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• Book 1 Well, how can you annoy an old unloved husband, an officer of the British colonial troops of India, an accurate and pedant, for whom honor is above all? No problem - you just need to steal the world's largest diamond from an ancient Indian temple, and let the colonel have a headache, how to survive the unfortunate fact that his wife turned out to be ... well, let's say ... not very scrupulous. Having carried out the abduction, young Arabella soon changed her mind about compromising her husband, but, unfortunately, too many people were interested in the fate of the unique stone. For a century and a half, the magnificent diamond passed from hand to hand to emerge in modern Poland. And if so, it would be naive to assume that Mrs. John would not be interested in the matter. Book 2 After all, I. Khmelevskaya spoke - you need to learn languages. She spoke to the devil in The Dead Man, but he still didn’t listen to the smart woman ... And not everyone has the abilities of Pani Joanna herself: “I don’t know languages, but I can explain myself in any.” In short, every cultured person should learn how twice two: without languages ​​you will not find any treasures. Don't even try. Here, in order to take possession, for example, of a diamond, without which there would be no "Diamond Story", you need to know at least English, French, German, Latin and Greek, not to mention Polish. And this is in the best case, because when it comes to big money, people will certainly appear who recognize only one language - the language of power. But our young heroines still manage to "make money with their own mind." What do you think the name of the main character is? That's right, John.
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• I thought. If I were not so angry for a variety of reasons, I would behave like normal person. But the anger in me just boiled, I hated the whole world, the woman, even my own willow, which, by God, had done nothing wrong to me in my life. True, once I tried to gouge out an eye, but then it was my own fault. ...
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• Almost all her life, the famous writer Pani Joanna lived in a cramped apartment on the fourth floor, in an old building without an elevator, with noisy neighbors. And finally, she moved into a cozy mansion. She would enjoy peace and comfort there, but no matter how. Right at the house of Pani Joanna, in her own garbage dump, the corpse of a red-haired woman is found. It quickly turns out that the victim is a well-known journalist, and in the past - a prosecutor. And the reputation of the former prosecutor during her lifetime was oh-oh-oh-oh! Most of all, the late Barbara Borkovskaya loved to show up in some public place and throw a drunken brawl there, she also loved to take bribes and insult decent citizens. So the prosecutor-journalist went to Pani Joanna with the aim of causing an ugly scandal. The writer would certainly have topped the list of suspects, if not for one small “but”. While the corpse of one Barbara Borkovskaya was lying in the garbage, another Barbara Borkovskaya appeared in the city - alive and healthy. Incredibly intrigued, Pani Joanna decides to unleash a strange story, behind which is a banal women's motive. And she succeeds with brilliance: while the police make a mistake after a mistake, Pani Joanna finds out the truth about the red doubles and realizes with horror that all the threads are drawn to her old house...
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• I. Khmelevskaya appears in this novel as the Polish Dick Francis. Gambling heroine John is not limited to playing in casinos and slot machine parlors. She is passionate about horses and racing. But, as she herself explains to beginners, winning does not depend on the horse or the jockey. The first horse to reach the finish line will be the one that the mysterious gambling tycoons have bet on. One can only guess who they are, the mafia from Lomzhin near Warsaw, the “new Russians”, high-ranking officials ... But one fine day, the machinations on the races suddenly stopped: the horses on the races began to come to the finish line exactly as expected! The best ones come first! Worst - last! For the Warsaw hippodrome, this is not just a miracle - it is extremely suspicious. It so happened that she stumbled upon the corpse of the last John in the barberry bushes right on the hippodrome and thus became involved in the investigation of the murder and scam. The police this time welcomes the participation of the restless heroine in the investigation...
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• John Khmelevskaya ENDLESS GANG This story had at least three beginnings, if not more. The first socio-political, one might say, historical. The second is of a private order, consisting of several sources. And finally, the third is my personal, chronologically at the latest. ...
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• Mafia is immortal? Only not in confrontation with Pani Joanna! If the famous detective took up the investigation, then the crime can safely rest. But this time, Pani Joanna's opponent is much more serious than some kind of mafia. Confronting her is the mysterious and sinister Pale Cholera! No one really saw this cholera, but the results of its activities are obvious - corpses and others. Once upon a time, in the famous detective story "All Red", Mrs. Ioanna already had to deal with one infection - with the White Worm, but how can any worm be compared with Pale Cholera! Enjoy the new detective by Joanna Khmelevskaya: humor, style and somersaults of the plot - everything is with him.
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• "A Big Piece of the World" is one of three books about the adventures of Warsaw schoolgirls Tereska Kempinskaya and Spoolka Bulkatówna. Energetic and completely independent, seventeen-year-old girls pack their backpacks and set off on a kayak trip. From the first lines it becomes clear that young ladies, like Pani Joanna, have a rare ability to get into history. Mysterious and dangerous.
