"There is always a way out - you just need to buy time to find it"

Yikido is a Japanese martial art of self-defense. The weak and small defeats the strong, large aggressor, turning his offensive power against him. In the past, a famous politician, and now an entrepreneur, Irina Khakamada successfully applies the principles of Aikido in politics and business. Her advice is especially useful if you are a small start-up company and your negotiating partners are business sharks who reject all your proposals out of the gate.

“I turned to aikido because I began to die in politics,” admits Irina Khakamada. “It’s very difficult when you are constantly attacked in debates, in negotiations - because you are a woman, because someone does not I like your appearance, nationality, and so on... I realized that in the end I would not be able to withstand this stream of aggression and I would die, not reaching my stellar dream: to become president or at least vice speaker.” (laughs). And then Irina remembered about aikido. Its main principle is saving vitality. You do not respond to aggression with aggression - this is certain death in the event of a collision with a stronger enemy. On the contrary, it is to your advantage to be attacked—and the more violently, the better. You win by taking advantage of someone else's aggression, returning his own blows to the enemy. Khakamada tried to transfer the principles of aikido into negotiation tactics and was convinced that they worked perfectly. Here is the result of her trial and error.

Red elephant method

When drawing up a draft agreement, the main point is to include those interests that you are willing to give up. This point needs to be formulated very clearly, prominently, clearly and frankly - so that only it catches the eye. This is your red elephant. Then there are less important elephant points - in them you enter interests that you would not like to give up, but in extreme cases you are ready to sacrifice them - not fatally. And what is vitally important to you should be formulated almost imperceptibly, modestly, like a technical detail. Bury it deep in the contract and discuss it at the very end of the negotiations.

Your task is to push the red bishops forward and bargain for them until exhaustion. Play for time, wear down your opponent. If you feel that you can’t handle it alone, take a lawyer with you, he will take the blow while you rest. When you no longer have the strength and everyone is tired, you say: “Listen, I gave in on the most important point, I gave in here and here. There remains some nonsense, a technical detail. Let’s sign already, I’m still small, and you are a big company,” advises Khakamada.

Force majeure button

Never sign anything on the fly, on your knees - the contract must be read by lawyers. If your back is against the wall (“Sign now or never!”), don’t give up. “Remember: in conditions of turbulence, everything is not the same as in ordinary life - there are not one or two exits, but many. “Twice two is not four, but as many as you like,” Irina shares her experience. “Even in the most deplorable situation there is a way out, the main thing is not to rush, you need a pause to find it.”

To say at such a moment: give me time to think means to anger your partners even more. Negotiations continue for many hours, but he (she), you see, needs time again. At such a moment, it is best to break off negotiations, citing unforeseen circumstances. Press the “force majeure” button on your phone. You hear a call - you need to run urgently. A fire in the office, a mother-in-law's angina attack, whatever. It’s better not to even explain anything - you jump up and run away. Partners understand: force majeure, and no one is offended by you. And you sit until the morning over the contract with your team and find a way out.

Womanizer, official, creator, manager, player

Analyze the behavior of those people with whom you most often deal in business, and formulate for yourself their main psychotypes. This way you can quickly predict the behavior of your partners and “mirror” them - achieve what you need, based on their interests. “Mirroring is not manipulation,” emphasizes Khakamada. “You do not trick a person into eating meat if he is a vegetarian. You just offer him a menu where the main dish is his interests and benefits, and yours are packaged discreetly, in the form of a salad.”

Here are five psychotypes of Irina Khakamada.

1. Bon vivant

This person loves the simple pleasures of life: food, alcohol, sex, crude humor. Most often, he has a puffy face, is overweight, and is dressed expensively but sloppily. How to mirror it: become a bon vivant for a while. Invite to a good restaurant, drink wine, talk about life, women, exchange a couple of jokes. Praise (sincerely), give compliments - bon vivants are vain. Bring a beautiful assistant with you (or an assistant, if this is a female version of a bon vivant). Ready to sign a contract? Take my word for it, sign it right away. Tomorrow he will forget about you and change his mind. In politics, Boris Nemtsov is a prominent representative of this psychotype.

2. Official

He may not be an official by position, but he has the mindset of an official. He speaks in boring nomenclatural language, is dry, and slightly tongue-tied. Gray, unmemorable appearance, dressed in no way - neither expensive nor cheap, the tie usually sits crooked. “Under no circumstances tell such a person that you are going to change the world for the better with your project,” warns Irina. “The official does not care about humanity, his motivation is material gain or career growth. This is where you start.” Promised to help? You don’t have to worry, he’ll keep his word and won’t change his mind—either tomorrow or in a month.

3. Creator

The opposite of an official. He speaks interestingly, with humor and imagery, and is dressed with taste. There is always some bright non-standard detail (highlight) in clothing - a scarf, bracelet, etc. With it, you can and should talk “about high things” - how your business will help make life better for everyone. But don’t delay the contract either: the next day he might change his mind, he’s in a mood. Examples of psychotype: Oleg Tinkov, Evgeny Chichvarkin.

“Remember: in conditions of turbulence, everything is not the same as in ordinary life - there are not one or two exits, but many”

4. Manager (technocrat)

With a good education, always cheerful, fit, knows the answers to all questions. Speaks quickly, logically, technically. Uses a lot of economic and IT words and Americanisms in his speech. He dresses very correctly - to the point of nausea. State your position just as clearly: first, second, third, insert fashionable terms. Talking to him for a long time, tediously, “humanitarianly” is a crime. Demonstrate knowledge of foreign languages ​​and terms. You can “buy” such a manager only with new interesting knowledge. Expand your vocabulary - listen to RBC TV channel. Examples of the psychotype: Mikhail Prokhorov, Dmitry Medvedev.

5. Player

It's difficult to calculate. Dressed eclectically, with great taste - not quite a creator, not quite a manager, sometimes an official. “It’s very difficult to negotiate with such a person: you feel that he’s slipping away, getting ahead of the curve, because he’s a player like you,” says Irina. “My advice: don’t get involved with a player when it comes to serious projects: rather In all, you will lose. If you still have to negotiate with such a partner, take more breaks, take your time, relax and act more by intuition. If your reaction speed is faster than his, you have a chance to win.”

Half of the deals that are beneficial for both parties fail because entrepreneurs are hampered by their ambitions and are haunted by their pride: “But I told him everything!” In Aikido negotiations, you solve problems without humiliating your opponent or yourself. Here is an example from life. My friend’s son, a student, created a conflict out of nowhere. During class, the teacher turned to him: “Wet a cloth, wash the board and write me a couple of formulas.” The young man replied: “According to our Constitution, I am a free person and I am not obliged to wipe the board. When it’s ready, I’ll write.” The teacher hated him for such impudence.

