Play or concert?
(a little more about the music competition)

Simpler is better, better
Most often (but by no means always), a music competition, one way or another, is built in the form of an ordinary pop concert. This is exactly what the KVN players of the 60s did. They lined up ready-made musical numbers one after another for reasons of change of pace and mass appeal, as well as increasing expected success by the end of the competition. However, do not forget that the first song should not be the weakest either. It was at that time that the classical staging form of “choir with soloists” was invented, which was quite successfully used by Odessa residents until the mid-90s. And between the songs, the most ordinary entertainment was done - individual or paired, consisting of a set of reprises, the last of which served as a conclusion to the next musical number.
The first NSU team brought the form of such divertissement to filigree simplicity. They no longer needed a choir - almost all numbers, except the final song, were performed by soloists or duets. And the final song was not always written for a music competition. They practically did not even use backup dancers, the role of which had previously been quite effectively performed by the choir. And all this feast of the spirit was always united by the same parody-cheeky entertainer (Vladimir Duda), whose texts were also built on an ideally simple principle: two “killer” reprises of the “news” type, of which the second, as a rule, brought the viewer closer to the topic the next issue and - a classic ironic announcement of the issue. Perhaps the greatest dramatic delight that the Novosibirsk residents allowed themselves in the 1991 finals was a parody of the New Year’s “Blue Light,” in which there were already a couple of presenters and “studio guests,” who, however, did not say a word.
That, in fact, is all dramaturgy! And this simplest scheme worked, works and will always work for the reason that divertissement is such a familiar form for the viewer that in any KVN performance it is a parody of itself. This, in fact, is an analogue of the “team took the stage” situation in greeting. And also this scheme has its undeniable advantages and undoubted inconveniences.
Let's start with the advantages. The first and most obvious thing is the simplicity of the dramaturgy! And this very simplicity always plays into the hands of the quality of humor, because it allows you to easily insert into context your best reprises on absolutely any topic, without wasting time on setting up some special situation. In the same way, you can easily change the places of musical numbers in a competition, noticing, say, at a rehearsal, that their success rating turned out to be completely different from what you originally expected. Finally, such a scheme ideally allows the viewer to be introduced into the context of the song itself, if you like - “to explain what you need to laugh at in it.”
Let us remind you that it is difficult for the viewer to perceive the situation and, especially, the plot directly from the lyrics of the song. Plot songs in general are a very rare thing, although they have existed for many centuries. These are ballads. But even in this case you must warn spectator that a ballad will now be performed.
It often happens that a song, like a joke, initially arises simply from a pun on a well-known line or a technical inversion. And then the meaning of the number has to be searched for additionally, “selected”. Example? Please!
In 1995, for its first game, the Tbilisi team “Real Toastmasters” brought a cute synchronized buffoonery: a soldier’s choir sang “Don’t-Cry-Girl” sped up twice. It was well staged, but seemed completely pointless. And only when it came up with the idea that this was “The choir of the rapid reaction group of the Russian army, which for the third year now has not been able to leave the territory of Georgia” (at that time this issue was very relevant), the number began to be perceived with a bang.
So, the advantages are obvious! All that remains is to find out why something so simple and clear has not been seen on the KVN stage for a long time?
The point is that every “ideal” form implies “ideal” musical numbers. Novosibirsk - with its forty authors, hundreds of reprises and a couple of dozen songs competing for performance in one competition - it was quite suitable. Moreover, any complication (and experiments in this direction were already in full swing) they deliberately rejected, since it could only interfere with the perception of truly brilliant texts. For the same reason, they abandoned choirs and backup singers that “chew” the words, and therefore there were no distracting backup dancers.
But if you don’t have the luxury of forty good authors on your team, or, in the end, you are simply drawn to experiments, you will most likely be interested in reading this chapter to the end.