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• John Khmelevskaya Big piece of the world Translated from Polish by N. Selivanova Spring this year began immediately and amicably in the middle of May and lasted only a few days, after which the real summer immediately came. The column of mercury in the thermometer crawled up and froze, not expressing the slightest desire to fall. The spring sun shone in a cloudless sky, brighter every day, hotter every hour, roasting the walls of houses, the earth and the air. By the middle of June, even the night had ceased to bring coolness. The weather finally settled down, the sun-hot world exuded heat and drenched in sweat. ...
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• Alicia's house, as always, is full of guests. Everyone is looking forward to receiving a new unfamiliar couple - the Butsky spouses. And here they are, but, God, how strange! Pan Vatslav does not close his mouth for a minute and sticks his nose into all holes, and Pani Yulia is silent like a fish, referring to her poor health. This wonderful couple begins to get on everyone's nerves, when suddenly Pan Vaclav disappeared. After a two-day search, his corpse is found in the lake and it is understood that the unfortunate pan, most likely, became a victim of a maniac. The inconsolable widow decides to start searching for the killer on her own...
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• Ioanna KHMELEVSKAYA VERSION ABOUT THE RESERVE Announcement "One corpse would be quite enough, but two dead men at once is already an obvious overkill ... Well, I got it right ..." Yes, Pani Ioann got it again. And two corpses is just the beginning. There will be more. This is a serious matter: we are talking about the search for a treasure, the value of which, in terms of modern zlotys, is calculated not even in millions, but in billions. ...
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• “One corpse would have been quite enough, but two dead men at once is already an obvious overkill ... Well, I was lucky ...” Yes, Pani John was again lucky. And two corpses is just the beginning. There will be more. This is a serious matter: we are talking about the search for a treasure, the value of which in terms of modern zlotys is calculated not even in millions, but in billions. Ioanna Khmelevskaya, of course, turns out to be the number one suspect with all the ensuing consequences: fingerprinting, a search of her apartment, car as well as the homes of relatives and friends. However, she seems to like all this fuss. “It’s good to be under suspicion when you’re not guilty of anything!” - our heroine exclaims and immediately begins her own investigation. According to her version, it turns out that a very nice girl with a difficult fate is involved in the case, who, by chance, ended up at the scene of the crime. The gold was nevertheless found, and Mrs. Khmelevskaya, to everyone's approval, is no longer so naive and does not require the immediate transfer of the treasure to the state treasury , "so that the Ministry of Finance writes itself a big bonus." Treasures have another, very worthy use.
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• “Everything is red” - so aptly Joanna translated the name of the place Allerod in Denmark from the Danish and, as they say, “croaked”. The name turned out to be prophetic. A mysterious murder takes place at a cheerful party of Polish friends. The unfortunate man tries to warn the mistress of the house Alicia about something very important, but does not have time ... Alicia becomes a target for a series of subsequent "unsuccessful" assassination attempts. By joining forces, Joanna and Alicia find the killer through logic, excitement and excellent knowledge of human nature. Of course, this book is not for lovers of "cool" detectives, although the number of "live" corpses is impressive. The novel primarily attracts the reader with its sparkling humor and irony. Joanna Chmielewska is able to see the irony and the grotesque in the most unusual situations. The novel "All Red" is rightfully recognized as one of the most striking and dynamic works of the Polish writer.
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• Fate was not too kind to Dorotka Pavlakovskaya. Her mother died in childbirth, and her father, having given his daughter his last name, considered his father's duty fulfilled and was not interested in a more dear child. So Dorotka was brought up by aunts, and there were three of them, and all of them were real harpies. They followed every step, took away every earned zloty, kept the girl on parcels - they only heard: give it, bring it. In general, neither give nor take - a modern Cinderella. Well, at least Dorotka's character was mild-mannered. But sometimes melancholy overcame: what kind of life is this? And then suddenly a letter from America: a certain Wanda Parker, the godmother of Dorotkin’s mother and, it seems, a millionaire, having lived for half a century in the States, set out to return to her homeland. And she has no relatives in Poland, the only close people are Dorotka and her aunts. Of course, the harpies were not happy with the visit of the old woman, in addition, she turned out to be with quirks. One little consolation - the millionaire immediately upon arrival made a will, signing off her wealth to them. True, the old woman is in good health, but ... And then suddenly - having barely made a will, the old woman dies. And, as it soon became clear, not by his death. What do you think is the first question of the investigation in such cases? That's right: who benefits? In general, "everyone is suspected."
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• Stasya Rutskaya is a girl with "big cockroaches in her head." More than anything else, she valued her ... virginity and rushed about with her like with a hand-written sack. Her future chosen one should have appreciated precisely this quality in her and be grateful to Stasya for life. But, as usual, things turned out differently. And now the guy is standing in the courtroom, he is accused of rape. And the judge is trying to figure out: is Stasya a victim of insidious girlfriends or a villain who planned to destroy an innocent guy?