How could one act in the style of Aikido? Say with a smile: “According to our Constitution, I’m actually not obliged to wet a rag or wipe a board, but this time I’ll do it solely for the sake of you and respect for the subject.” You were complimentary about the subject and did not offend the teacher, but hinted that it was none of your business. They removed the conflict and maintained their self-esteem. Will they turn to you next time with such a request? Hardly.

Talk less - listen more carefully

Your task in Aikido negotiations is to say less yourself and give your opponent the opportunity to speak out. If you feel that he has “caught the wave”: he speaks brilliantly, confidently, strongly, but you don’t know how to argue, then keep quiet and wait patiently. At some point he will make a mistake, and you can take advantage of his mistake and turn it into your dividends. So let the other person make all the mistakes he can. You need to be very calm, patient, relaxed, so as not to miss the moment when your time comes and it’s your turn to “attack”.

“An example from my practice. When I joined the leadership of the SPS party, I was wildly infuriated that no one there took my opinion into account. Kiriyenko, Chubais, Gaidar, Nemtsov and others will argue, shout, discuss, but they only remember me when they need to sign a document. I tried to interrupt with my voice, but they couldn’t hear me. In the end, I found a way: I let everyone talk, remained silent and waited patiently. In the end, they got tired and turned to me: “Ir, do you agree?” Here I calmly say: “You are stunned (Irina Khakamada used an obscene word here - DS).” And I take a long pause. And everyone becomes scared. Or maybe it's true? Because it is briefly said, without any hysterics. “What are you doing? What do you mean?" At this moment you need to clearly and quickly say yours: one, two, three, otherwise they will stop listening again.”

I am Buddha

It is difficult for newcomers to negotiations, especially if you are an explosive choleric person or, on the contrary, a gloomy, withdrawn introvert. We don’t ask the right questions, we’re afraid to talk about abstract topics, we can’t joke. Then you need to enter into the image - it will create the necessary energy and help you not to spill it, it will be easier for you to concentrate and relax. “During negotiations, I imagine myself as Buddha, with one hand extended, palm up - I am open, friendly and ready to negotiate. The other hand is in a defensive position. When they begin to insult me ​​and lower me below the plinth, I mentally put my hand forward as a defense, with the other hand I intercept the flow of aggression and send it past me. Then, at the moment when the enemy makes a mistake, I bring this stream down on him with a smile - I take advantage of his mistake.” Other suitable aikido images: Harry Potter, the soft and powerful panther, the imperturbable samurai. The image should give protection, strength, but not provoke aggression; you should feel comfortable in it.

Short tips to follow

Sit halfway towards your partner, not opposite or sideways. Psychologically, it is easier to maintain contact and at the same time let through the negative words and aggressive energy of the interlocutor. “If you sit opposite, you will accept everything with your heart,” warns Irina. In moments when they say unpleasant things or even insult or humiliate you, you need to turn around even more. This will help you relax and internally distance yourself from the negotiation process, quickly returning your peace of mind.

Look the other person in the eye, but you shouldn’t stare at him all the time. “If you are a bespectacled person, make sure that your glasses have “good” frames,” advises Irina. “Thin gold or black ones look aggressive. The glasses should be as large as possible, the frames should be horned in a warm brown, earth color - it’s calming.” Turn off your phone and don't look at the clock - it's annoying.

Smile, at least a little Even if you say nasty things, a smile is disarming. An angry face shows that you are nervous. “I naturally have a tough expression on my face, and it’s difficult to smile, but I’ve learned,” admits Irina. “You need to learn to laugh at yourself and at others, that’s the only way to survive. If your jaw stubbornly does not relax, squeeze... your pelvis! The body is designed in such a way that it can only tense one muscle group at a time. This is a professional secret of photographers. The last resort on a shoot when the model is too tight and nothing helps.”

Gather as much information as possible in advance about partners via the Internet and from acquaintances: where you were born, marital status, hobbies, etc. In a conversation, you can use this data so that a person quickly gains confidence in you (compatriots, children of the same age, the same hobby, etc.) . Humor reduces tension very well and evokes warm feelings; self-irony is even better, but not self-deprecation in the spirit of “where are we going?”

Seat your partners in the meeting room in a way that suits them. Be sure to put hot coffee, tea, cookies (sweets, fruits), and water on the table. Everyone in the city gets tired quickly and their throats become dry. People who smoke should be able to go out and smoke occasionally. Remember: in Aikido, kindness is your main weapon and defense.

Irina Khakamada

The world of business is entirely built on the ability to come to an agreement: somewhere to offer more favorable conditions, somewhere to smooth out rough edges with personal charisma, somewhere to mention an influential patron, and somewhere to openly bluff. What to do if they try to impose unacceptable conditions on you? How to recognize manipulation on the part of your opponent and use it for your own purposes? And how does the technique of negotiations with Russians differ from negotiations with the Americans and Japanese? The author of the master class “Aikido of Business Negotiations” and the book “The Tao of Life,” Irina Khakamada, tells the RBG correspondent about this and much more.

- How do negotiation styles differ with Russians, Asians and Westerners?

You need to negotiate with the Russians in such a way that it becomes absolutely clear to them that you don’t need anything from them. Because as soon as you make it clear, for example, to your investor that you need him, he will immediately doubt whether they want to cheat him and drag him into unnecessary and unjustified expenses? I had a case when a businessman was interested in financing my project. We met for negotiations, and for two hours I talked about anything - about cinema, about literature, about politics - but not about my project. When, finally, a potential investor asked me about the project, I simply gave him a folder with developments. As a result, we then collaborated very well.

You need to work with Americans differently - quickly and clearly: present the theses of your project, answer questions clearly. Americans are not inclined to delay making a decision, so you can get an agreement or a refusal in the first ten minutes of negotiations. It's more difficult with Asians. If they are Japanese, you will have to conduct a cunning conversation game, making curtsies towards their national culture. Smiles, mutual praise, long negotiations, goals disguised. Express your thoughts as veiled as possible, otherwise your partners will consider you a primitive interlocutor. If you happen to negotiate with the Chinese, you need to place the main emphasis on the monetary profit that this project promises them. The Chinese are quite mercantile; where there is money, there is happiness.

- How to influence the emotional state of your interlocutor and evoke sympathy?

There are several important techniques. One of them is mirroring. First you need to determine the psychotype of your interlocutor. Conventionally, five such types can be distinguished. An epicurean is a lover of life: good food, drink, women, luxury. Such people dress expensively, but awkwardly and carelessly. Negotiations with epicureans should be conducted in a good restaurant, discussing dishes, wine, etc.