You won't say goodbye to the song...
The music competition in KVN is distinguished by the greatest genre diversity. It’s just that, unlike, say, a greeting, it initially does not have a sufficiently strict genre definition. By and large, the only criterion for the “musicality” of a competition is the presence of more or less music in it, and from this point of view, any competition in the current KVN (with the exception, perhaps, of the warm-up and captain’s) can be called musical.
One way or another, most music competitions use the form of a “presenter with a concert”, which is “put on” by some additional situation.
An elementary option, known even to school amateur performances, is rehearsal or preparation for this very concert. Nevertheless, this technique has more than once led to success on the big KVN stage. (For example, “rehearsal for a factory holiday” in the semi-finals of BSU-99, “rehearsal for the opening of Kinotavr” near Sochi and “rehearsal for the Kremlin concert” near Tomsk in the quarter-finals of 2000.) Another no less common option is adding some scandalous behind-the-scenes situation to the concert . It was on this that the conference of the famous Tomsk “musical show” of the 1998 quarter-finals was built, in which “in the village of Liverpool” the local director of the club gave advice to the visiting presenter.
The form of divertissement can be hidden “deeper”. How did, say, “Four Tatars” do it in 1\4-98, lowering their concert into an underground passage. However, if the word “deeper” is not read so formally, it is easy to understand that the same form is hidden in the Tomsk conversation between Mozart and Salieri (1/8-98), and in the graceful move between KhAI and the metro (1/8-95), when the theme of the song was simply an announcement of a stop or transfer to another line (“The next station is Anzheliko-Varumskaya, transfer to the Agutinskaya line!”). This also includes countless parodies of television programs (“Musical ring” of “New Armenians” in the semi-finals of 1999.)
The advantages of “situational diversion” are undeniable. And the biggest of them is the uncertainty in such a competition of the “music-text” relationship. Musical numbers are a specific thing, and not everyone succeeds in them. And here, theoretically, you can “pull out” the competition with only one full-fledged musical number. An introductory and final song is added to it, a couple of musical “poke”s are added, and - all this together looks quite musical! Another thing is that the idea should already be original, and the text should be really funny.
Perhaps, “Makhachkala Tramps” were the first to do this, showing “Dagestan News” in the final “musical” of 1996, a parody of “Dagestan television news.” There was really only one, and a rather weak number, which few people even remember today. But the perfectly conceived and played out situation not only brought success in the game, but even entered the KVN annals.
It must be said that in the late 90s, many teams often began to abuse this technique, openly shifting the center of gravity of the music competition to textual “spacers”. But, alas! - the viewer reveals any deception sooner or later, and what was forgiven to the discoverers can now cause outright irritation. So, if you want to play KVN, then sooner or later you will have to learn how to do musical numbers.

Some people like it hot...
Now let's talk about musical exotica. Moreover, it was some very exotic forms of music competitions that at one time created a real sensation, and are now rightly considered KVN classics.
Let's start with a form called “musical collage.” Its essence is that many short fragments are performed in a row “non-stop”, more or less flowing into each other. At one time, Odessa residents brought onto the stage en masse the heroes of “Slave Izaura,” who were then close to the heart of every ordinary TV viewer, which allowed them to “speak out” solo, in groups or all together on any pressing topics, of which, thank God, there were enough in those days. It was there that such “classic lines” were heard:
There is no need to be sad, friend, -
Not our native one in Brazil
Three Marxists, three cheerful friends
They founded their own cheerful system.
And:
The train will depart from Red Square,
The Jews will move, but who will remain?..
The main technological advantage of this form is the possibility of using short song excerpts, which, as we know, are born much easier and more often than it is possible to come across a worthy theme for a full-fledged musical number. But linking such passages into a collage makes it possible to create the feeling of a “large musical canvas.”

At the same time, a very specific form of “short musical piece” arose, which was invented and within a decade “used 100%” by the people of Dnepropetrovsk. The basic laws were guessed by them immediately in the very first musical number that completed the final DZ of 1988 - “Transfer me to self-financing” (to the music of S. Nikitin “Transfer me through the Maidan”).
This classical number is based on the verse form, with each verse sung by a new hero (or group of heroes). The illusion of dramatic development is achieved by the fact that the characters gradually appear and accumulate on the stage, so that in the finale they sing something final and moralizing in a powerful choir. (However, the heroes can immediately be on stage, as in the famous “Emmanuel” or “Gathering” of Russian writers, but then they gradually enter into action.)
Actually, there are no other secrets of form in the Dnepropetrovsk “plays”. But! Their musical numbers contained not only excellent lyrics, absolutely precisely executed according to all KVN canons, - that is, every four lines were a full-fledged reprise. There was something much more important and complex in them, which, in fact, gave the KVN team the right at one time to call itself the KVN Theater: these were not classic KVN “expositions,” but plays!
It is no coincidence that almost no one dared to use the Dnepropetrovsk form when a one-song competition appeared in the KVN arsenal. Although, we admit, it was invented with an eye on the DSU team. However, cautious KVN players preferred a win-win divertissement in this version too, contriving to write several different numbers to one melody or simply pervert ad infinitum in arrangements, modulations and game “pictures”, composing one endless musical number.
And yet we encourage you to dare! What if it works? You just need to do this in advance, and not two days before the game. It definitely won’t work in two days...

