Jane Ann Krenz

Deep down inside

Jayne Ann Krentz

Copyright © 2010 Jayne Ann Krentz

© Translation. A.S. Meisigova, 2014

© Russian edition AST Publishers, 2014

Fallon Jones: Three years before the events...

A supernatural fire burned in the darkness. Flashes of psychic energy cut through the ether. The night sky over San Francisco flared brightly with all the colors of the rainbow. Fallon Jones, standing on the balcony of his apartment, clutched at the railing so as not to completely lose touch with reality. The space around was woven from bizarre patterns, beautiful and surprisingly complex knots and plexuses that led back to the very heart of the universe.

He had never seen anything more beautiful than this radiant splendor of the night. Fallon felt that if he tried hard, he could detect the light of the first seconds of the creation of the world and even capture a particle of that all-encompassing force of chaos that established the laws of life and death.

“Nice night for a walk, huh?” came the voice of Tucker Austin.

Fallon turned and saw his silhouette in the sliding glass doors. There was something wrong with a friend. It seemed as if a column of water separated them from Tucker. Everything was so vague that Fallon could not understand what the intruder had in his hands.

- What do you need? For some reason, his tongue stuttered, although Fallon clearly remembered that he had only drunk a glass of wine at dinner.

We both know why I'm here. - Tucker stepped onto the balcony and leaned on the railing, and next to him, hiding a strange object behind his left leg. “You got it from the magic lantern, didn’t you?” Well, this device already has a side effect: the more talented the person, the more powerful the impact. You seem to be a real genius compared to the rest of the Joneses, which means it will be easier to kill you without arousing suspicion. You go deeper and deeper into the world of the supernatural and there is no turning back.

“You came to kill me…” Fallon stated, surprisingly calm, not panicked.

“But I warned you that your talent would ruin you,” Tucker said with satisfaction. And you know it's not just my opinion. Many people are sure that a person with such a powerful gift of knowledge of chaos is simply doomed. You are aware of the rumors about the men in your family who inherit this talent. Everyone knows that Sylvester Jones ended up going crazy.

“That was over four centuries ago,” Fallon said. And no one can know in what state he died. Rumors and facts are two different things.

“But you will not deny that interesting rumors are more believed than boring facts.

Fallon shook his head and tried to focus on Tucker. The universe spun around him, and in order not to fall, he firmly grabbed the railing.

- Why? Fallon knew it was a stupid question, and the answer was already known, but for some reason he wanted to hear it from Tucker. Probably believed him for too long, and now it's time to end it.

“I'm afraid there's no other way. - Tucker leaned his elbows on the railing and began to look at the night city. “This time, one of us must survive. The struggle of the strongest and all that ... By the way, a magic lantern can not only create those wonderful hallucinations that you now see, but also hypnotize. Did you feel the urge to jump off the balcony?

Fallon had a hard time saying no. He tried to take a step to the side, but stumbled and fell to his knees.

Tucker, meanwhile, pointed to the building opposite.

“You know what you have to do now, right? You need to cross the crystal bridge to that house over there. From there you have a breathtaking view of the heart of the universe. Such temptation cannot be resisted.

Fallon grabbed onto the railing with all his might, struggled to his feet and tried to focus his eyes, but the fierce flashes of light in the night wouldn't let him.

- What bridge? I don't see any bridge...

- Yes, here he is. Tucker waved his hand. “It starts right here and leads to the roof of the building in front of us. Just step over the railing and you will immediately be on it.

Fallon lowered his head. Far down the street, strange machines moved, lights flickering on and off. “These are machines,” an inner voice whispered to him. - Hold on tight. You're on the fourteenth floor."

Well, did you see the bridge? Tucker urged. He will answer all your questions. Just take a step and go forward... At the end of the path you will meet a wizard.

Fallon squinted, and indeed he saw a crystal bridge in the night sky, flashing all the colors of the rainbow invitingly. The transparent steps glowed from within.

“I think I've seen this bridge before.

- In one movie. The plot is primitive, but the special effects were good.

Tucker chuckled.