Officials are rather closed people, they think hierarchically, they speak dryly, in short phrases. Dressed very conservatively. With such people you need to speak in their language, in their phrases, highlighting the benefits that the project will bring not to humanity as a whole, but to them personally.

Technocrats use English business vocabulary, they always have the latest model smartphones and expensive tablets. With them, we need to go straight to the heart of the matter: the price of this startup, profit, costs...

There are creators - people who are literally obsessed with some idea, very emotional, with a wonderful imagination. You can have a big conversation with the creator, aiming to change the world, no less!

If you happen to negotiate with a player, then you will have to work hard here. These people are able to combine several psychotypes, alternating them depending on the specific situation. And here you need to be one step ahead of your interlocutor in changing roles. This is the only way to beat the player.

For the rest, ask questions that will ultimately lead to what you have in common with this person. Find common ground, sympathy will begin. The main thing is not to be too fixated on yourself, but to be sincerely interested in the interlocutor (it is not necessary to sympathize with him) and notice details.

- What to do if, during the negotiation process, partners impose unfavorable conditions?

The main thing is not to rush. Inexperienced negotiators often want to quickly answer an argument with an argument and demonstrate their knowledge of the issue. But you need to “pull the rubber,” but do it in a lively and interesting way. If you are faced with a choice, do not rush to say “yes” or “no”, take a break. Optimal response: "Good idea! I'll have to think about it." Ask questions, listen, assent. This is necessary so that both parties have the opportunity to relax, get used to it, consider the psychotype of the interlocutor and wait for the conversation to turn in your direction. If you are weaker in negotiations, then you should be more attentive and patient. If you are “pressed to the wall” and are asked to make a decision here and now, leave the negotiations under any plausible pretext. Never make a decision under pressure.

There is another technique that I call the “red elephant method”. Red bishops are conditions that you are willing to give up, but your opponent doesn't know about it. Give the other side what it wants, and disguise your interests in small but key details. If your opponents are preparing a draft agreement, describe what you are willing to give up. And then fight for these positions to the death, exhausting the enemy. And leave the most important thing for you at the end, persuading your interlocutor to agree: you’ve already conceded so much!

- How to recognize manipulation? And how can you then use it for your own purposes?

You need to carefully monitor your interlocutor and respond to his manipulation with the same manipulation. For example, you have arranged a one-on-one meeting with a future partner to discuss your project. And he comes to the meeting accompanied by two other people, introducing them as his assistant secretaries. And you suspect that these are not secretaries, but a lawyer and a psychologist who, during the negotiations, write notes to your opponent with advice. Don't get lost! Next time, come with your specialists, introducing them as assistants with whom you must go to the next meeting during the day. If your interlocutor is inclined to “put the squeeze” on you during exhausting negotiations, take with you an experienced lawyer who will not allow your opponent to include small but ambiguous clauses in the contract. If you cannot independently determine what your interlocutor is like, take a psychologist with you. This is a fairly common practice in the West. If you are a man and are negotiating with men over cocktails, you can take an attractive female companion with you as an escort. Your partners will be distracted, which will give you a head start of several points.

What to do if you are obviously weaker in negotiations? For example, if you are a member of a marginalized minority or a woman among men?

The world has still remained patriarchal, so a woman is rarely perceived as an authority. Do something more cunning: negotiate by referring to a man who is authoritative in this environment. For example: “Colleagues, I would like to introduce you to this project. Steve Jobs once did something similar...” You can also dramatically change your behavior style. Just now you were chattering about the weather and shopping, and now in a businesslike tone you are finally suggesting to get down to business.

For the rest, don’t overwhelm your interlocutor. Try to put yourself in an internal state where your emotions have no bearing on whether these negotiations are successful or not. For example, I advise my students to do this exercise: think through to the smallest detail the next two days after the negotiations failed. Imagine how you leave the hall, call your wife/husband, smoke a cigarette, return home, read a book... In a word, so that you understand that after unsuccessful negotiations, life will go on. And then rewind this picture back, like a film, and go to negotiations.

- What to do if your opponent behaves openly aggressively?

There are two reasons for being rude in negotiations: either for the purpose of provocation, so that you lose your balance, or simply because of intemperance of nature. In both cases, lean slightly to the side, letting this “hurricane” pass by, take a few breaths and calmly answer: “Perhaps you are right. But let’s not give in to emotions. We can work together!” Or you can turn everything into a joke, copying the aggressive intonations of the interlocutor. It happens that all your efforts are useless. Then be prepared for the fact that you will have to part with this interlocutor, and take risks - harshly and uncompromisingly, leaning forward and looking intently into the eyes of your opponent, besiege him, threaten, bluff, if necessary. But this is a last resort when there is nothing to lose.

And lastly: you can’t win all negotiations! It's OK. Analyze your mistakes and move forward again!

Current page: 4 (book has 10 pages total) [available reading passage: 3 pages]

Business communication

During a period of economic growth, the inability to negotiate and gather creative people around oneself has little impact on profits. She somehow grows and grows. After all, why pay HR managers then? Let them work. But in a crisis, responsibility falls entirely on the manager, because the HR manager will not be able to conduct effective negotiations, say, on a salary reduction. And the financial director cannot cope with the bank demanding repayment of the debt.

The 2008 crisis showed that the affairs of medium and small businesses went to waste largely due to the inability to negotiate. With a long phase of global economic instability ahead, the art of negotiation, especially if you are in a weak position, becomes a factor of survival. Not everyone approaches a debt crisis; some feel great and become kings. But the kings, or rather, their orders and money, are not enough for everyone. The one who skillfully convinces will win.

What to do?

1. By any means, even prayers, create the mood of a successful entrepreneur. It is impossible to negotiate while hysterical and depressed. Remember the joke about the elephant? “You can’t sell an elephant in such a mood!” - a good phrase. Therefore, no matter what happens, we relieve stress, even if tomorrow is the deadline for paying debts, and today we need to agree on money with investors. The same is true when looking for a new job or investment, or when taking a test. Nothing will work out in sadness.

Brief formula for approaching the topic in conditions of personal crisis:

crisis → depression →

→ “died” → cheered up

→ we are negotiating

(everything in an accelerated mode, otherwise you will go bankrupt).

2. Develop a wide menu of interesting offers for the other side. Wide, since the kings are different, and in Russia the subjective psychological factor plays a greater role than in the West. Russian entrepreneurs tend to be biased towards many things, and this will have to be overcome by luring them into working together, as if down the aisle, with love.