Finally, there is a very exotic musical design. True, it fits extremely problematically into the modern timing of a music competition. However, in recent years, a competition called “musical homework” has become increasingly popular, for which the musical, in principle, is ideal.
Another thing is that a musical in the classical sense is a dramatic work in which songs are inextricably linked with action. True, the genre complexity of the task ties your KVN capabilities hand and foot. Nevertheless, the musical still exists in KVN, albeit in a very unique global parody form.
In 1996, the “Makhachkala tramps” intuitively discovered it and brought their “17 moments of spring” to the Music Festival in Jurmala. It was very funny, and they rightfully won “Kivina in Gold” back then. But when they decided to do something similar in the semi-finals, they had to very painfully analyze what they had actually done.
And then it turned out that they had truly hit a “gold mine”: a parody of a cult plot! Indeed, if the viewer already knows this plot thoroughly, and even remembers individual episodes word for word, there is no need to build any special plot for your own play. It is enough to hint that, in principle, you already know all this. And after that - go for a walk, I don’t want to! Turn everything upside down and “combine the incompatible”! And now the Caucasian Stirlitz appears, who is seen off in his native village, and Hitler declares that “he used to be so angry because he didn’t have a bicycle.”
In the semi-final, the Makhachkala team brilliantly developed the theme of Rambo (or rather, American military fighters in general) in the same genre. And then... we were faced with an insoluble problem. It turned out that there are not so many cult stories and heroes at all! As a result, the bet on “prison action films”, which the “tramps” made in the super final of 1997, no longer led to the same success. In addition, it became obvious that even a parody plot must be supported by a predominant mass of game episodes, and the oversaturation of such a competition with extensive musical numbers, even superbly performed ones, leads to the fact that it “falls apart.”
Apparently, after this failure of the inventors of the genre themselves, KVN members considered it killed in the bud. And again only the BSU team dared to do something similar, and only at the 2000 Music Festival, by which time they were already super champions. This time “The Three Musketeers” went “to desecration”. Moreover, the chosen genre was much closer to the classical musical than that of the Makhachkala residents. There was no longer a crazy mixture of iconic phrases and musical styles. In fact, they proposed their own parody plot, which still had to be built, and all the musical numbers were honestly taken from the popular TV movie. And although objectively all this was very, very good, in the context of a music festival, the performance seemed too “loose” and drawn out. (Which, by the way, once again proves that the viewer has very clear criteria for perceiving specific competitions - criteria that cannot be violated!). From the latest examples: “Olesya” of the “ChP” team.

In conclusion, I would like to dwell on one obvious paradox. Why is it that such traditional musical genres as opera, ballet or even operetta are practically not used in the music competition? Moreover, all this was very actively and successfully used by STEM at one time?
Generally speaking, it would be strange if no one in this area had time to experiment. And, of course, there were experiments, and they were not very successful, which, in fact, discouraged followers.
The operetta, most likely due to inexperience, was made in its first game in 1986 by the Moscow Art Theater team. This, however, was not even a musical, but a journalistic competition “Welcome to Complain.” MAGMA went to the opera in the first game of the 1994 season. They also did a small ballet number in the semi-finals of that season, which almost exhausted the possibilities of the genre in KVN, since it parodied it as a whole: Lenin, Stalin and Trotsky in jackets and tutus took several steps along the stage, and then breathed heavily and bowed to the audience for a long time . All.
As for opera and operetta, they turned out to be extremely cumbersome for presenting text. Just as in natural theater, the viewer, having tuned in to such a genre, immediately stops listening carefully to the words and pays more attention to the singing, which, as you understand, is disastrous for KVN.
However, in the quarter-finals of 2000, the opera number “Eugene Onegin” risked showing Tomsk. And the fears were confirmed. During the rehearsals, it had to be greatly shortened and additionally amused with frankly non-operatic details.
Generally speaking, theoretically, it is, of course, possible to come up with a parody of a classical musical genre. Only for this, most likely, you need to directly sing or dance in a very funny way. And coming up with this, you see, is much more difficult than just a couple of text jokes!