“Only Fallon Jones can logically explain the most perfect hallucination. Well, okay, trying is not torture. If you don't feel like it, you'll have to go to plan B.

He swung the mysterious object sharply. Fallon tried to parry the blow, but his muscles didn't respond, and instinctively jerking to the side, he lost his balance and fell to the stone floor.

And in Tucker's hand was not anything, but a heavy hammer. And it passed only a few inches from Fallon's head before it hit the floor with a thud. The blow was so strong that it shook not only the balcony, but the whole house. Somewhere nearby, a woman screamed.

Tucker, frustrated by the failure, raised his hammer for a second blow, but Fallon rolled to the side, calling on the full force of his talent to help. The hammer hit the floor again. He somehow managed to get back on his feet, even though the universe revolved around him at an insane speed, iridescent and sparkling.

Tucker didn't back down. The fear of imminent death gave Fallon strength, and with it a few seconds of clarity. He finally managed to focus his eyes, for a moment he clearly saw the face of a man whom he considered a true friend, but distorted by a grimace of hatred. Fallon finally figured out who Tucker was.

The realization of such a strong mistake was a real shock for him, which helped to prolong the moment of clarity. Many people died because of Tucker Austin, but the blame for this lay partly on him. Fallon summoned the full fury of the talent and penetrated into the heart of chaos, grabbed a piece of the fire blazing there and aimed his invisible weapon at Tucker's aura and attacked the enemy with all his might. Before being compared with Zeus, throwing thunder and lightning, he, of course, lost, but for the current case it was good enough.

Tucker gasped, clutched at his heart, and instinctively stepping back to dodge the streams of energy, he flew with all his might into the balcony railing. The railing reached him only to the middle of the thigh, so he could not keep his balance and threw himself over them upside down.

His enemy didn't make a sound because he was already dead, but Jenny's scream shocked him to the core. Fallon knew he would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Isabella: a month before the events...

She didn't expect the bloodhounds to find her in the lingerie department.

Isabella was always alert as she walked home from work through the empty parking lot in front of the mall. Before entering a cheap motel room, she made sure to check for a supernatural fog that signified an intruder; buying groceries in the store, she imperceptibly watched people, and when they came too close, as it seemed to her, she immediately took a step back. No one dared to invade her personal space, even knocking on her door was already a crime.

Isabella had been working in the lingerie sales department for the past week and felt quite comfortable, but when she saw two men wandering in the sports department opposite, she immediately felt the hair on the back of her head move. Isabella took the voice of intuition very seriously, because she saw things that ordinary people could not comprehend.

In the depths of the soul, Unism. Secretly, internally (about the most secret thoughts, desires). More often with verb. nesov. species, with a brief f. adj., with pr.: how? in the depths of the soul, count, feel, believe, hope, experience, desire ...; How? deep down, happy, delighted, indignant ...

In the depths of my soul I felt that I had done something bad ... (L. Tolstoy.)

Stein, a young scientist, in the depths of his soul harbored a firm conviction that the journey would not pass without leaving a trace for science. (I. Bunin.)

In the depths of his soul, he is a peasant ... he hid and protected for the time being the cherished thought and holy faith that the time will come when the whole land will belong to those who work on it. (M. Alekseev.)

(!) Do not confuse with phraseological phrase .

Educational phraseological dictionary. - M.: AST. E. A. Bystrova, A. P. Okuneva, N. M. Shansky. 1997 .

See what "deep down" is in other dictionaries:

IN THE DEEP OF THE SOUL

deep down- about myself, in my soul, in the depths of my heart, internally, mentally Dictionary of Russian synonyms. in the depths of the soul adv., number of synonyms: 5 in the depths of the heart (5) ... Synonym dictionary

deep down- adv. qualities. the situation unfold 1. Hiding from others; about yourself, inside, mentally. 2. trans. By nature, by their inclinations; internally. Explanatory Dictionary of Efremova. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language Efremova

Deep down inside- DEPTH,? s, pl. other, in, f. Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