3. Identify potential stakeholders, the so-called

target address group. To sell an idea, you need to know your consumer market and its effective demand.

In an unpredictable and tough environment with an insufficiently powerful market position, it is foolish to flex your muscles. The monsters won't notice, but the little ones will be offended. Just like puffing out your cheeks. No one cares about you. And once you find a potential customer, you can’t lose. The situation is acute: the starting opportunities do not provide a chance to win, and it is impossible not to win. Your weight category is 60 kg, and your market partner is 100 kg. What to do? It is only in the movies that a stringy sprat defeats a shark. In life he will definitely swallow it. In such a situation, the East comes to the rescue, or rather, martial arts, and even more precisely, aikido - the art of using the enemy’s strength in battle. The more aggressive the enemy, the better - we simply return to him the energy of his own blow. In politics, I have always been a lightweight fighting against super heavyweights. Behind me there were no cool oligarchs, no political clans, no liberal masses. I had to include the “Japanese” - polite but persistent, the Russian - sincere and simple-minded, and, finally, my Armenian temperament. This is how a personal negotiating style was formed.

Aikido negotiations

So, Aikido is the art of winning while being weaker. In this case, victory depends on:

1) the ability to return aggression without blocking, but letting it pass by. You react sensitively to your partner, like a dance partner. Maybe the role of a partner is unpleasant for men, well, then stand proudly against the wall... without resources;

2) the ability to give the other party the freedom to make mistakes;

3) the ability to calculate the opponent’s psychotype;

4) the ability to catch “your” wave in negotiations and ride it like on a board. The steeper the wave, the more interesting it is to glide along it.

You probably already understand the basic rules for conducting such negotiations:

We forget about pride, which is not at all in the macho tradition. We are interested in the result, and not in “showing ourselves”;

We're not in a hurry, we're waiting for the wave;

We listen more, rather than talk, but stimulate and maintain the conversation;

We enter the desired image. Well, for example: picture No. 1. A movie investor is sitting, relaxing, and here we are. We come up, pull your hand and whisper: “Let’s get out of here, I’ll show you something that’s a hundred times more interesting!” - We wash it, it’s no good. Picture No. 2: we sit down next to each other, watch a movie, make a couple of comments, the neighbor nods in agreement. After the session, we start talking, discuss the film, take him by the arm, go out, and he doesn’t notice how he ends up where we need him. The key points are to “sit down next to” and “take the hand”, and not pull it. Good.

Aikido methods

Mirroring

Everyone now knows the vulgar mirroring techniques and uses them in a very funny way. Recently, while talking with a young man who wanted something from me, I noticed that he did not sit still, but was spinning all the time. And suddenly I understood! It’s me who spins, and he repeats everything after me. I decided that his first profession was a psychologist. And so it turned out.

I am not a psychologist, therefore, understanding the importance of the mirroring method, that is, reflecting different psychological types, I developed my own approach.

If we generalize the types of the huge number of people I have met in my life, then we can roughly identify five main ones.

1. Bon vivant, or epicurean, or hedonist.

Yes... All words are foreign. Simply put, a lover of a good life, indulging his weaknesses: food, drink, women, etc. Classic example: Boris Nemtsov.

2. Conditional officials are closed people, hierarchically thinking, dry, speaking in short, cloth phrases. There’s no need for examples here: they are everywhere, not only in economic departments or ministries, but also in business – most often small kings.

3. Modern technocrats: a lot of foreign business vocabulary, similar to the latest smartphone models (Dmitry Medvedev, Sergey Kiriyenko, Anatoly Chubais).

4. Creators, people obsessed with an idea, endowed with imagination, emotional (Evgeny Chichvarkin).

5. Players: change roles, combine several psychotypes (Vladimir Putin).

Who am I? I think a player who has grown from a creator. Of course, I wanted to remain a creator, but political life forced me to.

So, there are psychotypes. You can name others - it doesn’t matter, as long as you guess the person. How to “calculate” a psychotype if there is no time to prepare? You can try to do this by assessing the way your interlocutor dresses. Bon vivant most often looks a little careless, even if expensive. There is some awkwardness in him: either the tie is askew, or the suit doesn’t fit, even though it’s from Armani, etc.

The official is dressed conservatively and strictly.

The creator most often reaches for bohemian details - scarves, knitwear, unexpected colors.

The technocrat is a 100% example of the “yuppie” style: expensive, energetic, fashionable and standard down to the tips of his shoes, like in the pictures of business advertising.

Why all this trouble? Yes, because, having considered a person, it is easier to win him over by reflecting him, as in a mirror, and thus giving a sign: “I am mine.”

In Russia, this technology is doomed to success, since the division into “friends and foes” plays a decisive role here when searching for a partner, more important than professionalism. It's a pity, of course. But what can you do, you still have to work. How to work? Mirror!

Be sure to talk to an epicurean about what he loves. If a person loves to eat and drink, then it is better to negotiate in a good restaurant and take an active part in the discussion of dishes and wine.

Talk to the official about business, and in his strange language, and immediately emphasize the benefits of your idea not for humanity, but for him personally.

It is easy to inflame the Creator by taking aim at the scale of humanity. I remember young guys told me that they wanted to create a private institute to train modern programmers, so I went all the way to Putin with their papers, just like that, free of charge. I really liked the idea.

With a technocrat, you can start a conversation right away with the essence of the matter: start-up price, profit, costs, etc.

With the player... You got it. You were unlucky. You can beat him only by being one step ahead in changing roles.

The ability to win over in negotiations with foreigners is very important.

The French love France and their cuisine. If you don’t talk to a Frenchman about his culture, it will be a mistake. And if you suggest canceling lunch at 12.30 - it will be a disaster. You need to dress with taste, not cheap, but not too expensive and flashy. The French love details.

Italians, on the contrary, respect peacocks and peacocks. Be fashionable, bright, imposing, joke, laugh - then you belong.

Americans are technocrats. The essence of the matter must be stated quickly and accurately, the time frame for making a profit must be stated, and the volume of the market and the management model must be mentioned.

The Chinese are mercantile. Where there is money, there is happiness.

The Japanese are aliens. Smiles, long negotiations, vague goals. If you directly and openly press on them, nothing will come of it. The Japanese respect you when you explain something that can be expressed in two words for half an hour, “burying” the meanings in complex hints. Ooo! They begin to appreciate you. The main thing is not to be sincere and simple-minded. The Japanese will consider you an individual closer to the fauna than to human civilization.

Choosing a meeting place

Now everyone knows about the place. Recently, a friend of mine said in fear: “That’s it! The deal will not take place! "Why? – I asked in surprise. “We developed a scheme that was quite successful.” “Nothing will work! I'm going into their territory!

