what qualifications MEP courses can provide."

"The people responsible for recruiting and the youth who make up the audience of online courses belong to different generations," says Andrew Crisp, director of the London-based market analysis company CarringtonCrisp. educational services. “The staff is being recruited by older people who got their university degrees 10 or more years ago and have a vague idea of ​​how much higher education has changed in that time.”

Employers who understand how the MOOC system works tend to be quite positive about it. More than half of the Bainbridge survey participants said they began to pay attention to the information about the completion of the MEP courses in applicants' resumes, and 60% believe that the MEP courses behind them are "a fairly reliable indicator of a person's qualifications or knowledge."

Steve Coman, Head of Human Resources at Celanese, has so far not seen information about completion of online courses in applicant questionnaires, but would be interested in such information, as it indicates that the candidate “continues to strive for professional growth and regards education as a necessary condition for such growth.

With an MBA already, Koman is now taking four Coursera MBA courses from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, seeking both to brush up on his knowledge and skills and earn his certification.

"I'm already feeling the benefits of these courses at work," he says. "Now I'm more comfortable discussing budgets and costing with the financial group. I'm quite able to contribute constructively to the discussion."

Nano degree

Even traditional higher education programs have begun to use the MEP platform, although in this case the word "mass" is not quite applicable to it, since there is an entrance selection and tuition fees. Georgia Institute of Technology launched a master's course in computer science based on the Udacity platform this year, and so far more than 1,000 students have been enrolled.

"One of the criteria for success should be the employment of graduates, but we are confident that they will be in demand among employers, since the curriculum is the same as in our full-time course," says Zvi Galil, dean of the College of Computer Science.

For education in the MEP format, students will pay less than 7 thousand US dollars. The full-time course will cost students almost $45,000.

Some technology companies provide financial and other support for MOOC courses. The most active in this regard, perhaps, can be recognized as the corporation AT&T. She has donated $2 million to the Georgia Institute of Technology for the development of a master's program in computer science and is collaborating with the Udacity platform to develop special programs from the Nanodegree series (that is, a scientific nanodegree. - Ed.). The course includes subjects such as web programming and mobile application development.

"We need more high-skilled data scientists, we need more engineers and programmers, and these online courses can bring in better talent," says Scott Smith, senior vice president of human resources at AT&T. The company expects to recruit both graduates of the Georgia Institute of Technology and people who studied independently under the Nanodegree program - first for an internship, and then for permanent job. In addition, AT&T sends some of its employees to study at the Institute of Technology programs and Nanodegree courses.

Employers are naturally most attracted to a series of three to four interrelated MEP courses in business or technology, but even one course can help you get comfortable in a new field of activity. Pablo Philipps, who worked at Trader Joe's grocery store, landed a junior application developer position at Fusion Marketing, mentioning an edX-based computer science course in his resume.

“The MOOC format is great for teaching programming and computer science,” says the 27-year-old developer, who majored in philosophy in college and now wants to take some more online courses. “When I started working in a new specialty, I realized one important thing: a programmer must learn constantly - this is the only way to stay in this profession.

Perception problems

The creators of the largest MOOC platforms understand the need to inform employers as widely as possible about online courses. In addition, every effort should be made to overcome the negative stereotypes associated with this learning format. It is known that only 5% of students, or even less, of those who signed up for online courses reach graduation certificates.

However, the percentage of students who complete the entire course of study increases significantly if students put anything on the line - if they pay a certain amount to receive a certificate, acquire some special skills, or receive certain services - even if this payment is purely symbolic. For example, for $150, the Udacity platform provides additional features, including personal tutors and access to telephone support services - in a word, help in mastering the educational material. As a result, according to Udacity, the proportion of students who completed the entire course from beginning to end reached 60%.

Coursera has partnered with LinkedIn to enable students to include MOOC courses on their online resumes. In addition, for the past six months, Coursera has been working with companies to encourage them to become more involved in the educational process, such as providing terms of reference for final qualification projects. Thus, students of programming courses based on the Android platform will create applications, the best of which will be included in the Google Play application store.

Julie Stiglitz, director of business development and international marketing at Coursera, said: "Projects like this are very helpful for the development of MOOC. Students get the opportunity to create their own portfolio, which can be presented to a potential employer, showing what they have learned."