Deep down inside- Book. With secret faith, hope; subconsciously. When there is a sick person in the family who has been ill for a long time and hopelessly, then there are such difficult moments when all those close to him timidly, secretly, in the depths of their souls wish him dead (Chekhov. Muzhiks) ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language

deep down (of the soul)- foreigner: about a strong, far-hidden feeling in the soul Cf. And trembling and anger takes me, And the epigram stirs In the depths of my soul. A.S. Pushkin. Evg. Onegin. 4.30. See epigram. See in imo pectore… Michelson's Big Explanatory Phraseological Dictionary

Deep (of the soul)- In the depths (of the soul) foreigner. about a strong, far-hidden feeling in the soul. Wed And trembling and anger take me, And the epigram stirs In the depths of my soul. A. S. Pushkin. Evg. ONEGIN. 4, 30. See Epigram. See in imo pectore… Michelson's Big Explanatory Phraseological Dictionary (original spelling)

Deep down inside- Razg. Internally; secretly; subconsciously. FSRYA, 108 ... Big dictionary of Russian sayings

IN THE DEEPEST SOUL- know; understand; hope, etc. Secretly from others, in fact. This refers to the actual thoughts, feelings and experiences of a person (X), which he often does not realize and, as a rule, does not reveal to others. speech standard. ✦ In the depths ... ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian language

stored in the depths of the soul- adj., number of synonyms: 3 cherished (19) unspoken (3) secret ... Synonym dictionary

Books

• In the depths of the soul, Ershova Era. Until the end of the war, young Lizhen, who worked at the post office, saved her fellow villagers from themselves - she destroyed denunciations. Someone complained about non-payment of taxes, someone - about unfriendly ...

I will talk about prayer. What do they mean when they say that our mind is extremely confused? Until our conversation began, conversations were heard throughout the temple. We are discussing something, we are talking. The human mind is very difficult to calm down. We cannot calm down, we want to constantly think about something, talk about something, so that something occupies us, and the mind, like two millstones, would grind it, would do some work.

If someone tells you: "Calm down a little!" - you get into trouble, because you cannot calm down, and this is the cause of all our problems. Namely, that our mind is tormented by thoughts, disappointments, despair, anxiety, stress, fear, uncertainty. For example, today, when the conversation is over and 20 of you will tell me: “Father, what you said, we liked it so much!” But one will say: “Father, what you said, I didn’t like at all! and what will my mind do? He will begin to torment himself because of this one person and think: “Well, why didn’t he like it? How can he speak like that? He offended me! Me, such-and-such, and such-and-such, and such-and-such.”

And what does all this say? The fact that these are games of the mind - constant torment by thoughts, while reality is completely different. I do not depend on whether you say a good word to me or a bad one, and you do not depend on whether I praise you or scold you. Why? Because our soul, our heart, the core of our being was created by God and conceals in itself the whole greatness and beauty of Christ's grace.

However, the mind can make us sick. Because we all depend on what others think of us: how tall I am, how good I am, or not at all. And don't tell me you're going to church without looking in the mirror at all. Or not thinking about what you will wear, how you will get up. That's what our mind does, because it's all our mind that tells you: “Dress well, my child, put yourself in order, don't make yourself a laughing stock! What will they say about you and what will they think?

Or you just got some kind of diploma, and when they introduce you, they forget to mention it. And you immediately start to get annoyed. And why? Who is irritated? The mind, because it says, “They have to say everything about me! And about the diploma, and that I am familiar with this ruler and this famous politician, and that I did this and that!

These are games of the mind, which convinces us to hang labels on ourselves, false signs, so that we are tormented and tormented.

This is a game of the mind that convinces us to hang labels on ourselves, false labels, so that we are tormented and tormented by something that is not our essence. I am not my diploma, not my height, not my beauty or ugliness, not glasses, not cassock, I am something behind it all. In the Church, this something is called the heart. If we collect ourselves there, inside, in the heart, focus each one in our own heart and stop being tormented by what others say about us, then we will calm down. Why? Because everyone has fullness, great happiness, such an abundance of blessings in their hearts so that you can remain happy for many years, all your life.