Joanna Khmelevskaya(born Irena Barbara Kühn), writer, screenwriter, reporter. Born and lives in Warsaw. In Russia, she is known as the author of detective stories, but the list of her works also includes humorous manuals, feuilletons, books for children, and science fiction. Chmielewska is the owner of many literary awards, including the Prize of the Chairman of the Council of Ministers for creativity for children and youth (1989), two-time winner of the EMPIK JSC award (the largest media sales network in Poland) (2000, 2001).

Born in the family of a bank director. Joanna was brought up by women - a mother, a grandmother and two aunts. Ioanna was particularly influenced by her aunt Lucina, a journalist. She passed on a lot of useful knowledge to her niece.

In the autumn of 1939, due to German occupation Joanna had to drop out of school. At first, the same aunt Lyucina was engaged in school subjects with her, and then, in 1943, Khmelevskaya was sent to a boarding school at the monastery of the Resurrection of the Lord in Warsaw. After graduating from the gymnasium, already in post-war Poland, Khmelevskaya entered the Academy of Architecture.

Khmelevskaya graduated architectural academy and worked for several years in the specialty. But one day in France, she saw a chapel in Orly and realized that she would never create such a thing. Since then, Khmelevskaya has been earning her living as a writer: in total, she has written about 40 novels, the first of which, The Wedge, was released in 1964.

Joanna was officially married once, and from this marriage she has two children (both boys). In addition, for several years she lived with a man who, under the name of the Devil, acts in several novels. Well, all my life I had a passion for dazzlingly beautiful blondes, appearing in various works. She smokes a lot, loves to drive a car and is extremely gambling. Khmelevskaya's love for racing and casinos has served as the basis for more than one novel.

The writer claims that she learned to play cards before speaking. Her hobbies are bridge, tote, collecting amber, making beads from shells. And she also loves to travel. The descriptions of most of the countries in her novels are drawn from life.

In addition, she has purely feminine features - for example, she worries all the time about insufficiently styled hair and an imperfect figure.