The Customer rated this performance of mine for a music competition for school KVN with the word “Super!”

Before publishing, I re-read the text and decided that it was so))

Because the conventionally children's theme “Cleanliness is the key to health” was not too easy to play for the 10th grade.

But I did it.

It turned out modern, fun, and at the same time strictly on topic. In general, it’s cool, I think)).

What do you think, please write in the comments.

Two important points:

1. This musical number is suitable for high and middle schools. The youngest is not. Perhaps only for the graduating 4th grade.
2. According to the text, the word “KVN” is not pronounced by the team. Therefore, you can use the script both as a musical and as an ordinary musical scene on a given topic.

KVN MUSIC COMPETITION

“CLEANITY IS THE KEY TO HEALTH”

THE MOST IMPORTANT:

1. Children need to perform with drive, without thinking at all about how they look from the outside - think about this at rehearsals, but at KVN they just have a blast, like at a good party, only within the script)))
2. Because music, like nothing else, ignites the audience (and the jury are also spectators), and the tightness during a performance against the backdrop of bright melodies will be too visible.
3. I know (and I assume you know) a lot of stories where lack of freedom on stage turned potentially winning musical numbers into pitiful ones.
4. Therefore, look at point 1 again)) Good luck!

KEY ROLES

1. Katya is a la Dani Klein (lead singer of the group Vaya con dios) from the famous video, but at the same time she is a schoolgirl; phone in pocket
2. Back-up dancer – several members of the Team (or the entire Team), enter together with Katya and dance while she sings
3. Clever - a boring smart girl, round glasses on her or in her pocket
4. Boy - conditionally Roma, main male role, appearance - ordinary, in his pocket - an apple and a smartphone
5. Microbes – 3 people of any gender in sweatshirts/vests with hoods pulled tightly around their faces and signs with large inscriptions “Chief Microbe”, “Senior Microbe”, “Just Microbe” (I know - the roles are NOT nice-sounding, but - whatever the theme, such are the roles) . Each person has a long leash (ribbon/rope) in their hands or pocket, with which they are tied to the victim
6. Zhanna - sings like Zhanna Aguzarova
7. Team - a group of children on stage

MUSIC AND PERFORMERS

All music sounds in fragments; there is not a single complete song.

1. Vaia con dios - Ney-na-na-na - Katya sings, backup dancers sing along
2. Yolka - Handsome Boy - sings the Brainy Girl
3. Kipelov - I'm free - sings Boy Roma
4. Denis Klyaver - Ask for what you want - Boy Roma sings
5. Khachaturian – Saber Dance – as if Roma and Microbes are dancing
6. Zhanna Aguzarova - Wonderful Country - Zhanna sings
7. Nikolay Noskov - I won’t agree to anything less - the finale, everyone sings

Whether repetitions are needed (where and how many), opening and closing passages are needed - decide at rehearsal after timing.

There are few altered words. “Native” (or almost “native”) text gives the performance effectiveness by superimposing it on “non-native” circumstances.

In some places the backing track will have to be cut and glued together, since instead of a chorus I may have another verse.

ACTION

The melody of the song Vaiya con dios “Ney-na-na-na” sounds, Katya enters the stage and sings, followed by the Back Dancer, who sings along and dances as she goes. Dance movements - any modern ones, the main thing is clear and synchronous. Palms are clenched, unclenched only at the end.

If the Team is NOT all dancing, you can separate the groups: Katya goes, followed by the actively dancing Back-Up Dancer, a little further on - the rest of the Team enters with a slightly dancing step.

Microbes are also hiding among everyone, but so far they are not visible - the hoods are not yet on, the “name” plates are hidden under sweatshirts, they behave like everyone else.

Vaia con dios "Nay-na-na-na"

Cleanliness is the key to health

They keep telling us when they’re still asleep!

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

But we don’t even raise an eyebrow,

We continue to sleep with love.

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Oh, nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

(You don’t have to repeat so much, but put together a backing track only from the first lines with a one-time repeat)

======================

But as soon as we woke up,

then got dressed and put on shoes,

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na.

They quickly ran to school,

all the problems were solved,

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Oh, nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

======================

We have gained a lot of knowledge

And then they just realized

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Why did we forget to wash ourselves?

(They unclench their fists, show their dirty palms (dirty gloves/stickers) and continue dancing with their palms already open. After the dance, the dirty gloves/stickers are quietly removed.