Why are you unhappy, my daughter? I ask.

“Because the one I loved left me. He left me!

– Now what do you feel?

- I feel bad. Now I feel unnecessary, betrayed, unworthy, I feel that I am worthless!

Imagine this! A man says, "He doesn't love me," and the whole thing gets upset. He gets upset. And who brings him to this? Heart? No mind. The mind made you think that if a man betrayed you or left you (or vice versa: if a woman left some man), then it follows that you are worthless. And even if everyone else loves us, but he does not love you, you feel completely ruined.

And what is it? This is delusion of the mind. All our problems begin with this false feeling, and we torment ourselves, bring ourselves to illness and think that this house, this car, this person who loves us is everything for us, and “if he stops loving me, I will get away with crazy!

One confessor asked the girl:

"Why are you ruining your life because of him?"

But he was so good! she answers. - I love him too much! I can't live without it!

- However, seven billion people on the planet somehow live normally, not thinking about him at all! Nobody even cares about them. And you're going crazy! Why?

Because a person gets used to operating only with thoughts, mind and does not understand the beauty of his inner world. You are beautiful, you are beautiful and valuable, even if the other does not respect or love you. What did Christ say? “There is something in you that no one can take away from you.” Even if they throw you into the fire, even if they burn you, in your soul you have something beautiful, genuine, eternal, which no one can take away from you, shake you and topple you.

Do you get in touch with it internally? Do we manage to get in touch with our soul, with the beauty of our inner world? I think not, because all day long we are doing something, all day long we are thinking about something, our mind is wandering somewhere and does not give us rest.

Why have all these people committed suicide in Greece since the crisis began, and until now, about three thousand people, young and old people, pensioners? Because they have not learned to feed from the heart, and the mind has made them insane. I think when they committed suicide, they were not hungry, no one at that moment suffered from hunger, there was nothing tangible at all that would create a problem for them. What was the problem for them? Thinking about the future, about credit, about society, about children, about the time "when I become a laughingstock because I can't pay."

And what is all this? Thoughts. And who introduced this problem? Mind. The mind made them insane: before reaching the prison, they themselves imprisoned their souls by suicide. That is why I am telling you that it is very important to understand that the mind is telling us lies, many lies.

For example, now I can decide that you look at me and say something bad, but you don’t even think anything bad. It is the mind that says these things. Or a girl is walking down the road and she thinks that everyone is looking at her and criticizing her: “Look, you look at this one.” And no one says so. It is the mind that generates these scenarios and makes you sick. That is why the Church gave us the opportunity to pray.

What is prayer? It is precisely this immersion of the mind into our heart, where there is an ocean of calm, where there is silence, peace, the fullness of God, glory from God, light from God, love from God, where you do not have such a feeling that you that's not enough. You have everything. But to do this, you must first dive into it. Calm down, avoid what you think about, and say to yourself: “I’ll calm down a little, think a little!”

The Saints used (if you remember from the books you read) the method of the so-called Jesus Prayer. This is a short prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!" . All those who have tried it say in confession that they cannot concentrate on this one thing, but think about other things as well. Why? Because, as we said, the mind does not want to calm down, it likes noise and uproar, it cannot stand peace.

Women in the summer say: "Let's go on vacation!" And you go to rest, but even there you find yourself a new job. I see this in my loved ones: they go to rest in the country or somewhere else and start cleaning there, and by the time it is over, two days have passed, and on the fourth they return back. You tell her

- Well, sit down a little, rest!

- I can not! If I don't do something, I can't!

No, it's not, it's our mind that wants a constant noise. He cannot stand peace.

Therefore, the saints established this prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!” - five words so that the mind can concentrate. You can also say something else: “Holy Mother of God, save me!” - "My holy angel, save me!" Or turn to your personal saint. It is not necessary to use only this one prayer, but any, so long as your mind does not rush about endlessly and drive you to madness - into a lie, because everything it thinks about is vain things that exhaust you.