In her novels, the heroine ages: after all, writing for 40 years on behalf of a 30-year-old woman is somewhat stupid. She loves people, loves to write simply about people, and not about unions and not about political passions.

Ioanna believes that the closest thing to the original of her books, oddly enough, was the Russian film What the Dead Said. In it, she really liked Marta Klubovich, who holds the whole film on her.

The writer travels a lot, out of principle she does not fly on airplanes. He loves horses, bets on horse races, plays in the casino. In Poland, she is one of the popular people who are most often besieged by the press.

The author has fantastic works. This is a novel "Beyond the Barrier" and a romance with a fantastic ending "Aliens in Garwolin". Just like animalistic fiction, you can define the cycle "Paphnutius" telling about the adventures of a bear cub.

To date, Khmelevskaya's bibliography contains more than 60 volumes of prose. Joanna Khmelevskaya's books have been translated into Russian, Czech, Slovak and Swedish.

09/23/2013 09:23 Guest: Khmelevskaya Joanna

Why are there so many grammatical errors in the text? No corrector? It's a pity.
Translations of early books made by Vera Selivanova are closer in sound to the original source, more precisely in the choice of words, do not contain errors. Current translations are like dashing interlinear translations.

26.01.2014 15:07 pelican.dp: Khmelevskaya Joanna

My God! She died ..... Blessed memory and the kingdom of heaven. Admirer of Pani Joanna and all her works.
I think she is the creator the best works ironic detective! And of course the translation of Vera Selivanova.

05.04.2014 07:11 ol-novo: Khmelevskaya Joanna

The most beloved and incomparable, real Woman, who gave the world so many unforgettable heroes and lengthened all her admirers, who laughed uncontrollably and without malice when reading her books, life for many months (and some even years)!
Blessed memory and the kingdom of heaven ...

11.10.2014 15:17 ilya_6767: Khmelevskaya Joanna

I read "All Red" for the first time long before computers and the Internet. Aloud, barely wiping tears from laughter. Then I re-read it in the circle of the company, under vodka and cigarette smoke in the "republic of united floors" ... everyone laughed. Since then, Joanna has been my favorite writer out of many thousands of others.
The soviet production of her "What the dead man said" was very saddened - they crap pure humor and sarcasm from the heart with the help of sticking out their dubious acting talents. Sparkling and stunning humor turned into a drag and antics ((
Py.Sy. As long as I'm alive, Joanna lives too! Thanks her.

08/02/2015 19:10 Guest: Khmelevskaya Joanna

Here, by God, I specially read Gromyko. Everything I found on this site. Everything is fine if you attach the title "for children and youth" on top. And Khmelevskaya is for us, old pepper shakers, to remember our childhood and youth. Make comparisons with your own perception of that reality... Who said that nostalgia is bad? It's even better now, really! I love her, her living characters, her attitude to life. And let the angels laugh!

01.02.2016 12:46 n.dan1948: Khmelevskaya Joanna

Khmelevskaya is the first ironic detective story that I read, published in a magazine. Then I already looked for her books and every time I got a lot of pleasure. Perhaps her last books seemed weaker to me, but I read her autobiography avidly.

13.08.2016 18:12 Guest: Khmelevskaya Joanna

Her first books began to be read around the beginning of the 2000s. Brought from Russia. I really liked her works. Everything was read with a bang. With one breath. In an instant. Books are light and not the same. It is a pity that there are no such writers as Khmelevskaya's bet. I read her books all the time. I take the print edition.

09.09.2017 14:23 via usd: Khmelevskaya Joanna

I read the first book by I Khmelevskaya "What the dead man said" at the end of the last century in Moscow and laughed as much as I had ever laughed. Then my friend read it and laughed too. Since then, I have bought and read her books. I really liked her subtle humor. I am very glad that her books can be read on this site.