At this time, 2 Microbes appear, the Main and the Elder, already in their own image. They take out ropes and try to throw them in a loop over Katya’s arms, but it doesn’t work - Katya sings, already standing in place, but actively waves her arms to the beat of the music)

We were in too much of a hurry to get to school!

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

Oh, nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-na

============================================================

The song and dance ended, the Microbes hid the loops behind their backs, and with their free hand they insidiously took the smiling Katya, who was oblivious to nothing, under the elbows.

Clever:

Do you know how many germs are on an unwashed face, and especially on unwashed hands?

Team:

How many?

Clever:

Many, very many! ( Puts on/adjusts glasses, leans slightly towards Microbes, looks at them closely ) At least two.

He approaches Microbes, reads the sign, looks him in the face, and says in confusion:

Microbe... Wow... And so cute...

And he sings to everyone in turn:

============================================================

Yolka - Handsome boy

Ah, handsome boy,
How many girls sigh
How many tears are shed
They're looking at you

(slightly shakes his inscription, turns to the other).

Ah, handsome boy,
How many girls suffer
How much school does he miss?
How bad they feel for you

(lightly hits him with his finger on the inscription) .
============================================================

The microbes hissed at Clever Girl in response and waved their nooses. The clever girl jumped back, Katya woke up, abruptly freed her hands and pushed the Microbes away. They, bent over, jumped over to the Boy and quietly began to entangle his hands.

The boy doesn’t notice, takes an apple out of his pocket, brings it to his mouth, but doesn’t have time to bite - a Microbe sneezes from behind. The boy turns around at the sound and screams in fright.

Microbes to each other:
“You shouldn’t have scared him off - he would have bitten the apple, and we would have moved from our hands to his stomach.” And they would have had a blast there!

You better make sure he doesn't get away from us here ( tugged at the leash, checking .)

The boy puts away the apple, takes out the phone, and calls Katya. He speaks slightly in a panic, and waves his free hand away from the Microbes:

Katya, your germs are getting to me!

Katya, standing a little to the side, answers the phone:

Is it written on them that they are mine?

The boy bends over, looking at the inscriptions:

No, they have something else written on them!

Well, deal with them, Roma - you’re already a big boy.

So they are not small ( looking at the Microbes from top to bottom ).

Then try to negotiate ( turned off b).

Okay, I'll start trying.

Sings to Microbes:

============================================================

Kipelov - I'm free

I could be with you ( gestures to one Microbe )

I could be friends with you ( pats the second on the shoulder, then winces in disgust and shakes off his hand)

I could forget about everything (points to the ropes ), but this is just a game.

So it’s better for you to leave, without offense and without longing,

And find something to do for all your kids.

I'll be healthy! There is no more room for you in my soul! (He taps the inscription of the Chief Microbe with his index finger.)

============================================================

The Microbes, who had been calmly watching before, looked at each other and stepped towards the Boy, hissing, baring their teeth and raising their outstretched palms, like angry cats.

The boy jumped back in fear:

We couldn’t reach an agreement, we need to come up with something...

Walks back and forth on a leash, thinks nervously, “bites his nails,” then remembers that they are dirty, shakes off his hand.

The microbes look at him appraisingly, some with their arms crossed on their chest, some with their cheek resting on their hand. Talking:

This guy is stupid! Out of the blue!

Yeah. He has the Internet in his pocket, but he doesn’t know what to come up with.

Well, well, we're better off.

At the same time, Just a Microbe appears on the stage. He walks with a quick, impudent gait, opens his hand, planning to run it along the backs of the Team. But the Team noticed him and beat him (of course, AS WELL as they beat him).

The microbe breaks out and goes to its own people, already limping and holding its side. The other two Microbes gesture that he is late and direct him to attach himself to the Boy.

Boy:

Invented! ( He takes his smartphone out of his pocket and presses something. ) “Okay, Google,” tell me, what do they use to destroy germs?

Okay, Google (slightly robotic voice from behind the scenes or from deep within the Team):

Sanitary and epidemiological station.

The late Microbe ties his ribbon to the Boy. He tries to pull his hand away, waves it away, Microbe brings his fist to the Boy’s face.

Boy, on the phone:

What if they got attached to me?

Okay Google:

In what sense?

Literally! ( Shaking hand with leash )

Try it first...

=============================

============================================================

=============================

What Google advised you to try first is described in the continuation of the sketch. It (together with the beginning, that is, the entire scene) can be obtained through “”.