A friend on Mount Athos told me:

“It took some time before I learned to pray and concentrate my mind. It wasn't easy, but when I did it, and with God's help I was able to, do you know how I felt? I felt like I was on vacation in the Caribbean, like I was vacationing on exotic islands, it feels so good when you calm down and stop being tormented by thoughts that torment you and keep you stressed.

This is a very quiet corner in our soul. We all have a garden inside, full of fragrant flowers, but we do not often look into this garden. You saw these signs in the center of Athens, where it is extremely noisy, and the signs say: "There is a garden in the courtyard." They seem to say: “Don’t look outside, where is the noise, you go inside and see! It’s calm there, there is a garden and vineyards.”

The same thing happens in life, behind the noise and uproar that we are now making, thinking about all sorts of things that make you unable to sleep at night. But if you stop worrying with your mind and enter into your heart, you will feel God and hear the voice by which God says to you:

- My child, I love you! My child, I exist and I will help you! My child, you are dear to Me! No matter what others tell you, you are important to Me! Don't worry! Everything will be fine.

“Lord Jesus Christ” - on the inhale, and “Have mercy on me” - on the exhale

This voice exists in us, it is heard, but in order for it to be heard, peace must come in the soul, and therefore the saints, in addition to the prayer “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!” used their breath. It's a secret. Do not say a prayer for a very long time, but only five times a day, that is, take deep breaths, in which, however, says "Philokalia", you will concentrate your mind on breathing and put Christ into this breath, into the air entering inside, and Christ will be in you. "Lord Jesus Christ" - on the inhale, and "Have mercy on me" - on the exhale. However, one should not think about anything else, but monitor the calmness of one's soul, be calm.

What time did you sleep yesterday? One lady answered me:

- What time did I sleep? Or what time did you go to bed?

I told her:

- Both this and that.

I went to bed at 12 and fell asleep at 1:15.

- And why?

Because I couldn't, I thought. I couldn’t, it was as if I was choked by the throat with anxiety about taxes, about a child who did not find a job, I am haunted by thoughts of a daughter who has not yet married, and about the second who is married, but she does not have a child yet . I think about it, I think, I go crazy, I can't sleep. I wake up in the morning, measure my sugar - it is elevated, but I didn’t eat anything in the evening, how strange!

These thoughts drive you crazy and exhaust you. What if you could learn to enter into the sweetness of prayer, trusting God, and laying your problems before God? Learned to say: “My daughter? I present it to God. Job? I trust her to Christ. What will I achieve if I go crazy with horror? What? Very soon - a stroke or heart attack. Here's what you'll get.

Someone will object to me: “In other words, are you now telling me not to do anything?”

Do not think about the problem, but drown it in Christ, entrust it to Him. But it's very difficult

No, what I tell you to do is the greatest. The most difficult thing is not to think about the problem, but to take it and drown it in Christ and entrust it to Him. It is very difficult. That is, today I am telling you to do this work, and I am not telling you not to do anything. I am telling you to do something specific, but not what you are doing. Because what you are doing has exhausted you and made you old before your time.

I have come here today to tell you to leave the problems that occupy you, but not just to leave them, as they say, but to lay them down before Golgotha, before the Cross of Christ - in the arms of God and under the protection of our Most Holy Theotokos . It is very difficult. As simple as it may seem, it is extremely difficult.

It is very difficult for a woman to force herself to say: “I will fall asleep in the evening, and let the child disappear somewhere, I leave him to the Most Holy Theotokos. He'll be back at three, four, so what should I do? In the morning I have to go to work, I can’t wait until three, until he returns, so that later I can swear with him until three and a half, and only then I will go to bed, and in the morning I will go to work no.

No, this is not the way out. What I am telling you about looks, how shall I put it, somehow frivolous, somehow insignificant, but in fact this decision is the most essential. Get out of the madness of the world and enter into the rest of God. That's what prayer does. If you want to help yourself overcome the madness of the world, don't go into this madness, but get out of it a little. How little? 15 minutes, half an hour.

I know one grandmother who prays for two hours every night, and when she talks to you, her face lights up. She does not watch Turkish series. She has time to pray. She doesn't watch series, she doesn't watch movies, why? She wants to pray for others, loves others, thinks about the whole world, about her soul - that's what she does and therefore she prays, and her soul shines and is saturated with it.