What nonsense! We learned it in trainings or play conspiracies. Everyone is imagining video recording, fake waiters, eavesdropping, etc. Calm down. Forget Hollywood, all this is not at all in our tradition and not on our scale. Of course, meeting on neutral territory or at home is preferable. But even in this case you can easily lose. A true fighter wins on someone else's court. So spit. But if you host, then don’t strain people, don’t seat them in such a way that there’s a blow in their back or blinding their eyes. In Aikido, you need your partners to relax and the degree of trust to increase from the very first steps. Therefore, there is no need to pretend to be a king-father; it is better to invite guests to take seats at their request.

Time delay method

There's no need to rush. I know it from myself. I really want to put forward an argument, show my knowledge of the issue, and achieve a result. And you need to drag your feet, but do it lively and interested. First, ask questions that will lead to some hobbies, find a common point, and sympathy will begin. One day, cooperation took place only because both businessmen, as it turned out, were interested in studying the family genealogical tree. And if at first there was flinging and showing off from the stronger side, then when a common interest was discovered, the intonation became completely different - human, and the conversation flowed...

If you are faced with a choice, do not rush to say “yes” or “no”. Optimal answer: “Good idea” (they sat down next to each other), “We need to think about it” (let’s go for a walk arm in arm...). One day I was offered unbearable conditions for cooperation in the implementation of my film project. I agreed with the producer, announced that I needed to think about it, and started asking all sorts of different questions. At the end of the conversation, the producer himself refused these Terms.

Ask questions and listen and assent. Vladimir Putin, when he first became president and therefore was not very confident in himself, in order to win over his seasoned political interlocutor, asked the necessary questions and listened, pretending that he was even taking notes. The heavyweight was delighted!

The question arises: why this toffee? Yes, because you need to relax, get used to it, consider the psychotype and wait for the conversation to turn in your direction. Just like in the stock market. You are weaker, which means you are more attentive and patient.

What to do if you are pressed against the wall: yes or no, here and now or never? In this case, prepare an external call like “the mother-in-law is crazy” (just kidding) and get lost. Never make a decision under pressure. Take a break. Copy the behavior of a man whose wife or mistress wants to “finally sort things out.” What is he doing? That's right: it dissolves in the manner of Bulgakov's evil spirits - it seems like he was just here and is no longer there...

Red elephant method

1. Give the other side what it wants, and disguise your interests in small but key details. The history of capitalism in Russia actually dates back only one generation, so most successful businessmen are sick with a complex of usefulness. This means that they don’t hear anyone and stick to their line. For example, many owners want to fully manage the entire project, including creativity. If they agree to partner in someone else’s project with someone who does not have the required amount of investment, then they take everything. And you have experience, connections, creativity and responsibility. There is a conflict of interest.

Give him the managerial function. He still won’t cope and will turn to you, and you will receive financing. Do you want checkers or go, really?! Don't rush, go step by step! Life will put everything in its place. Start by setting yourself one task, not all at once. The greedy loses his last!

2. If your side is preparing a draft agreement, then clearly describe what you are willing to concede in whole or in part. And fight for these positions long and painfully, exhausting the enemy. And on the contrary, leave the most important thing for you at the end of the conversation and casually persuade your opponent to agree, since you have already, as they say, “gave away” a lot. We were in the minority in parliament. To change the same draft tax code, our deputies bombarded the party in power with millions of amendments, knowing that the majority would be rejected. After three to five hours of discussion, we would shove something “passing.” Out of fatigue, everyone voted “for,” and that was where the main thing for us lay.

By the way, if the project is being prepared by the other side, do not agree to discuss it “from scratch.” Get it in advance, appoint a lawyer and... work on the amendments begins. Of course, in this case you need to take a lawyer with you to negotiations, since the degree of tediousness will be so high that you will break down. But you can't break. The lawyer hums boringly, and at the end of each amendment you support him with the power of your charisma. If it's not there, just nod your head. Your task is to emotionally sway them in your direction.

red elephants are interests,

which you are ready to give up,

but no one knows about it.

That's why they're red because they occupy

a lot of space, and the most honorable one.

Important little things

In difficult negotiations, don't skimp on the details. It is impossible to calculate in advance what will “shoot”. All types of weapons must be ready.

1. Pay attention to your style: what if it is uncomfortable for the interlocutor? In this case, you need to find a compromise between your individuality and his. Choose the right glasses. Kind and not darkened. You will pretend to be a rock star, if you want, in a nightclub.

2. Don’t sit as if you’ve swallowed a yardstick, this will stress both you and your opponent. It’s better to sit comfortably, not fall apart, and lean forward a little. There is no need to look into the eyes for a long time, you are not challenging him to a fight. But if you always look to the side or have darting eyes, you will definitely be mistaken for a swindler.

The main thing, as a fashion model:

harmonious for yourself and others

put yourself in space.

By the way, a fashion photographer friend of mine noticed that not even all models master this art, and even businessmen are no good at all. But in vain - they lose a huge resource of influence on the interlocutor.

3. Since your hands are free, sometimes gesture. Don't chew the caps, don't knock with your lighter, don't draw little people. This is how you show your excitement. Imagine that you are a kind Buddha and communicate.

4. Sex forever! I mean the exchange of energy between the sexes. Don't forget about him. It is not for nothing that in the famous film “Pretty Woman” with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, the latter played the role of an escort during business negotiations. No need to copy. There is a difference between movie truth and life truth. But... I had a case. In the US Congress, I talked with a female deputy from some distant state like Oklahoma or Arizona. It was impossible to “count” it or, rather, on the contrary, it was too easy. A simple American village woman, ready to discuss the topic “Let’s kill the men!”, but not the disarmament agenda between the USA and Russia. I was completely confused, but she was accompanied by two assistants, as if they had stepped out of the pages of GQ or Men’s Health magazine. About one meter ninety, slanting fathoms in the shoulders, ideal suits like Armani, everyone has an earring in their ear. Black is a specialist in domestic policy, white is a specialist in foreign policy. I was stunned. As Zverev says, the star was in shock. I really wanted to talk to them! And we talked. Both turned out to be brilliant specialists. During our intelligent conversation, the deputy smiled joyfully and nodded her head. We parted, satisfied with each other. Since then, I have not left a disgusting feeling of melancholy at the sight of our starved political functionaries. If I had such helpers, I would move mountains and turn rivers! Well, okay, I was daydreaming...

5. We have already agreed on the voice: lower tone, calm. Change your intonation, pause, and don’t mumble monotonously. Although it all depends on who you are mirroring. In the case of an “official,” being boring is, on the contrary, the path to success.