With the wish to perform with drive,

Target: development of creative abilities.

Tasks:
- formation of acting skills;
- instilling a spectator culture.

Decor: multimedia, costumes, soundtracks.

Characters: presenter, Fly, Spiders (3), Mosquito, Guests.
a girl with a laptop comes on stage and sings
Phonogram “I’ll go out into the street and look at the village...”

1 I’ll go out, girls, I’ll go online,
I’ll take a look: oh, fathers, what’s not there,
I'll go out to unwind, shake off the boredom,
Get lost for a little while in virtuality...

second girl appears
2 What are you muttering there?
1 So, I'm surfing the Internet.
2 Yes, you have a new beech! You live well!
1 I’m not complaining, only people live even better: look (shows), they play KVN.
2nd Grade! If only we could!

a third girl appears
3 What are you chattering about?
2 Look: people play KVN, and we seem to have fallen from a palm tree...
3 So let's do it too.
1 What a good idea, just find a topic!
2 Why look for it - just about life and playing...
3 No, that’s not interesting, let’s talk about a good life...
2 Or rather about love - this is the best thing in life!
1 About love, so about love. Go!

run away

on the media screen:
"Musical "Fly Tsokotukha"
Characters and performers are listed with portraits
Leading
Our Fly Tskotukha
Had no belly at all
And she was thin, slender,
Oh, there she is!

To the soundtrack of Glucose “And I have the most, the most, the most beautiful...”
The Tsokotukha Fly appears and preens itself

Natural blonde,
Nice - just a picture
And how he can sing!
But let's take a look.

Song of the Fly
“Slaps” Olya Polyakova

I looked for him all over the world,
From catalogs and on the Internet,
I shopped in all the boutiques,
But I found him, imagine, in the wrong place.

takes out a samovar

I didn’t forget to find the money,
And I bought a samovar at the market,
I got it successfully: almost for nothing,
I even dragged him here myself.

Top, top, top, top, top, top, top, top

Chorus: And I celebrated my birthday with him,
I invited everyone to tea for bugs,

Bread, bread, bread,
After all, tea is for free, so why would it be bad?

Leading
The guests immediately came running,
And Mukha has no refusal:

Phonogram “A glass of vodka on the table”

Everything you want is on the table...

Fly
Help yourself, don't punish!

Against the backdrop of the soundtrack “Wedding” by Muslim Magomayev, guests are treated to food
Phonogram "Wedding"

And then there are guests, guests, guests
They sang and danced
And they drank everything, not just tea,
And the improvement in life was immediately noted,
So, by the way, in passing, by chance...

Leading

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Spider
Well, not like a completely old man,
He's bald and not good at speaking,
Our Fly began to press for pity:

Spider 1
I'm a merman
Phonogram from the cartoon “The Flying Ship”

I'm an engineer, I'm an engineer
And I’m not an example for children,
Eh! Work early,
Neither silver nor gold,
My dream, my dream
Decent salary!

Leading

Mucha is thinking deeply here
Not a word from my girlfriends, not a breath,
And what can they recommend?
The poor fellow rushed about in anxiety.

Guests from the corners
“Okay” Verka Serduchka

Okay, everything will be fine
Everything will be fine - we know it, we know it...

Spider 2 appears with tattoos
Phonogram “Vladimir Central, North Wind”

Leading
Here, you see, there’s also a Spider,
The painted one showed his barrel,
He also pulls his paws towards the Fly,
Why is it so bad?

Spider 2
"Murka"
I've noticed you for a long time, beauty,
I have woven webs around you for a long time,
You alone are responsible for my feelings,
You see, Mushka, I came to you...

Leading
Spider, that's how he is, won't back down,
He threatens, promises and buys...
Oh, look, the third one has appeared,
Has this one fallen in love with our Fly?!

Phonogram “Kings can do anything”
Spider 3 appears: cool, with guards, Spiders 1 and 2 are twisted

Spider 3
For you Stas Mikhailov
For you, for you
I'll build a house with a swimming pool for you in a minute,
And the limousine, of course, is also for you,
And to the Bahamas even now, loving you...

Fly

I want love! Big and clean!!

Komarik appears against the backdrop of the soundtrack “Oh, God, what a man” Natalie

Leading

Finally the flashlight came on
This is him, our hero, our Komarik!

I will free you from annoying suitors,
With me, I'm sure you'll feel better,
I'm young and strong and I'm pretty
Look, I'm a real hero!