Prayer is not torture, we experience torture because we do not enjoy prayer. Whoever enjoys it knows that he does not waste time, because after that, when he enters into life, he feels much better. He is calm, pressure, sugar, his whole body is in a much better condition, and the doctor he goes to says to him:

– I see the results are much better this time. I told you to end this stress, and well done, you did it!

This is where everything starts. What is stress? The mind thinks, thinks, thinks, and you get sick from many thoughts.

Pray for someone else if you can't for yourself

And if you cannot pray yourself, think of some person whom you love and who will occupy your heart a little, that is, let it be your sacrifice for him. Pray for someone you love: a child, a husband, a wife, some neighbor, someone close.

Why am I saying this? Because when you love someone, it’s easier for you to pray, and you say: “I’ll pray for him!” Mothers are kind and sensitive, because when children have some kind of pain, they willy-nilly pray for their child; they don't pray much for themselves, but if something happens to the child, they will always pray.

This is a mystery: pray for someone else, if you can't for yourself, get in touch with God on any occasion. Find some reason.

One woman said to her confessor:

– Father, I cannot focus on God in prayer, I cannot love Him, it is very difficult – what you are talking about. Dude, it's all theory!

And he said to her:

- Child, can I tell you something? To a certain extent you are right that you cannot get in touch with God, but do you love at least any person?

- I love my child.

“Well, pray for the child and get in touch with God for the sake of your child. Use this as an excuse.

This was what St. Silouan did on the Holy Mount Athos when he says that he once prayed - who do you think about? - about monastic workers, about builders. There was a certain Nikolai from Russia who left his wife and children and came to the Holy Mountain to work hard in order to earn money and return to Russia, bring them money. Saint Silouan prayed for Nicholas and made a good prayer - in his mind he said: “My Christ, help Nicholas, give him health, so that he does not fall from any stairs, so that nothing happens to him. Protect his wife, who is alone at home, so that she does not do anything inappropriate, and that his children are healthy!

And at that hour, when he prayed in this way for Nicholas, his mind realized how good Christ is. And after that, after five minutes, he says, he forgot about Nicholas and focused on Christ. He looked only at Christ, left Nikola, because he saw God (and when someone sees God, he forgets about the problem with which he began) and stayed with the vision of God.

What does he say next? What do you think he saw in God? In God, Whom he saw, forgetting about Nicola, in a few minutes he saw Nicola in God. He began to pray for this man, his mind turned away and entered into God, and in God he found the one for whom he was praying.

It means that deep in our hearts we all meet somewhere. Me and you - we love each other in the soul, deep inside ourselves. And your daughter-in-law with her mother-in-law, that is, with you, and those who have daughters-in-law, your souls and hearts are connected in depth. However, there is an incredible collision - you know where? In the mind we are different sorts, there we do not fit together. Therefore, the daughter-in-law quarrels with the mother-in-law, therefore the husband quarrels with his wife.

And who is arguing? Our hearts? No, it is our minds that swear; our hearts are created by God and communicate. There is no person who does not love with his heart. Even the one who deliberately parked in front of your car, in front of your house, even the one who deliberately threw garbage under your window, even the one who harmed you in life ... And your soul inwardly loves him, because, as we said before, deep within us there is a garden.

The depth of your soul loves the whole world and the depth of your enemy loves you, but, unfortunately, we are not in the depth, but on the surface. And what does the mind say? "Are you all right?" Our hearts are essentially like children: a child goes and hugs everyone. A small child has no problems with anyone, he will pout for half an hour, and then hug you again, he does not harbor anger at anyone, forgives everyone - such is our heart, as it was created from God.

However, we are not like that now, we have become “civilized”: “I have some kind of position, I don’t talk to this! No! He doesn't interest me! I won’t talk to him, even if he dies, I’d rather lose my breath, but I won’t talk to him again!”