Hitting

Not everything is grace. During negotiations, your opponent may come at you rudely for two reasons: either for the purpose of provocation, to make you lose your balance, or due to incontinence of nature. Hang in there. Turn slightly to the side, let this hurricane pass by like a draft, count to five and answer calmly. For example: “You may be right, but let's calm down. We have to work together.” Or, smiling, mirror the principle “you are a fool” and turn everything into a joke, copying the aggressive intonation of your interlocutor. Patience! You will win back when you are in your flow. If there was anger on his part, that’s good, that’s already the first mistake. The main thing is to wait until a meaningful mistake is made, and in time to enter your own active game.

It also happens that no matter how hard you try to weave a web, you feel that everything is useless. Then get ready and, realizing that you are ready to break up, take a risk - deliver a “blow to the jaw.” Tough and uncompromising. You lean forward more strongly, reducing the space, look intently, without looking away, into the eyes and “kill.”

TO This technique has nothing to do with Aikido. Remember:

“a blow to the jaw” is a last resort,

when there is nothing left to lose.

The main thing is not the blow, but the precise capture of the moment

hopelessness of the situation.

And the last thing: You can't win all the negotiations. Not scary. Analyze your mistakes – your own, not your opponent’s – and move forward again!

Chapter 4
TEAM
BUILDING
DAO

Office syndrome

After graduating from college and graduate school, I began to develop office syndrome sharply. It all started small. At the Gosplan Research Institute, sitting at the table so that my back had to rest against the chair of my department colleague, I looked with envy at the boss’s separate office. At the department of political economy of the university, having started my teaching career at the lowest level of assistant, I fought for a long time for a separate desk, but to no avail. Having already become an assistant professor, I still shared it with a colleague. And even in business, at the stock exchange with its huge areas, I didn’t get a separate office. Finally, the light began to dawn in the window of the State Duma, but... even then the expectations were in vain. I shared an office of 12 m2 with my team of assistants. But she did not despair and worked. And my patience was rewarded. Having become a member of the federal government, I moved into a large office with a reception area. Then, having returned to parliament and becoming vice-speaker, she settled in an even more pretentious office, in which every morning she enjoyed stroking a bunch of special communications phones that stood on a separate table. During periods when I fell out of power, like a chick from a nest, my husband urgently organized a private office with an office for me. He understood that without an office the chick would perish, he urgently needed to equip a new nest...

This happened in 2004 after the presidential campaign. For a year I worked in a private office, rented with great difficulty. All the tenants were shaking, thinking that the inspection authorities would come after Khakamada. As always, the bravest one turned out to be a woman, by the way, a former doctor. Thanks to her, I found refuge and calmed down, but not for long. In 2005, the syndrome disappeared. Sharply and unexpectedly. I suddenly realized that I no longer wanted an office. I don’t want to go there and waste time and money. I liked the idea of ​​working at home, in my office. What about meetings? They can always be scheduled at the nearest cafe. What about the assistants? So it’s even better for them to sit at home at the computer, combining work for me with other earnings or study.

Within a week, I closed my office, bought an office mobile phone, and gave it to my secretary. I transferred everyone to a free schedule and... the next day I woke up with a feeling of absolute freedom and an unusual feeling of “uselessness to anyone.” The office syndrome has passed, but it has been replaced by a slight emptiness. The stereotype of organizing time and space has broken, but no replacement has emerged. In some kind of beaten state, I started working at home. I met uncertainly in a cafe, looking around, writing something about renovations in the office... But after six months, the “withdrawal” was over, and I felt good. There was a feeling of being the mistress of the situation, firmly settled in her nest of life. All! Freelancing has finally conquered office addiction. Now I watch with pleasure how my assistant Irina, walking with me along Bolshaya Dmitrovka, answers on her mobile phone: “Hello! Office of Irina Khakamada, hello."

What benefits did I get by becoming a freelancer?

Reduced expenses for maintaining her activities (writing books, participating in television and radio programs, holding master classes throughout the country and the CIS, giving lectures at universities);

I began to save time on moving around the city, freeing up additional hours for the child, hobbies and sports;

I found new opportunities for self-expression in creativity, using the advantages of the Internet. “Woke up” in LiveJournal, on YouTube, in blogs and magazine columns.

Office in or office off?

Freelance - freelance. Accordingly, free lancer is a freelancer. If you dig even deeper, free lance is a “free spear,” that is, a free warrior or free hunter. I especially like the last definition. Went hunting in the Big City. What you catch is yours. You know treasured places, paths, and sometimes you just accidentally attack game. The main thing is to shoot accurately, feel the animal and not get lost. If you don’t want to, you don’t go hunting. You lie at home, sucking your paw. This is the mood. Or you are unlucky, nothing is caught... Anything can happen. But all days are different, varied and therefore interesting. Oh! It got sidetracked again... So, there are two forms of out-of-office work.

1. Under an employment contract with the company. Most often the activity involves the use of a computer. This is how editors, web designers, translators, and accountants work.

2. Absolutely free professionals working for a fee (people of creative professions, business consultants, coaches, psychologists, trainers, massage therapists at home, and so on).

A psychologist friend of mine worked at a private institute for providing psychological assistance. I received decent money for working full time. Then I quit and began consulting individually. Same income, but more free time. I finally became closely involved with the child before he entered university.

In any case, both forms are good because you get money for the result, and not for the time spent in front of your bosses. On the other hand, there is no work team, corporate holidays and birthdays, on-site training, February 23 and March 8. If you can’t bear to live without these little “branded” joys, then it’s better to choose office in.

In general, when faced with the choice of “in” or “off”, first of all you should listen to yourself in order to understand how close you are to the advantages of free flight and whether you are ready to accept its disadvantages. I have already described the advantages. This:

free schedule;

no one teaches anything;

independence in making all decisions.

Now the cons:

there are no vacations, canteens, hospitals, sanatoriums, kindergartens and other benefits of corporate social protection;

no office clothes;

If all this does not confuse you, then the next step is to figure out how your psychological personality type corresponds to such work. Answer a few questions.

A) Are you ready for self-discipline? If you're stuck in the morning

either on LiveJournal or in bed, then soon everything will go wrong and for sure

I'll have to suck my paw.

B) Are you ready to take personal responsibility for the result or lack thereof? This responsibility will be expressed very specifically in the figures of your income. So, are you ready to become the leader of your life?

Q) Are you ready for the fact that it will be either thick or empty?

D) Are you confident enough in your professionalism to sell it on the labor market yourself?

D) Do you really know how to sell your professionalism?