Most MOOC students already have a bachelor's or master's degree and are looking to gain practical skills to secure better career prospects. Whether MEP courses can help less educated people with low incomes improve their living situation is not yet clear.

For those who attend MEP courses because they cannot afford full-time higher education, was devoted to a small study undertaken by staff at the University of Michigan. There was no evidence that e-learning in such cases promotes employment.

“However, the MEP courses opened up areas for these people that they had never had the slightest idea about before,” notes Tavanna Dillahunt, an associate professor at the Michigan School of Informatics. “And helped them gain confidence in the need to study further.”

Kryon. Fate can be changed! How to turn any life scenario into reality Schmidt Tamara

Times have changed - you no longer need to be afraid of your power

And now I want to tell you something extremely important. You should not reproach yourself, your earthly parents, or other people for having erroneous limiting beliefs. There is no fault in this. But there is a serious reason for this. The reason for this is that during your childhood, when the basic limiting beliefs were laid down, the energy of the Earth was very different. This energy did not contribute to the development and maintenance of the feeling dignity in people. Do you know why? Because there were still few people who followed the path of the Spirit.

Yes, dear ones, your planet Earth is responding to the movements of the Spirit of people, and you know it. In the too dense energy of the Earth at that time, you simply could not see the truth about yourself - that you are powerful Divine Beings. That is why your power has been hidden from you - hidden by those very limiting beliefs. Oh, they were passed down to people from generation to generation ... And this had its own meaning, although hidden from you.

Remember the history of mankind. Yes, it is full of wars, conflicts, people fighting each other. This was because people did not know about their Divinity. And imagine what would happen if people at the same time received full access to their power! If there were no limiting beliefs that prevent this power from manifesting. Your already tragic story could end in a tragic end. We wouldn't be talking to you right now, dear ones!

You understand? Now is the time to get rid of limiting beliefs - but not for all people, but only for those who are moving towards Divinity with an open heart and pure intent. Only for those who sincerely accepted the light and love of God as the law of their lives. Only such people - you, the lights - will be able to free yourself from limiting beliefs. Because only God helps them to get rid of their mistakes and delusions. And without the help of God, it is impossible to get rid of them. They can only be dissolved in the love and light of God - otherwise nothing!

Now that the energy of the Earth has changed - thanks to you! - become less dense, more transparent, you easily see the truth that your limiting beliefs are a mistake, and that in fact you are powerful, infinitely powerful! Now, when the very energy of the Earth is helping you to finally gain a sense of your own dignity, you no longer need restraining forces in the form of restrictions, prohibitions and hiding your true capabilities from you.

Dear ones, realize that you no longer need restrictions - because now you do not use your power to harm yourself, the Earth and humanity! Now your power is necessary for you to create your life with light and love - to create for the good, for the good of your own and of all souls in the Universe. You can stand up to your full height at any time, straighten your shoulders, straighten your neck, raise your head and say: “I am a majestic Divine being with limitless possibilities, for I am the love and light of God, and the love and light of God knows no limits and boundaries!”

I just want to warn you: deal with your true desires. You know that you are the Spirit, and the Spirit will not fulfill those desires that come from the ego. Yes, you are worthy, dear ones - worthy of all the best. You deserve to live in decent conditions, and you should not put up with squalid conditions. You deserve every day to receive everything you need for life.

But you don't have to burden yourself with excesses.

Excess usually requires the ego, but not the Spirit. Excess is something that does not benefit you, but only falls on your shoulders as an extra burden. I am not saying that you should give up your possessions and other goods of the material world. No, they shouldn't. I am not saying that you should be content with meager amenities. No, they shouldn't. But you must be free from the superfluous bonds with which the material world often entangles you. Do you understand? Decide for yourself what you need for a convenient, comfortable, prosperous life, and what will be an extra burden that interferes with your spiritual development, your enlightenment. Remove the restrictions that prevent you from getting what you need - and do only what is good for you!

Oh, I know dear ones, as you begin to let go of limiting beliefs, many of you will look around and say, “How could I tolerate such misery? How could I live in such unattractive conditions for so many years?” You will want to instantly change many things in your life. Rejoice in what you have seen and understood. Rejoice in the fact that you have seen the light and realized that you deserve the best, much better. You are a magnificent Divine being, called to create conditions of existence on Earth worthy of your greatness. Remember this, and boldly, without fear, go your own way!

We are always there for you, always ready to support you and love you immensely!

So it was, is, and will be.