11/30/2017 09:08 Guest: Khmelevskaya Joanna

I read my first work at the age of 15 - All Red. In Change, in my opinion, it was printed. I laughed like crazy!))) and after that I fell in love with Khmelevskaya's books. I tried not to read in the subway - people looked askance when it was impossible to restrain laughter))))))
Good memory to her!

02/06/2018 11:24 Guest: Khmelevskaya Joanna

The first book I read (late 90s) - "We are all under suspicion." Worked then in design institute. She brought it to work in order to please colleagues with especially exquisite passages. The whole team sobbed - some moments of our work were described so accurately. Then there were "What the dead man said" and "Everything is red." And then, in electronic form, everything else.
I am grateful that Khmelevskaya initially set the bar high with her works. After her, the Daryadonts and other riffraff were not quoted even as toilet paper.

Tormented by fans, Joanna Khmelevskaya, agreeing to a conversation with a correspondent, replied: "With pleasure, just find an interpreter." A Pole who happened to be nearby came to the rescue: "But the lady speaks Polish to you!" "Really!" Pani Joanna burst out laughing. "I'm so tired that I don't understand what language they speak to me and what language I speak myself."

- Why the ironic detective?

Yes, because it makes me laugh and entertains.

- And if you take such literature seriously?

I don't take anything seriously at all.

- Even to life?!

God, there are so many funny things in life! Even in the most tragic situations, you can find something fun, and then it becomes easier.

- Most of your characters - real people that exist outside of books. For example, Anita. Did she have a complaint about you putting her in jail in "All Red"?

Why? She liked it very much: Anita chose to be the perpetrator rather than the victim.

- Aren't you afraid that in the end one of your friends will kill you for being the hero of a detective?

I like to describe the realities, I am a reporter at my core, and I easily manage to create a fiction based on something specific. The easiest way is to "remake" acquaintances and friends ... Of course, I warn them in advance, and if someone is categorically against it, I leave the person alone. Of course, if it's not my enemy (laughs).

- When translating your books from Polish into other languages, do misunderstandings happen?

Most of my books are translated into Slavic languages. There were attempts to make translations into German, Italian, English, French, Danish, but in vain: either the books were not translated completely, or they were simply not understood. One day a Brazilian translator decided to publish a book in Portuguese. God, what's going on here! First, he wrote to me that my heroine was too old and too ugly for the Brazilian reader. I said, "Please make her a seventeen-year-old girl, the most beautiful in the world." Then he found a new obstacle: she lives with a man as a partner, without marriage, and this is unacceptable for Brazilian society. I said, "Well, let them have at least four marriages." But he still didn't get anything.

- In Russia, based on the novel "What the dead man said", a film was made, which finally saw the Polish audience. Your opinion?

This is one of the most successful film adaptations, because it most fully and accurately conveys the content of the book, which was not the case in other cases. Marta Klubovich played her role superbly, and the only thing that can be reproached for is that she somehow dresses unstylishly. But it's probably the director's fault.

- However, the plot of the film differs significantly from the content of the book. Some people like it, some don't. Does it upset you?

Since the film was shot for the Russian public, some changes have been made to the plot - some are better, others are worse. Some are downright terrifying. The most incredible digression from the content: the Brazilian mafia in a French castle sings Russian songs!!! Another moment that does not correspond to reality: the witness claims that he saw how the runaway heroine took out the trash can. But in Denmark, since the 60s, they have not known what a trash can is, because they throw garbage in plastic bags. And a man with a bucket would look as strange as if he were making his way through the crowd with a club. I didn't really like the men in the film. Domogarov - such a wonderful actor - was "killed" at the very beginning, the boss is too old ... As for the Polish heroes who appear at the end of the film, one, according to the book, is an interesting man, just no one, but who is handsome - well, I I just don't understand what she sees in him?!

- Your passion for gambling is known. Have you managed to visit Moscow casinos?

Naturally, I was not there - I did not have enough time or energy. But on occasion I would go there myself, of course, without any accompaniment.