After leaving politics, I tried for six months to answer these questions, especially the last two, since everything was fine with the first three. I thought and wrote the novel “Love is Outside the Game”... When I wrote it, I finally answered “yes” and developed three models for organizing my work.

1. I am a professional and at the same time a base office: I do advertising myself, conclude contracts, do accounting, negotiate, and organize meetings. It seems like a fantasy, but this is how many of my creative friends work.

2. I am a carrier of a creative product and am hiring a team for outsourcing: an accountant, a PR person, an agent, and so on.

3. The mixed model is perhaps the most convenient for me. I do everything that interests me from the first model myself, and I hire people based on the principle of minimizing costs. As a result, I needed... two people.

I am my own PR person and agent. But others support and process received orders. That's how everything worked out. Not right away, gradually, but I wasn’t in a hurry.

Since 2006, a new life began: a strange alternation of complete silence and vigorous activity. Sometimes it’s thick, and sometimes it’s really empty. But the thrill for me is that now I actually write my own melody, playing both black and white keys. Like this.

And finally, what helped me.

Patience and retention of energy on the path to your cherished dream. Don’t fade away quickly, but bring everything to a result, even if expressed in a different form.

Possession of exceptional professional resources, but at the same time a flexible attitude towards the customer - to his requests regarding content and price.

The art of negotiation.

So, if you're tired of everything, go ahead! What if not, if you want to be a member of a corporation that is pleasant in every way?

Flock or black crow?

In one of the magazine issues Esquire authors, scientists and creative people discussed the topic “What will change everything.” The artist Dmitry Gutov put forward a wonderful idea, in my opinion. The course of his reasoning was approximately as follows: 90% of activities are absolutely meaningless, and 50% of them are actively harmful. Well, for example, horror films and other commercial fluff on television. Nobody needs so many books, movies, jam or toothpaste. The most valuable thing is free time. Everything will change when all people, and not just artists, come to their senses and, throwing away the unnecessary, free up time to manage it themselves. This will change everything.

This idea seemed wonderful to me, although I understand that its bearer is a person of a creative profession, a deep individualist. Let's discuss further.

Many years ago, as a politician, I attended a breakfast with Hillary Clinton. The First Lady of America, having arrived in Russia, invited women involved in various social programs. Everyone got ready to discuss gender issues, but Hillary surprised the guests. The tone of the conversation was posed by the following question: how to combine the individualism of the Western world, reinforced by the Internet, and the collectivism of Eastern civilizations, characteristic, for example, of China or the Soviet Union? After all, each model of social behavior has its pros and cons, and harmony would help avoid many social conflicts.

Indeed, who is essentially modern homo sapiens? A social person (according to Karl Marx) or an individual person (according to Sartre and other existentialists)? Or something third? (Chaos Theory.) It is not for nothing that, according to Nezavisimaya Gazeta, the image of an individualist defeating the system is embodied as a powerful myth in Hollywood. Individualism has been elevated to the level of a mass cult in order to establish a balance in relation to the order of society that is cleverly formed by the elite. Simply put:

how to love your neighbor from a distance;

how to create a harmonious team?

How to fit into a corporate environment as an outsider

Corporations swallow and digest a huge amount of hired labor, including highly professional ones.

Some workers, having gone through the career grinder, move to the heights of top management, while others remain standard semi-finished products for the rest of their lives. By the way, the latter are the majority. Corporations are akin to authoritarian regimes. They:

rely on the masses, not on the individual;

develop standard thinking;

strive for stability and predictability of personnel.

A corporation, like a big family, fosters a spirit of paternalism and requires the dedication of all forces, including personal and emotional ones. For this, the employee receives protection and life infrastructure. If you want to be free and maintain private space, then such a desire is contrary to corporate culture.

By the way, many experts believe that there is no obvious contradiction between collectivism and individualism. Social networks on the Internet demonstrate solidarity, that is, “collectivism from below,” very powerfully, defending, for example, Yukos lawyer Bakhmina or fighting traffic police and flashing lights.

But what to do if you are built into the model of “collectivism from above”, with its characteristic hierarchy of bosses and despotism of standard role settings? Let's try to figure it out. For example, I am a deep individualist, but, as a minister, I worked in a government corporation. And, having carefully studied its morals and customs, she tried not to swim against the tide in the process of implementing her ideas. It worked. Main:

don't give up ideas, but obey the unwritten rules.

Arina Edemska me: Irina, you have been conducting your master classes “Aikido of business negotiations” for several years now. Why did you compare the process of holding meetings with Aikido?

Irina Khakamada: Aikido is a Japanese martial art built on merging with an opponent's attack and redirecting the attacker's energy. My masterclass is based on a model where you need to win the battle of signing a contract or solving other business problems, but you are in a weaker position.

Arina: At trainings you talk about how to prevent manipulation. In your opinion, can negotiations take place without this?

Irina: Of course they can. Most often, negotiations take place without such components: this happens when the partners are equal - wise or naive.

Arina: How can manipulation and tricks be beneficial?

Irina: These techniques can be beneficial if your position is weaker, while your opponent, knowing this position, is not going to make concessions to you. Then some tricks are needed.

Arina: How can you prepare to use tricks?

Irina: If, for example, we are talking about signing a contract, then you need to ask for a document for analysis in advance and not sign anything right away. When analyzing a contract, you should make a list of comments, and those additional amendments to the contract that are important to you should come last and be worded unremarkably. Conversely, those points on which you are ready to concede should be in the forefront and sound very tough and bright. This is done with one goal: to direct the entire discussion to the first amendments, then to concede them and then, when everyone is already tired, move on to this “little thing” and sign it, although in fact it is the main one. This is the skill required to be a lawyer.

Arina: How important is it to have a leader on your team to achieve success? Is charisma important?

Irina: No, no charisma and no leadership are needed for successful negotiations. You just need to be able to negotiate professionally: few people in Russia can do this, so it’s better to hire specialists if the negotiations are complex.

RUSSIAN “CHIPS” AND MAIN ERRORS

Arina: Do you think the gender of the participants influences negotiations?

Irina: Of course, there are specifics here. The best way to achieve success is to attract negotiators of different genders.

Arina: What does this have to do with?

Irina: With the fact that the human factor in this case plays a large - and most importantly - positive role. If a man and a woman are talking, and both know how to evoke sympathy with their image and behavior, then the X-factor is added to their toolkit, which often helps in negotiations.

Arina: It is well known that the principles of doing business in the States and Europe, in the West and the East, are viewed differently. Are there any universal rules of behavior or do you have to adapt to a certain model every time?