In other words, it is your murmuring. You are sick, this is our disease, and at the same time our heart wants to love even enemies. Christ wants this of us, but unfortunately we do not do this and we live in the Church and grow old in the Church, remaining the same. Ask someone: what have you learned in so many years in the Church? Have you learned to have peace? Be in love? Connect with others through prayer? Have you realized that the other is not your enemy?

As one girl said to Elder Porfiry:

Father, pray for me!

And he said:

“Now, I will pray before you for you!”

Yes, so I can hear!

And he said:

Her name was George, and she thought: “Now he will tell about me too,” but she repeated the same thing:

- Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

She asked him:

“Father, will you pray for me?”

He told her:

- My child, I pray for you!

“But you say: “Have mercy on me!”

And he replied:

The elder said: “You and I are one. I love you so much that I pray for you as for myself, and I pray for myself as for you!”

“My child, have you not realized that you and I are one? I love you so much that I pray for you as for myself, and I pray for myself as for you!

This is the best. This is what gives us a garden, a garden in the depths. Whoever prays and wakes up in the morning, sees a neighbor and says: “I won’t talk to him!” - he is deeply immersed in twilight. He is still sleeping. This person has not yet understood even the basics of spiritual life.

Whoever prays, that is, thinks that he is praying, and does not wake up in the morning with love, vigor and the will to live, he did not take anything from Christ, did not touch Christ, he touched something else. Maybe he touched indefinite mental phenomena, indefinite spiritual experiences, but is it possible to touch Christ with prayer and remain the same? Is it possible?

(Ending follows.)

With this visual psychological test, you can look into the most hidden corners of your consciousness. He will tell you about the true traits of your character, even if you have learned to hide them from others. According to psychologists, the reliability of the test is 98%.

Take a look at the picture. Which image of the eye caught your attention the most?

Character type: philosopher

You are a person who tends to find deep meaning in everything that happens. You are not characterized by impulsiveness, your every step is rational and deliberate. Sometimes you are so immersed in the world of your own thoughts that you move away from reality.

You try to hide your self-doubt from others. In their opinion, there is no issue that you could not understand. Many people ask you for advice. Your life is like a jigsaw puzzle that you have been trying to put together for a long time. You will not rest until you finally understand the true meaning of things.

Character type: eccentric

You are the type of person who is not afraid to swim against the current. You have a unique outlook on life. Your interests and beliefs may seem somewhat strange to others, but you frankly do not care about their opinion. You never followed the rules.

You have nothing to hide from others. Their opinion is completely irrelevant to you. You don't care what people think of you, you don't think about them at all. You go through life with interest, not being distracted by such trifles as generally accepted norms and public opinion.

Character type: riddle

The most controversial type of character. Trying to understand you is like trying to solve the mystery of the universe. You are in an eternal search for yourself, and as soon as a new facet of your character opens up to you, you change and start searching again.

You seem to be a secretive and incomprehensible person for others, this is not surprising, because you yourself do not know very much about yourself. However, people are drawn to you. They are interested in being around you. You look closely at a person for a long time before starting a conversation, but treat friends who are already accustomed to your constant changes with tenderness.

Character type: expert

Regardless of your age and life experience, others note in you a special rationality and wisdom. You seem to be living echoes of past lives. You are one of those people who learn from their mistakes and draw conclusions, although in your soul you are often overcome by dark thoughts that everything is not going the way you want it to.

You carefully hide your lack of self-confidence from others. For most of your friends and relatives, you are a calm and non-conflict person. Your opinion is taken into account. The habit of analyzing the situation helps you to stand confidently on your feet and overcome life's difficulties.

Character type: fire

Your motto: either all - or nothing. You don't tolerate half measures. You easily switch from love to hate. Such strong and deep emotions make you just burn with fire. The habit of being influenced by feelings often leads you to look for drama where there is none.

You strive to hide the inner ocean of emotions from those around you, however, this does not always work out. People see you as a hot-tempered and impulsive person. But those who are lucky enough to know your love are unlikely to forget you.

Personality type: romantic

Your soul and heart are open to others. You easily find friends and fall in love. Often others take advantage of this, causing you suffering. But you are one of those people who are inclined to take risks and get burned, rather than sit in fear all their lives.