- Detectives, intrigues, murders, and suddenly - cooking. Why did it happen?

The idea itself arose like this: after the book "Version in reserve", the heroine of which tried to feed the investigator in order to extract information from him, I received a huge number of letters where I was asked to tell how to cook this or that dish. I thought and wrote a special book. I am reproached: the recipes of the "Cookbook" are too expensive. Well, judge for yourself, is dumplings with cheese an expensive dish?

- Tell me, did you have any problems with censorship?

There was censorship when I started writing. A vivid example of this is the attitude towards my book "The Crocodile from Charlotte's Country". All the intrigue there was based on eavesdropping. I was told: "There is no eavesdropping in Poland and cannot be." I had to remake the book so that eavesdropping was conducted only among private individuals. In one novel, I used the expression "lousy money." I was told that such an expression should not be used because it smacks of anti-Semitism. You can write separately "lousy", separately - "money", but you can not write together - censorship does not allow. The book "Cursed Legacy" was not allowed to print because it seemed immoral. High-ranking people turned out to be criminals there, and in the end they were not punished. Another problem was with the book "Wardship". The hero escapes to the ship that is waiting for him. I was asked: "Whose ship was it? If Polish, then it is impossible." I said: "Okay, not Polish. Some foreign ship." - "What foreign?" - "Chinese". - "Well, what are you! Chinese is impossible: we have excellent relations with the Chinese People's Republic". - "German." - "We have just established excellent relations with Germany. This will not work. "I listed a few more states, but they all did not fit. As a result, the hero fled to a ship of an unknown country.

- Do you surf the Internet?

God forbid! I can't have Internet on my computer!

- Why?

At any moment someone can enter my computer. If I had two computers - please, but not the one on which I work.

- Are you afraid of burglars?

And the virus, and burglars, and people who wholeheartedly will interfere. And I like to work quietly.

Reference

Joanna Khmelevskaya (pseudonym), writer, screenwriter, reporter. Born and lives in Warsaw. Has two sons, two granddaughters. An architect by training. Graduated from the Warsaw Polytechnic Institute, Faculty of Architecture. Since 1970, he has been engaged only in literary work. The first book, The Wedge, was published in 1964. In Russia, she is known as the author of detective stories, but the list of her works also includes humorous manuals, feuilletons, books for children. Chmielewska is the owner of many literary awards, including the Prize of the Chairman of the Council of Ministers for creativity for children and youth (1989), two-time winner of the "EMPiK JSC" award (Poland's largest media sales network) (2000, 2001). To date, her bibliography contains more than 43 volumes of prose. Joanna Khmelevskaya's books have been translated into Russian, Czech, Slovak and Swedish.

The writer travels a lot, out of principle she does not fly on airplanes. He loves horses, bets on horse races, plays in the casino. In Poland, she is one of the popular people who are most often besieged by the press.

In 1962, the young architect Joanna wrote her first book, The Wedge. Gaining courage, she called the editor-in-chief of the Pshekroy magazine: “Only you can tell me if my book is worth it!” He, having read the manuscript, said: “Baby, immediately go to the Reader publishing house. Just dress up! Otherwise, they will decide that I patronize not a book, but a young girl ... ”

The next day, Joanna, in a short coat, clutching a preparation under her arm, appeared in the office of the editor-in-chief of the publishing house. And a week later, the entire staff of "Reader" knew that this short girl was not only a talented writer, but also a wonderful comedian. In 1964, "Wedge" was released. This first book was calling card writers. Soon, the film “The Cure for Love” was made based on the book.

The hopelessly in love heroine of the novel John, trying to find a cure for .., love, decides to act on the principle of "wedge by wedge" and starts a telephone flirtation with a mysterious stranger. As a result, she finds herself a secretary on the phone of a criminal gang pursuing incomprehensible goals. Fortunately, the unrequited love of the heroine turns out to be not so unrequited, but a criminal gang ... However, let's not get ahead ...