Irina: These types are really very specific, and you need to take that into account. Not to adapt, but rather to take into account - “adjust” is generally a bad word, it is too noticeable, so you need to take into account and play the national character card. There are, of course, universal rules. The versatility lies in the fact that you must be able to be charming, prepare very well and know who you are dealing with, be able to tap into those strings in people’s personalities that they will definitely respond to. In this regard, of course, you need to be a little pedantic: you need to study your opponent, not approach negotiations lightly and be a psychologist, at least at an amateur level. The second universal rule is, of course, professionalism. If you are not ready to negotiate, if you know nothing about your own subject, but think that you will win over your opponent with charisma and pressure, then you are making a mistake.

Arina: Are there any Russian “tricks” when negotiating?

Irina: The Russian “trick” is that the subjective, moody factor works more powerfully than the objective parameters of a contract or transaction. The Russian “trick” is that if you present your project technologically, clearly, in an American way, then the Russian businessman will decide that you are “selling him some kind of bullshit” and are doing it actively. Therefore, if you are negotiating with a Russian businessman, then it is better to use not an active presentation, but such careless indifference, easy throwing of information, with the hint that you, in principle, do not care, because there is already a queue behind you. This is the approach that works best in Russia.

Arina: What are the most common mistakes negotiators make?

Irina: The main mistake is the inability to listen: often people talk more than they listen. Secondly, people don’t know how to ask questions: not only professional, but also personal, related, for example, to hobbies. Personal questions should not be underestimated: they “unwind” a person and allow him to relax. Russians don’t know how to do this at all; they are fixated on themselves. The third classic mistake is the desire to sell your own and the lack of desire to prepare a “menu” - offers that are primarily of interest to the buyer. We must not move our own things, but take into account, first of all, what the buyer wants. For example, you are trying to sell some real estate and tell your interlocutor that there is a beautiful view of the sea, a villa on the beach, cypress trees, the waves are noisy, and so on, and therefore all this costs a lot of money. But you haven’t studied the client and don’t know that he, for example, has hypertension and cannot live in conditions where the pressure changes endlessly. At sea, the climate changes all the time, but the client needs a stable climate, and in general, medium altitude mountain air is recommended for him. You don’t care about this: you push and push your own, talk about your “wants” and don’t think about your opponent’s “wants”, as a result, nothing works out for you.

M&A: FROM NEGOTIATIONS TO ACTIONS

Arina: While doing consulting, you have probably encountered mergers and acquisitions issues. How should top managers of companies, both acquiring and being acquired, build a line of behavior?

Irina: I only had one case when I advised on a takeover deal. One company tried to "eat" another, which resisted. As a result, the acquiring company acted more cunningly. She entered into a contract to carry out work with the company that she wanted to “eat,” and during the work she began to outbid all the key employees, that is, it turned out to be a takeover according to the principle of “no wash, no skimp.” Then I advised the owner of the acquired company to stop, break the contract and start selling themselves on the market. This is why personal counseling is important: I felt that the person was tired of this business, which was being taken away from him, and became indifferent to it. At the same time, he did not want to be absorbed the way he was being absorbed, he wanted to get other money. But after my advice to start selling myself, the man got scared and said that the business was not for sale. And with such a mood you definitely won’t be able to sell anything: everything is for sale, but you have to learn how to sell it. And if you don’t know how, then hire a consultant.

Arina: When it comes to a takeover rather than a friendly merger, what nuances should we be wary of?

Irina: You need to have a very professional lawyer and a person who knows financial schemes in which a takeover can occur with greater benefit for both parties. There are few such specialists, but they find different options. Most often, if a person negotiates himself, then his scheme is simple: “I was gobbled up, I take some money for it or don’t take anything at all, because I am completely in debt, and when taken over, my debts are paid off.” And there are complex financial instruments that few people in Russia own. This combination of a person who knows how to create special financial schemes, legal, but very creative, with a lawyer who knows how to formalize all this, will allow you to negotiate more professionally.

Arina: How should a top manager of an acquiring company position himself correctly when interacting with the acquired team?

Irina: With the company that he absorbed and which hates him... In such situations you need to be a good psychologist. We need to try to create a friendly atmosphere. To do this, you can go to a restaurant and have a drink a couple of times at the manager’s expense, that’s all. Sometimes even such things help to relax people, to have a heart-to-heart talk - this works for Russian people.

GOLDEN RULES OF NEGOTIATION

Arina: What are the three basic commandments of a skilled negotiator?

Irina: The first is to prepare. Know everything about the company, about the people, down to their hobbies, marital status, where they were born: know everything about those with whom you are negotiating, about their character, how successful their business is, how it was created... You need to get out all the information. Second: an experienced negotiator is a mini-psychologist. He doesn’t show it, but he has these qualities, that is, he “reads” people and very skillfully plays on their motivations, “mirrors” these people, and does not put pressure on himself and his charisma. And the third is to be charming, to be able to create the right image: a professional and a positive, pleasant person in one person is exactly the interlocutor who evokes sympathy and has the greatest chance of conducting successful negotiations.

Arina: Is it possible to learn to be a successful businessman, politician, or is it given at birth?

Irina: Most often this is exactly what they learn. But to achieve success in such a field, the consciousness must be open. That is, a person must really study, and not think about his offended self from morning to evening, as often happens. When a person learns, he must perceive information. At my master classes, I noticed that in the audience, at best, three or four people out of twenty perceive information. Everyone else listens, and then, judging by the questions they ask, it becomes clear that they did not hear anything. The head is closed. With a closed head, when a person is all within himself, he cannot learn anything, much less negotiate. If he has an open mind, that is, he both hears and understands: “Yeah, this is where I’m wrong, this is where I’m stuck, but what’s needed here is not charisma, but mirroring of the interlocutor, I need to learn to be more attentive to people. Maybe I should really read Dostoevsky or Tolstoy, all the psychotypes are described there...” With this attitude, he will definitely learn. There was a time when I didn’t know how to negotiate at all: I either exploded after five minutes, or trembled with fear and simply remained silent, not reacting to anything. However, I was ready to learn, and I learned because my mind was open to it.

What's on topic?

"Success in the big city"

About what?

A book for ambitious readers who dream of becoming “number one” in anything.

How to become effective while remaining free, achieve career success, do what you love in a big city and feel comfortable doing it? many practical recommendations drawn from the personal experience of Irina Khakamada herself.

About what?

What are the technologies for success? How to overcome global fatigue? Why, having reached the top, joy lasts only a few moments? Where does leadership begin? Is it possible to develop intuition and how to do it? How to build social connections and why is it necessary? How to build a brand for the name “I”?

Interviewed by: Edemskaya Arina.