You are trying to hide your vulnerable nature from others. For them, you are a person who goes through life easily and is not afraid of failure and suffering. You draw people to you by empathizing with them and understanding their pain. By helping others, you heal your spiritual wounds.

Character type: visionary

You have probably often noticed that in your life there are many more amazing coincidences than others. Your dreams come true, random assumptions come true, and if you took an umbrella, it will definitely rain. You see and feel a lot. Seers always experience strong emotions: they are easily laughed at or brought to tears.

Those around you are afraid of you deep down, so you are not always eager to tell people that you know a little more about life than everyone else. Your inner world is extremely fragile, it is woven from subtle matters, so you are desperately trying to hide it from strangers.

Character type: rationalist

You know a lot about life. You have an internal barometer that allows you to clearly know what is good and what is bad. You understand and feel injustice, but often keep your opinion to yourself if it goes against the public.

You hide your inner feelings from others. For them, you are a calm and balanced person who always knows what he is doing. You intuitively strive to be better than the rest, and more often than not, you succeed.

Personality type: insightful

You are very good with people. You intuitively feel the mood of other people. Their inner world is like an open book for you. You immediately feel when you are being lied to or manipulated, and you yourself may well use these techniques. Although in most cases, you don't need them.

You have nothing to hide from others, on the contrary, you yourself can tell a lot of interesting things about them. Much is given to you easily, the price for this is excessive emotionality and sensitivity.

You are the type of person who lets almost anyone into your life and heart. You think it's better to risk and get hurt than to close yourself off from people. You don't show your fears and insecurities to anyone. You think that you should solve your own problems. You are trying to give all of yourself to people, even if cats scratch at your very soul. By helping others, you heal your own wounds.

2. Conscious

You are the type of person who is always trying to make a good impression and do the right thing. You believe that your actions matter in the lives of others. You do not show people your excitement and that you are upset. You are trying to be better, because it is the least you can do with your time on this planet.

3. Painful

You can't help but think that life is some kind of big cosmic joke. You are trying to find your peace wherever possible. Looking for your place in this confusing world. You don't show people your dark thoughts. You have been through a lot. It can be said that you are a master of “picking up” yourself after a fall.

4. Philosophical

You are the kind of person who likes to overthink things. Love to find the deep and hidden meaning of things. You, at times, are very much immersed in your thoughts that it is sometimes difficult to return back. You don't show others how unsure you are about everything. You can definitely understand something, but still remain uncertain about it. You imagine life as a puzzle, and you will not play enough until you put all the pieces together.

5. Mysterious

You are often a mystery even to yourself, to say nothing of other people. One can only wish good luck to those who try to understand you. You are like a web of contradictions, changing your mood every hour. Once you find yourself, you immediately change and start your search again. You are a man of few words and confusing others, and sometimes even yourself, in your actions. You prefer to observe the person first before starting a conversation. You only say what you are sure of.

6. Sensitive

You are the type of person who notices everything and forgets nothing. You are very sensitive and even the smallest things can impress you. It is easy to bring you to tears or make you laugh. You don't show to many how fragile you are. Instead, show how insightful you can be. Perhaps you can foresee what will happen in your life in the future.

7. Fiery

You are the type of person who is always energetic or... in love. You are very perceptive. You either love or hate. You have a ton and more opinions, and you decide on actions quickly. You have a lot of energy, but often you are nervous. Everything is a very big bet for you. Sometimes you can't help but create drama in your head.

8. Eccentric

You are the type of person who has unusual interests and beliefs. You are a little weird. Don't really like rules. Often act according to the principle - “What I want, then I turn back! And let it be what will be." You are open to other people. You just laugh at those who are trying to change you. Do not like to be part of the gray mass of people.

9. Intuitive

You are the type of person who understands the world and other people very well. You can tell a lot from a person's facial expression or tone of voice. Feel when you are being lied to. You only show the world what you want to show. You feel when you are being manipulated and know how to control someone if needed. But usually you don't resort to it.