I will fill the world to the brim with love for you,
And our life will be so happy,
I know, you, Mukha, are also groovy,
We can do a duet with you.

Duet of Fly and Mosquito
“Plague Spring” Potap and Nastya

Fly
Oh, how we got dizzy
Crazy love
The blood got excited
And we went crazy from her,
Crazy love, crazy.

Mosquito
I've been looking for you for a long time, like a crazy person,
How many different cool flies have I stared at,
But none of them ever settled in my heart,
And then you got caught and now...

Fly
And I fell in love with you!

The guests are singing
Phonogram “Good” Verka Serduchka

Okay, everything will be fine
Everything will be fine - we knew it, we knew it,
Okay, everything will be fine...

Fly

Oh, it seems like we played KVN!

Well, yes, we played!

The format of this competition came from a reduction in airtime, when a complete musical task is very difficult to watch with a large number of teams and “unlimited” airtime.

Another history of the competition has its roots in Regional and Central competitions, where at the initial stages and 1/4 final stages you need to already be able to write or learn to write complete competitions, with an idea, plot and minimal drama. And there, as a rule, there are a large number of teams in the game. And watching 8 homework in one game will be very difficult even for an avid KVN fan. This is why they came up with this competition.

The essence of the competition: in 2-3 minutes you need to show a performance with a move, story or idea that will be interesting to the viewer for these same 2-3 minutes. The difference from a miniature or a number in a greeting is that you can show a number in a greeting for 5 seconds, 15 or 20, depending on how interesting it is and how much jokes will fit into it.

Advice: You shouldn’t write a competition as a joke. The queen of the competition will be the story and its ending. This is how films, TV series, and sitcoms are written, therefore, KVN is not an innovator here. Many editors also advise writing a competition for 7 minutes, so that, without losing the story or idea, you can leave only funny jokes there.

The difference between the Music Room and the One Number Competition.

A musical number cannot exist without a musical component. Even the editor of the Major League, Dmitry Kolchin, said: “Remove music from the competition, and if the competition continues to work, then it is not musical.”

A single act competition can be a musical act. On the contrary - no.

What to start from when writing a competition for one act or music number.

Of course, there are timeless works that every person in the room knows. There are not many of them, and one must understand that they have long been worked out and written out in KVN. You can write something new on the topic of well-known works only through the prism of your team, or through a bright character.

News and events that happen here and now come to the rescue. Any current news will be clear to the audience and the jury, therefore, any new news item will be your opportunity to be on this topic for the first time. And, therefore, the funniest.

Advice: don’t go overboard with the idea and its development. People come to KVN for humor and jokes. Therefore, it works perfectly here, as in STEM - an interesting story. To put it simply, it's an anecdote. “Lion issued a decree that you cannot write obscenities on trees. The hare didn’t see the decree and stands there writing,” that’s all. There is an interesting story that I want to see. You can do it in two minutes, knowing what will happen at the end.

Examples of competitions for one act and musical numbers:

KVN 2012. Major League. 1/4 finals. "Team of the Kamyzyak region." Musical number.

History: a song about the mayor of a small provincial town. Pay attention to the motive. A very famous song for every person in the audience and at the screen. For your music track, it is best to take well-known and popular songs.

Content: a large number of jokes combined into one story.

Advice: if the game has a competition for one act, oddly enough, it is better to prepare a musical act, because jokes set to music are perceived much better by the audience. There is, of course, a possibility that all the teams in the game will make a music competition, but that's a completely different story...

KVN team "Cambridge" - 2013 1/4 Musical number.

Idea: Support the Russian national football team. Since this is a television picture, it was necessary to colorize this whole idea visually. However, this is a musical number in which no one sings much. Here is a set of jokes related to comments about our lives, wrapped in a shell of support for the Russian National Team. Such competitions are written quite simply, the only question is the idea, which is extremely difficult to come up with.

“Buns named after Yaroslav Hasek” - 2016. Premier League. Third 1/8. Musical number.

Idea: in fact, the simplest version of a musical number, which can also be winning in a particular game. The team has a large archive of scribbles and authors who can quickly write them for such a competition. Next, the current shell is taken. In this case, it’s an “Escape Room” and after a turn, which begins with the fact that this quest must be completed and it will end anyway, songs are sung.

"Full House" - 2015. Krasnaya Polyana. Festival. One number competition.